Why isn't anyone just whelmed?
by The unknown obsessed fangirl
Summary: These are the hidden stories from the Young Justice team and the Batclan. Stories they will tell each other when they get old. Stories that include brothers bonding, Spitfire, Robin(s), Supermatian, Batman eating the last cookie and Alfred being a badass.
1. Freezing spitfire

**Freezing spitfire**

Kid Flash was the warmest out of the team. Of course being a speedstar meant that his blood pressure high higher than the normal person and if he vibrated the molecules in his body just so, he would become a toaster. Of course he couldn't feel it though. So when the Team was truding through the heavy snows of Antartica he forgot that important piece of information. They had landed on Antartica for a recon mission but as soon as they got off the Bioship a huge snowstorm came and collected the ship. They only stayed alive because Aqualad made a dome around they of water that quickly froze into the perfect shield from the storm but not the biting cold. Robin pulled out a bloody heat pack from his utility belt and handed it around but it soon got cold. After the storm Miss Matian was absolutely distraught when they realised that the Bioship was sweep out of her range. They decided to split up. One team goes to find the Bioship, one team continues the mission while the last team tries to find shelter. Artemis and Robin, Superboy and Aqualad, Kid Flash and Miss Matian. They all split but kept inside Miss Matian's mental range. Kid Flash was running just inside of Miss Matian's range, to find a cave when he heard it. A painful yelp from... Robin. And a cry of help from Artemis. Kid Flash kicked into action, zooming as fast as he could to their location. It ended up being the same place they started off at, the dome still standing. Artemis was carrying Robin but continually stumbling, falling to her knees then getting back up. She growled out a couple of swear words but pushed up. Kid Flash picked them both up, grunting at the weight of them together and hearing Artemis' grasp as he knocked the breath out of her. He groaned as he starting reaching other teammates. When was the last time he ate? Superboy came over and picked Robin from his grasp and he put Arttemis down on her feet but held an arm around her for support. For the whiplash he probably gave her. It didn't matter because she push his arm away anyways, wobbling to stand. Kid Flash dug around in his compartments. Nothing, just great. He looked up at Artemis about to ask if she had food before she was assaulted with questions.

"What happen?"

"Any luck with the ship?"

"Who did this?"

"What happened to Robin?"

"Areyouhurtyourself?" Wally asked over the other questions. Artemis groaned and rubbed her fingers across her forehead but that only just hurt more because they were both numb from the cold.

Then she spoke out, "We found the ship alright. It's about twenty-five kilometres that way," She said, vaguely pointing back to where she came," Only problem is that it's stuck in the drug camp, so Batman didn't send us out here on a wild goose chase after all. Robin decided to do the recon mission with any of us so he disappeared, then I went into the camp trying to find him, following the sound of utter betrayal and gunshots," she said with a smile. "Found him tied to a chair. He has bullet wounds through out his shoulder and leg. I've already cleaned them up and they didn't hit anything important. He just needs to be warmed up."

"We could try to take him back to the Bioship where we could warm him." M'gann suggested.

"There was about 150 soldiers there. If we tried that we would only be able to fight them with four of us since someone would have to stay with Robin." Artemis gently said, popping M'gann bubble. "But we already have a heater right here."

She looked up at Kid Flash, "Remember what you did the other time in Greenland." And then a sudden lightbulb went off in Kid Flash's head.

"Oh, OH!" Now he remembered that all important feature of being a speedster, and made grabby hands to Superboy who promptly dropped the Boy Wonder in Kid Flash's hands. Vibrating his molecules just so, colour began to return to the boy's face. Most of the team sighed with relief. "So any luck with finding shelter?" Aqualad asked, which lead into a long discussion of how they were going to have to make Aqualad create his shield again because it is only flat planes as far as even the super eyes could see.

"We will rest for the night, then when our energy is restored we can finish our mission and get back the Bioship." Aqualad said then took Robin from Kid FLash's exhausted arms and curled around him to attempt to get a warm sleep.

"I'll take first watch." Kid Flash said to no arguments. Everyone curled around each other and promptly fell asleep. He watched at Aqua Lad made his dome again as the team curled around Robin. Kid Flash smiled down at his small team before noticing green wrapped around Robin. Upon closer inspection he noticed it was Artemis' cloak. Which meant that Artemis was only in her normal uniform. Which meant she must be freezing! Quickly he spun to the girl who refused to sleep near anyone to notice a small patch of blood around her leg and her shivering. How had he not noticed this before? He was too caught up in Robin to notice that she hadn't actually answered his question before. Cussing quite a lot he approached the stupid archer who smirked up at him when he approached. "I'm not sure mama Flash would appreciate those words, Baywatch."

Which drove another round of curses as she winced when he gently inspected her leg. Quickly he ran over and grabbed Robin's utility beat and pulled out most of the compartments before he remember the medical section was the third pocket from the back. Swearing all the while he fixed Artemis' leg he smiled when he was finally finished, proud of his handiwork. Then he remembered that she was still freezing and another load of cuss words spewed out his mouth. Just like he did Robin, Kid Flash picked up the stubborn archer and vibrating his molecules just so. In no time she felt warmed up in his arms and asleep with her head tucked in nicely to Kid Flash's neck. He considered putting her down with the others but... she felt really nice in his arms. So instead in two hours he woke up Superboy to take the next watch while he curled himself around the feisty archer.

This was going to be hell to wake up to tomorrow.


	2. Wake up call

**Wake up call**

It had been a long week for - everyone actually. But mainly for Robin. Everyone had had about the Joker rampage which only came to stop last night. Robin had come to the Mountain last night for movie night and promptly fell asleep. Baggy pants, oversized shirt and eyes screwed shut beneath his domino mask, hair a mess covering most of his sleeping face and a complete innocent expression on his face.

He looked adorable.

M'gann was cooing the youngest member, while Artemis was taking pictures, Wally was writing 'Wally was here' in big letters across the boys arm all the while Kadur was simply standing back a small soft smile on his face... and Conner? He was asleep in his own room still trying to figure out what all the fuss was about. After what was probably hours the team *cough* Kadur *cough* decided that rest was in order and Artemis will just send the photos to everyone. The bird was left, slightly snoring, a blanket hazardly thrown on his body.

By in the morning the little boy was still asleep much to everyone's surprise. Same position but Wally's writing was no where to be seen and Artemis' phone- when checked- seem to have loss all photos of the Robin. Which was very weird. Maybe the bird woke up in the middle of the night and removed evidence. But then why hadn't he moved to his room? Or better yet his own home. So many question and yet the boy that could answer them all simply slept on, ignoring everything going on in the outside world. Ok last night was cute but once the afternoon had rolled by and no disturbance shown from Robin everyone started to worry. "What has happened to him" M'gann asked, finally voicing everyone's concerns.

"He doesn't normally sleep like this." Wally finally answered after a moment of silence, remembering back on all the sleepovers they'd shared." What if something has happened to his head. Ohmygodweneedtocallbatmanrightaway. Whatifhehasgoneintoacoma. Whatifheneverwakesup. Ohmygodrobinwakeupwakeupwakeup. Robin- owww." Wally finished as he got hit by the green female archer. Then she went back to rubbing her temples. A headache- the result of Wally's speed talking. Everytime.

"We need to wake him up. Right away. If however in a hour he hasn't woken, then yes a call for Batman will be in order." Kadur said and instantly everyone was trying to wake Robin up. The results were a hazard. Everyone was trying a different thing to wake Robin up and in the mean time getting in each other's way. About fifteen minutes in Conner called for a stop. It was a shock because he wasn't even taking part. Then when everyone turned to him they realised why. He was soaking wet - Kadur's way to wake people up-, holding his ears -Artemis' sonic arrow no doubt-, and his face was red- guessing from jealously of how Robin was being treated by M'gann. The only thing that seem to not of have affected him was Wally telling 'not the finest moments of his best buddy Rob' in order to wake the little bird up.

"None of your tactics are working because you all doing it at once. Maybe if you tried one at a time he would wake up." Super boy, then turned on his heel and walked out the door to the training room no doubt.

"I shall go first then." Kadur said and then with all of he strength he soaked the boy. This received nothing on Robin's part. Wally then -after getting over the shock- launched into an embarrassing story about Robin wearing a leotard once. He was halfway through when Artemis let go of her sonic arrow and everyone instantly covered their eyes. But Robin still didn't wake up. With only M'gann left no one looked all that hopeful. Just as she was about to start sweet talking the boy into waking Conner strolled into the room, picked up the remote, switched the TV on and called Batman through it. After five seconds the stony face of the Bat showed and even through the screen he shook everyone with his bat glare. His eyes switched to each one almost like he was counting them... Or he was looking for Robin. M'gann seem to realise this and she quickly stepped out of the way of his sight of the young bird. Batman simply sighed when he saw his ward, dripping wet no less, asleep on the couch.

Then in a soft voice no one knew he could use he said,"Robin wake up."

The result of this was instant. Robin woke, got off the couch, said a simple,"Hi guys" and walked off. Batman smirked as he ended the call knowing no one would see him anyway- their attention draw by Robin- and wondered how hard the team must of tried. Tried to wake the bird that didn't wake unless it was a call from his father bat. Or heaven forbid a simple alarm clock.


	3. Bad bye

**Bad Bye**

Wally was at Dick's for a sleepover. He felt honoured. This is the first time anyone had ever been at the Wayne's for a sleepover if you don't count when Heroes are knock out in the medical bay of the Bat Cave. He was a first. Both boys had already had a pillow fight, water fight, seen a movie, had Alfred's famous cookies (delicious) and played hide and seek three times. It wasn't like they had nothing to do now but Dick wanted to show Wally something. It was the Wayne's graveyard. Wally didn't understand until he remembered that Dick buried his parents here... Or at least Bruce had reburied the bodies here after someone had tried (unsuccessfully) to bring them up to search them for any riches. That's Gotham for you. Dick walked over to two grave stones and knelt down in front of them. He turned to Wally and motion for him to sit down as well. Wally did better than that... He went up to Dick, sat down and gave the kid a hug. That's just what he was. A kid. A kid who saw his parents fall to their deaths. And yet a kid who still smiles. A kid who, despite the worlds unfairness, still lives his life. The kid in Wally's arms was an inspiration. Dick was crying silently while Wally watched on, in pain himself, letting his tears roll down his cheeks as well. After awhile Dick manage to utter a few words, "Why? Why is it called a goodbye? There's nothing good about it" Wally just pulled Dick in closer and after a moment of silence said," We will call it a bad bye then, okay?" The boys sat there crying until Bruce came to find them. When he came across the two boys he scooped them both up in his arms and carry them back to Alfred's Dinner. "Bad bye." Was all the youngest boy said to his parents.

And so bad bye become the boys way of saying bye when they didn't really want to leave each other.

* * *

"Dude Artemis is in a mood."

"We are all in a mood right now Wally. Artemis is feeling angry, Supes is calm, Kaduar is relaxed, M'ann's happy, I'm pretty pissed about my English homework and you're a coward."

"Hey being a coward isn't a feeling."

"But you admit you are one."

"No! Well I did but... I didn't mean it that way."

"WALLACE WEST!" Came a scream. Artemis. "How dare you! I'm gonna kill you."

"Gee I wonder why Artemis is in a mood. What did you do?" Robin asked nonchalantly. Another scream for blood sounded only this one much closer to the boys location.

"Honey- shampoo bootle- she just had a shower from training- I'm dead. Bad bye Rob. Tell my mum and dad I didn't want to leave them." With that Wally quickly gave his best friend a hug and ran off as soon as a angry blond archeress entered the room. Her skin was still wet, her hair in a towel and she had just chuck on clothes... Obvious. It was a mix between her school uniform, her pjs and her suit. All in all a funny sight. Robin took a picture and pointed in the general opposition direction that the speedster had run off in. She stormed away and Dick cackled to himself. " oh Wally you are so dead. Bad bye, bad bye indeed." Then he looked back down at his infuriating homework. Gah.

* * *

The teams mission was to infiltrate the gang to gather information and then blow up the warehouse as soon as possible. They had already gather the information they needed and were now out of the warehouses blast range just waiting on Robin and Kid Flash to join them so the could leave before the thing goes sky high. With a blast of wind the team acknowledged Kid Flash but where was Robin? The bomb was set to go off in two minutes. One minute. Artemis had to literally hold Kid a Flash to make sure he didn't zoom off to find his best friend. Robin was going to turn up wasn't he? He was just gonna jump out of the shadows and say something along the lines of "what took you so long?" Wasn't he? Thirty seconds. Now Superboy was holding both Artemis and Kid Flash back. He's going to show up. There's no doubt. Right? The warehouse burst into flames and the blast knocked everyone to the ground.

"Robin!" Several people shouted at once but the most clear was the Broken hearted scream of

Kid flash. "No no no. Robin! Dude bad bye bad bye! Robin no!" Kid Flash pulled off his cowl becoming Wally and feel to his knees tears streaming down his face. Artemis knelt next to him and pulled him into a hug tears streaming down her face too. Sobs escaped the speedster just as an eerie cackle sounded. Everyone looked up in desperation and saw the the little bird... Their little bird completely unharmed and grinning like an idiot. "Dude!" Wally yelled and sprinted over to his best friend, hugging as tight as he could as if afraid that if he let go Robin would disappear. "You are not doing that again. Dude I cried over you. Youhadmeworriedsick. Ithoughtyouweredead. DudeIloveyou."

"Bad bye, seriously KF."

"Yes bad bye. If you decide that your gonna get blown up then I get to say bad bye. I thought you were dead."

"But... I'm alive. Come on guys lets go." The team walked back to the Bio ship Wally refusing to let go of Robin the entire way.

* * *

Dick had stayed over at Wally's. They had an awesome sleepover. Absolutely asterous. But now Bruce had come to pick Dick up. "Just another day." Dick pouted using his baby blue eyes to their full potential.

"No." Bruce said shortly and gruffly avoiding his ward. They all stood at Wally's doorway saying their byes. "Actually Bruce I have business to attend to and I was wondering if Wally could go over to yours for a couple of hours. Work... Sucks and I need no distractions." Now Dick's eyes were Bruce and although he knew not to look down at them he did... And was faced with not only Dick's puppy dog eyes but Wally's as well. Damn. Cuteness overload. He'd need to spend the night in the Batcave to recover. He didn't realise he had said yes until both boys let out a whoop and ran back in the house to have Wally's belongings. "Just a couple of hours Bruce, thanks. Work's getting me under. I know you understand. "

An hour later Bruce came above ground from the Batcave just to find two very muddy, dirty, wet and cold boys being instructed to hand Alfred all of their clothes and run off to have a shower from a very amused Alfred. "I will have clothes waiting for you and hot chocolate." The butler said. The boys stripped down their outer layers and Alfred gave them each a towel. "Hey after this Wally I'll show you my gym." Dick said practically running to keep up with his young kid. Just before they were out of earshot Bruce heard Wally say, "Dude you've got your own gym? So cool." Bruce chuckled to himself while Alfred busied himself walking off to clean the boys clothes. When 'uncle Barry' finally arrived the boys had gone through Dicks gym, two movies three batches of Alfred's cookies and one visit to Dicks parents- which they do every time Wally comes over. Dick was currently in the arms of Bruce half asleep. The boys didn't sleep last night and today there had been no rest. Wally was also in Barry's arms as the two said goodbye... Or at least bad bye. "Bad bye Wally."

"Bad bye Dick."

* * *

"Bad bye Wally." Night wing said as he slumped over Wally's private gravestone in the Wayne's graveyard. Wally had three places to remember actually; his statue, his gravestone in Star city and here. His was in between Dicks parents and Jason's. Night wing would be often found out here, never Dick, well at least not anymore. Dicks and Bruce's relationship is pretty tense but when Bruce told his son that he had a gravestone for Wally... Bruce was a big help in aiding through the grieving process. Night wing soon felt hands wrap around him- not Bruce's these hands were too small. Must be Tim's. Then another pair. Jason's. And a much bigger pair. Bruce's. And finally a tiny, tiny pair of hands wrapped around his arm. Damien. A gruff clearing of throat also alerted Nightwing that Alfred was by his side too.

It was a sight not to missed. For once all the Bat family members were together and not at each other's throats. They were in fact helping their bird. All cuddled together whispering sweet nothings in Night Wings ear. Reminding him that he was not alone. "Bad bye Wally West."


	4. Kissing on missions- Wally and Artemis

**Kissing on missions**

1\. The distraction

The mission went south. Of course it always did but still... Not asterous. Totally disastrous heavy on the dis. Anyways the whole team was fighting an army. No joke. The army of the country they were in because it would be possible that they were undercover and trespass even more possible that Wally had somehow blown their cover and it is imaginable that the president had sent his army to kill the young heroes. How and why? The president is under the control of PSimon. Urgh! Artemis didn't even know what country they were in. She didn't know. She wasn't listening. It really didn't matter though because Wally never listens anyway so she will just let him ask all the stupid questions. The enemies seem ever flowing towards the tiring team. Artemis sneak a peek at everyone. Wally was running circles around the warehouse taking guns and breaking them or throwing them at the wall. Often he would run into someone that was just about to shot a team mate. His running seem slower than normal and you could tell he was getting puffed. He stop for five seconds, hands on knees trying to get his breath back and Artemis saw a man approaching him with a knife so she quickly shot him. Wally looked over at the man, flashed a quick smile at her and then kept running. Artemis next looked for Robin while in between fighting off her own enemies. She couldn't see him but could hear his cackle and see a group of about ten men crowded around all looking up at the rafters some screaming "shoot him shoot him" while others looked scared to death and tried shooting blind at the roof. Artemis laughed as Robin dropped down next to her. "Voice projection decoy?" She asked

"The best there is. And my last one. Shoot them with a foam arrow." He said. She completed the said action just as he grappled back up to the rafters. M'ann had camouflaged before the fighting had started and was now causing havoc to all who thought they were only versing five people. She sometimes shapeshifter into one of them and started knocking them all out from behind or sometimes just mentally pick up a crate and used it as a wrecking ball. Kaduar looked throughly tired. He kept lashing out at the enemy only for more to come and take they place. Superboy had literally piles of bodies where he had knocked them out and thrown to the side. Artemis went to join Kaduar- he was having most of the trouble. Just as most of the army had been taken down a scream rose from somewhere to Artemis' left. She quickly looked to find Wally fall and tumble over and over again. She ran over to him, army completely forgotten as she left them with Kaduar. Wally was on his belly breathing hard, he's face scrunched up in pain. Artemis soon found out why. He's left leg was twisted in an angle she didn't think was humanly possible. What happened? She quickly turned him over on his back, careful not to move his leg as much. He was still in so much pain and everyone else was still fighting. Artemis didn't know what to do. She had never seen anyone hurt this badly on a mission... And she hated herself to say this but the fact that it was Wally...

His eyes suddenly went wide open and he started vibrating franticly. "Wally. Wally! Calm down. What's wrong? Wally!" Artemis screamed hoping he would listen, not even caring that she was using his real name. Not hero name. By now all sounds of fighting were silenced as the team- now finished with fighting- came over to Wally and Artemis. "Brocken kneecap. Twisted wrong way. Speed healing is healing it that way. He is is a lot of pain. We need to rebreak it." Robin managed to get out as he furiously rummaged thorough his belt. "Great I'm out of knock out gas or anything for that matter. We are gonna have to do it while he is awake. This is gonna hurt a lot. Aqua lad can you please grab KFs foot and when I say so rebreak it into a straight line. Miss M I suggest you go- it's not exactly something you will want to see. Maybe you and Super boy go make sure that's the last of them and Artemis he is going to be in a lot of pain. Could you- I don't know- distract him?" Artemis nodded. She knelt down next to him, grabbed both of his hands and held them in hers. That did nothing. No reaction from Wally told her that he even acknowledged her existence. Okay new tactic. She let go of one of his hands and gently ran her fingers through his hair. That got more of an effect. He stopped vibrating and his breaths came out more even but a few tears still leaked out of his screwed shut eyes. Sooo... New tactic. Artemis could only think of one more. It was gonna be her first time and knowing Wally probably his as well. But he was in so much pain and she couldn't think of another idea. She waited until Robin started his countdown from three for Kaduar and when he reached one she leaned down and captured his lips with her own. It was a short sweet kiss but it got the effect they needed. Wally's eyes shot open and his body stopped moving completely just as Kaduar yanked his leg back into place. Pain seemly forgotten by the young red hair boy he just looked up at Artemis in shock obviously speechless. Artemis smiled. She should kiss him more often if it meant that he was gonna be speechless.

Not that she wanted to kiss Wally. Then realisation dawned on his face and all the pain seemed to flow through him again. He let out a strangled yelp of pain and a few more tears flowed into the ground. Artemis sighed- she was gonna be on the receiving end of a lot of jokes for this but- she kissed him again. This one far longer. He even kissed back this one. Then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he stopped moving.

"Knew I had one. Sorry Artemis no more kissing now... He is KO. Artemis? Artemis? Did I hit you too. Great now we have to carry both of them..." Was the last thing Artemis heard before she slumped over Wally the cause, Robins knock out capsules.

* * *

2\. Protecting his wife

They were undercover at one of Robins- Dick's parties. Urgh it's so hard to come to terms with the fact that their little bird was actually the prince of Gotham. She should have guessed it but still... Anyways they were here because the was a planned attacked that is gonna be happening at exactly nine O'clock. And this one is real unlike the last one the Dick had set up because he didn't want to be bored at the party. Artemis was still fuming about that. Making up a mission, a fake assassination for Bruce Wayne and his young ward but really it was just Robin trying to mess with their heads as they tried not to reveal their secret identities to the curious boy who actually knows everything... Everybody's little secret. Her disguise for the party was meant to be an adult- one of Bruce's age. M'ann basically had to wrestle Artemis into a push up bra (that sounds really sexual but no one touched Artemis an it was basically M'ann mentally throwing a thousand push up bras at her until she finally caved in) so here she was in a lacy red dress that goes down to the ankles with a split up until her bike pants- seriously high and shows way too much cleavage, with matching seven inch heels and lacy black stockings. The only good thing she could say about this costume was the fact the they at least braided her curled hair and she had a crossbow hidden up her leg. Another good thing was that in her coat she had put away a foldable bow and it covers the arrows. The bad thing- it's Roy's. Yep that's right it had to camouflage with her red dress and coat. Sucks. Oh oh and that's not even the worst of it. They all had identities and the team was going as a family. The whole team was going to be Artemis' kids with M'ann shape shifting into a baby, Kaldur being Raquel boyfriend (Artemis had pointed out the different races of Raquel and herself still not happy about being mother and Batman had simply said that most women that come to these parties aren't... Faithful to say in the least. So that was Artemis' excuse apparently) and Conner and Zatanna being twins. Robin being Dick Grayson of course but that only leaves one person and one position...

Wally was her husband. Yeah laugh about it now. They were now at the Cave waiting on Bat- Bruce and Dick to come so they could go. Oh and they were waiting on Artemus who has had to use some serious make up skills to look like a lady with four children and a husband- nope scratch that five children. So basically she dumped a whole bunch of makeup on. Artemis walked over to the team as soon as the bats arrived. As soon as Dick saw Artemis he did a double take and a massive grin broke out on his face and he bent over and started laughing. He turned to face Bat- Bruce and asked, "Really? You let Artemis wear her dress? HER dress?" Everyone look confused as to what he was laughing about and Bruce just glared at him. That only made his ward laugh harder. "Woah hold on who's dress is this?" Artemis called out and basically ran over to her team. Who's dress is this? It wouldn't be a dead persons would it? Artemis didn't think she could take wearing a dead women's dress. But if Dick had laughed about it shouldn't be a women's dress. So whose. In the seconds it took her to think she hadn't realised that everyone was staring at her. Well one bat was smirking and the other was working on the Zeta Beam but everyone else in her team was full on staring, jaws dropped at the sight in front of them. "M'ann open the mental link" Bruce said gruffly and M'ann complied. Everyone must have have forgotten though because Artemis suddenly had a head full of everyone thoughts.

"Damn those heels must be killing her. Thankful it's not me" Raquel

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god, I can't believe that Batman let Artemis wear Catwomen's favourite dress, hahaha." Dick

"Her disguise, I believe, would fool the Justice League, even my King" Kaldur

"I can't believe Artemis is actually doing this." Conner

"I need to take her out to dances more often" Zatanna

"Wow she looks pretty. I have to buy her a red dress for her birthday" M'ann

"She. Looks. Like. A. Goddess. Forget Artemis she looks like Aphrodite. She looks beautiful."

Wally.

Wally had thought this. Artemis felt herself blush an then seemingly figured out what he thought and blushed too. Everyone else just smirked. "Yeah these heels are killing me Raquel. Is Catwomen gonna kill me if I accidentally ripped this because I do not need another enemy. Umm thanks Kaldur. Yeah me neither Conner. No I'm not going to any dances with you Zatanna even if you buy me an expensive car. And M'ann please if you want to buy me something red I don't wear dresses. I draw the line at skirts. And Wally... Thanks. You are not that bad yourself." Artemis softly replied only cracking at the last one. Everyone looked really nice. M'ann was still yet to shape shift but the boys wore black and white suits with the complimentary colour being their eye colour. It really did look nice on Wally... The green suited him...

Focus

Raquel was wearing a black puffy blouse with a nice red pelted skirt. Zatanna complimented her black hair with a nice dark blue dress that had a black belt. Come to think of it she matched Dick. Oh that is something she was so gonna tease her about later. " Is everyone ready?" Bruce asked

"Yes"

"Good now M'ann shape shift" she did into a little baby girl in a white dress," everyone only talk into the mental link, Artemis pick up M'ann and refuse to let anyone take her from you." M'ann was actually very light, " The teams are M'ann, Artemis and Wally, the second team Kaldur, Raquel and Conner, third being Zatanna and Roy. "An explosion of noise came at this announcement." And Dick and I. You are never to split from your team and at five to nine everyone is to meet at the table holding the cocktails. I'm not sure I need to tell you this but I fear if I don't... Don't drink the cocktails. Artemis your excuse is that you're pregnant again and Wally's yours is that when your wive can't drink neither can you. Got it? Good. After Dick and I leave wait ten minutes then follow." With that he turned and walked out of the zeta beam with Dick hot at his heels.

Ten minutes later Artemis found herself at the biggest house she has ever seen. Again.

'Okay guys mind link only. And try to gather information.'

An hour later Artemis found herself giggling- yes giggling, stupid ID- at Wally who was being surrounded by many women all asking for him.

"I've got a wive." He managed to stutter out. The women all giggled and said, "Then leave her."

"But- but she's pregnant." The women all just laughed at him again,"so?" Artemis figured he was probably at breaking point. He then saw her though.

"Ah, here is my pregnant wife." The women all mumbled and unhappily walked away. All except for one who was sneering at Artemis, her face all scrunched up. The women turned to Wally,"That's your wife? She's ugly. You could do so much better. Like me." Artemis was going to punch her. How dare she! Wally was HER husband- well fake husband. But still hers.

'Artemis calm down' M'gan's voice sounded through her. Yeah M'gann- Artemis had forgotten that she was holding her. The toddler M'gann weigh nothing and it was easy to forget. Artemis was just about to at least scold the women- who was fifty at best with make up absolutely caked on her face- but Wally beat her. "How dare you insult my wife. My wife," he steamed," of which I love very much. My wife of which I care for." Artemis flinched at the word love. He said his speech with such conviction. Either he was a Gramma award winner actor or... Their feelings are mutual. Artemis didn't have time to think about that though because she was whisked into a hug from Wally and- a kiss.

Wally was kissing her.

Wally- kissing- her

Wally- her

Wally

Wally

Wally

When they pulled away she couldn't help the small smile on her face. Baby M'gann clapped her hands and shrieked in delight from Artemis' arms.

Artemis silently groaned to herself. M'gann. She had forgotten her. Again. Urgh. Now M'gann won't shut up about this. Great. To their side someone snickered. It was the women. From far away she did look fifty but now that Artemis was up close she could see that the woman was only a couple of years older than herself. With make up to look like she was fifty. The women grinned at the trio- and there was no misplacing who she was. And Artemis thought kissing Wally in front M'gann was bad enough.

"Be good to my sister." Chersire said then throw a smoke bomb and her feet. When the smoke cleared Chersire was gone. Wally looked in shocked at the where she used to be.

After a couple of deep breaths he said the only important thing. Or at least in his mind the most important thing, "I just kissed you, in front of your sister- who had been hitting on me as a women in her fifties... Am I going to wake up with no balls tomorrow." Artemis laughed. That's what's running through his head. Go figure.

The rest of the night was actually uneventful. The trio informed the team that Chersire was the assassin but she left. That much they knew for sure. The team spent the rest of the night mingling with everyone. There apparently was a close call with their cover being blown but Dick had handled it.

* * *

3\. Mind control

"Remind me to never go on patrol at Gotham again." Wally said to the blond archer.

"It's not that bad. We could have gotten The Joker. Right. Be glad it's just poison ivy."

"Yeah but you gotta remember that Poison Ivy preys on men. I'm a man"

"Really? All this time I thought you were a girl. Left. Well then girl sleepovers is out of the question."

"No you can still invite to your obsessing over Kid Flash girl sleepovers."

"Only in your dreams Kid. Duck."

"The best kind of ones."

"Sharp left. Duck."

"How can you know. You are literally blind."

"Yeah but I can still hear."

The archer was truly blind as she had been hit by some of Poison Ivy's gas that made her blind for about a day. Kid Flash was running her back to the Bio ship so she couldn't be hurt more. Easier said than done because he had to duck under all of Ivy's vines that was trying to kill them. Artemis, who was being held bridle style, was yelling when to duck or where to turn to avoid the plants.

"Left. Jump. Limbo-"

"Limbo? Like 'how low can you go limbo'?"

"Kid Flash now!"

"Okay okay jeez woman."

"Kid so help me- Sharp left- when I- duck- get my sight back I'll- lean to the right-" she didn't get to finish her threat though because Kid Flash tripped- not his fault, a vine got his ankle and twisted it. Of course Artemis couldn't see so the only thing she did when they were falling was hang on tighter to Kid Flash and tuck her head into the crock of his neck.

Their fall was painful but not as painful as the thorns in the vines they both got wrapped in. Poison Ivy was fighting the other teammates so Artemis and Wally were stuck together by tight vines that just keep getting tighter. Artemis had to listen to Wally's moans of pain as vines kept tightening around his ankle- which was apparently broken.

Great. Before it was just an archer who couldn't see but now it's that and a speedster who couldn't run. What a lovely pair of heroes.

Just when Artemis thought it couldn't get any worst she heard a hissing noise and felt another misty sort of air on her skin. Which means Poison Ivy just let another gas into them. Artemis heard Wally moan again but this time he was talking. She sprain her ears to listen to what he was saying.

"No, no. Not Poison Ivy. I do not love Poison Ivy. I love- I- I- I- I love- Poison Ivy- No." Artemis knew he was losing the battle.

"Kid Flash- Kid look at me. Please. Kid please look at me," her hands were on his face and she felt him looking at her. She still couldn't see goddamit " Kid please. You hate Poison Ivy."

He growled at this. Great now she was going to have to kiss him. She tried to ignore her heart that leapt at the prospect. It's the only known way to break Ivy's spell. Artemis took a deep breath and smashed her lips against his. She didn't stop kissing him until she felt him relax on her. Even then she kept going. His lips were soft and irresistibly warm. She tasted doughnuts so that must be what he snacked on last.

"Well while you guys are snogging WE took down the Poison Ivy. Oh and I got all of that on video."

Oh shit


	5. Bat rules

**Bat rules**

What you are about to see is a high case security level piece. This is only shown to Bats and anyone who looks after a Bat. The information shown here shall never be shown to another without permission. But without further ado the Bat rules.

The actual bat rules

_Robins comment _

Bat rule no.1

Never tell/show your identity to anyone. Unless you trust them with your life.

_And have searched up their history, political status, skills, anger management classes, music taste, favourite colour, roster of their work, search history, favourite flower, weaknesses, murders (just kiddledes) and last but most their opinion on Miley Cyrus' new hair cut_

Bat rule no.2

Bat cave cannot and will not be seen by anyone

_And by that it means The bat cave must not be seen by any mortal and live_

Bat rule no.3

Chewing gum is not permitted. ANYWHERE AT ANYTIME.

_Bbbbbbuuuuuuutttttt bubble gum is an amazing loop hole_

Bat rule no.4

Your names in uniform are your hero names. No exceptions.

_Yeah but some idiot calling out dick as an insult is another excellent loophole_

Bat rule no.5

Strict no murdering rule. We protect not destroy.

_sometimes this rule can be very tempting to break_

Bat rule no.6

No one- NO ONE- can drive the Bat mobile other then Batman

_And you think a tiny little rule is going to stop Robin? The boy wonder? Please_

Bat rule no.7

No speedsters are allowed in the cave if they have had any intake of sugar, energy drinks, caffeine or all three in the past 48 hours

_This actually includes both Wally and Barry, unsurprising, after an experience with all three restrictions and a giant penny_

Bat rule no.8

No feet resting up on the bat computer. Not even if a broken leg/ ankle/ foot is in the picture

_If you are watching a movie on the bat screen this rule might be tempting but refrain yourself and propped them up on the bat mobile instead_

Bat rule no.9

When working on an investigation with the police never tell them all the details for one of them may be a double agent

_Also they are too stupid to handle our beautiful intelligence_

Bat rule no.10

If the city is quiet patrol may be cut but only around 12:30am

_And if you're lucky you only have one assignment to work on and get to sleep around about 4:30am_

Bat rule no.11

If you hear a scream always rush to see who's in trouble

_Actually this rule has been deleted for Robin after a horrible experience with a shower, Batman's terrible singing, an innocent assuming Robin and a Batman with a no suit on. NAKED. GOD DAMN IT I SAW BATMAN NAKED_

Bat rule no.12

Every 60 hours at least 2 hours of sleep is in order

_Yeah well there was this incident with an English assignment, Joker &amp; Harley, nightmares and a GODDAMN NAKED BATMAN that prevented sleep for 61 hours. Such a rebel_

Bat rule no.13

Saving cats for trees is NOT something Batman OR Robin must do.

_But stake outs are BBBOOORRRIIINNNGGG_

Bat rule no. 14

The catch phase 'the goddamn batman' is to never be used

_It got you top hits on the news_

Bat rule no. 15

Agent A's cookies are always split evenly

_YOU ALWAYS STEAL MINE YOU THEFT_

Bat rule no. 16

No using people like monkey gyms

_Unless it's an enemy, you have ask permission first or they are quite used to you antics. This is the rule I hear about the most I swear..._

Bat rule no.17

Passwords are to be change every day- twice a day

_My password right now is Robinrocks1234567890!And tomorrow it's going to be Robinrocks1234567890!_

Bat rule no. 18

Hacking into the Justice League data frame for fun can only happen twice a day

_Did you know Flash still sleeps with a teddy bear_

Bat rule no. 19

Don't use people as spring boards

_Ah another bat rule I'm used to hearing. Gave Green Lantern a heart attack with this one_

Bat rule no. 20

Always help a hero who is hurt

_Unless it's just their ego_

Bat rule no. 21

Bat glare is only used on villains

_And friends, and the innocent and the guilty and everyone but Agent A otherwise no cookies for you_

Bat rule no. 22

Always keep track of where you went as your secret ID and where you went as a hero

_Okay there was that one time_

Bat rule no. 23

Always obey your superior

_For Robin, Batman. For Batman, Agent A_

Bat rule no. 24

No uniform to be worn in mansion

_Except Robin trying on Batman's cowl and Cape_

Bat rule no. 25

Never let your guard down

_Your guard is a good man- a bodyguard for you. Never let him down_

Bat rule no.26

Never answer any of the media's questions

_My most favorite one "Where is Batman?"_

Bat rule no.27

Never be caught by the fangirls

_Easy for you to say. Robin has at least triple the amount of fangirls then you do_

Bat rule no.28

Never signed an autographs

_Unless there are any creative reasons why_

Bat rule no. 30

No texting in the bat cave

_Calling is a great exception_

Bat rule no. 31

No texting in the bat mobile

_Calling is a great loophole_

Bat rule no. 32

Never down play the extent of injuries

_"Yes I got a broken knee cap, pulled a muscle and a couple of splinters"_

_"From running into a tree again Wally"_

_"Yep."_


	6. Bat keys

**Bat keys**

Batman couldn't find the keys to his Batmobile

"Agent A?" Batman's voice called from the pits of the darkness of the Bat cave, his usual gruff voice laced with worry.

"Yes Master Bruce." His reliable Butler replied, his British accent seemingly calming to the billionaire.

"Where's my Batmobile keys?" The Dark Knight looked worse for wear and his Bat cave not so far behind. Obviously Joker wasn't the only villain to break out that night.

"Ah yes sir I believe I do know the whereabouts." Batman's shoulders slumped in relief but tensed back up again. His trusty butler continued, "I deemed you unhealthy enough to patrol for the rest of the night. I ordered Master Richard to hide every key you have. He did so quite… excitedly."

"And where would Dick be now?" The Billionaire was clenching and unclenching his hands.

"In bed, resting from his fight. Something I would advise for you to do the same. I would not attempt to patrol tonight sir. Otherwise I might forget the recipe to my cookies. I know this is something you would not wish. Goodnight sir."

"Dammit."

"I heard that sir."


	7. Bites

**Bites**

The Young Justice time was doing what they loved most. Watching fan videos of them on Youtube.

"Oh Arty one of you and Wally." The very excited matian squeaked and with another excited squeak she clicked on the video named 'bites'.

"Bites? What the hell?" Artemis said as she reached over for popcorn. Only to find none. With a glare at a certain Redhead she said, "No more videos until you restock."

Grumbling about her being too slow of an eater Wally got up walked to the kitchen and five minutes later came back with another six bowls of popcorn.

"Are we ready now?" the greenskinned girl question and when receiving an affirmative nod clicked play.

* * *

_Kid Flash and Artemis were roped together and hanging upside down over a pit of lava. The camera zoomed in and words were made out as the archer and speedster awoke. _

_"What the- urg." Artemis said when she figured out what was happening. _

_"Great." Kid Flash groaned, "Batsy is gonna kill us. Stupid Covert mission." _

_"Isn't there supposed to be an evil villain that monotones us his whole plan right about now?" Explosions were heard with a familiar chuckle but they both sounded far away._

_"Guess he is otherwise occupied. I have a knife in my pocket. If only I could reach it." Artemis said then started squirming around. Kid Flash let out a pained groan. Artemis instantly stopped and looked concernedly at Kid Flash, "Are you hurt?" she question as Kid Flash blushed a deep shade of red and looked sheepishly away from her eyes. _

_"There's no easy way to put this. You are a girl and I am a boy." He stated _

_"No shit Sherlock"_

_"A teenaged boy jacked up on hormones." _

_"And?" _

_"If you keep grinding your hips on mine there's gonna be a problem."_

_"Oh, oh. Ew Kid Flash keep it in your pants." _

_"It's natural." _

_"Oh bite me. I'm gonna have to keep wiggling if we have any hopes of getting loose." She started again then gasped in shock and a bit of pain. _

_"Kid Boner when I said bite me I didn't literally mean bite me" _

_"It's helping." The words were muffled due to his teeth still being clenched in Artemis' shoulder. Letting out a huff Artemis starting working at it again. Until _

_"Hey guys. I hope I'm not interrupting anything here. It really looks like I am. I'll just leave. The bioship is outside when your ready. And Batman is pissed. Seeya"_

_"Wait Robin. No! Come back. Come back and untie – ofph- us. Robin? Robin. Robin!"_

* * *

The scene changed to a teenaged girl, with tanned skin, crazy curly hair pulled back from her face in a messy bun and a shirt that says "I'm not looking for trouble".

"Hey guys it's Lit again, this is my new Speed Arrow video on bites. The one you just saw was my favourite, Kid Boner gets me every time but without further ado Speed Arrow Bites." Lit gave a small wave and the scene change again.

* * *

_"Kid Flash!" Artemis cry could be heard, "You stupid idiot." _

_That's what I get for saving your life?" _

_The camera focus and the area was a mess. There was pieces of metal everywhere. Miss Matian suddenly became visible and flew over to two figures crouching in the corner of the camera. The camera zoomed in to see Artemis hugging? No holding up Kid Flash as they turned the camera got a good look at his back. Or lack therefore. _

_"Oh my god KF, are you okay." Both Artemis and Wally stopped struggling and stare at Miss Matian. _

_"Team we heard an explosion is everyone all right." Aqua Lad, Super Boy and Robin showed up all running over to the three heroes._

_"When the machine blow up it sent shards of metal everywhere. KF is hurt because he covered me. "_

_"It's nothing to worry about. It's not all that different than road rash."_

_"KF, road rash nearly killed you last time." Robin informed looking at his best friends back. The speedster hissed in pain as Robin hesitantly touched one shard poking out of Kid Flash's back. _

_"We need to get these out now!" Robin suddenly yelled. "Your super healing is already working and if we don't get them out now they will be sunken into you flesh. It could hit your heart." _

_"What do we do?" Miss Matian asked as Kid Flash, in too much pain to speak, groan and dug his head into Artemis' neck crock. Artemis found his hands and linked them in hers. "Okay, handsome we are gonna need you to arch your back. Lean on my and squeezed my hands when it hurts. I'll be here the whole time. I love you okay. You are gonna make it through this." Robin was motioning behind KF's back to Superboy for him to quickly pull out a shard after he had checked that it would come out cleanly. While Artemis was still talking Super boy grabbed a piece of metal and tugged it out. Kid Flash let out a scream of pain then bit Artemis shoulder. Hard. When Superboy pulled out the next one Robin pointed to the camera and Super boy threw it at it. The screen went to static before changing again._

* * *

_ "Artemis watch out." _

_"What? Oh orf!" The giant snake released Artemis' arm and let her slide to the ground as it slithered away. _

_"Artemis!" Kid Flash was there in an instant and caught her before she hit the ground. "Poisonous. Miss Matian called the Bioship I'm going to try and suck the poison." He sat down and laid her body on his before bringing her arm up to his mouth. Artemis wince and all you could hear was Kid Flash's "I'm sorry Beautiful. I should been faster. Beautiful stay with me. I'm so sorry." Artemis started screeching, "No, no. It hurts. It burns. Make it stop. Make it stop. Please Wal-" _

_A batarang was suddenly seen coming closer and closer to the screen before it hit and the screen went static._

* * *

_Artemis was sitting in a... chair? It was a machine that had plenty of wires and beeping buttons but sure enough shaped like a chair. Artemis was looking worse for wear but awake and struggling against the ropes that bound her to the chair. Suddenly a blur of red appeared and block the camera view of Artemis. The camera was looking straight and must have been used for a ransom video. A fight could now be heard in the background. The blur of red and yellow turned out to be Kid Flash who didn't really look much better than Artemis. Kid Flash moved this way and that, examining the machine chair. All the while Artemis watched him a smirk on her face. _

_"You're stumped aren't you?" She said in a leering voice._

_"What no thank you for saving your life. And no I'm not stumped. I reckon if we just undo the ropes you'll be out." He said quickly._

_"No Kid Flash!" Artemis yelled and Kid Flash instantly dropped the ropes. "The ropes are motion sensors. This chair, "She kicked the leg of the chair, "is a bomb that will blow up in five minutes if you don't disarm it. Without undoing the ropes." Kid Flash nodded along, mentally finding out a way to disarm it. _

_"So the Joker was behind?" He asked to which Artemis nodded._

_"Just like what Batman expected. There's a toolbox over there if you need any tools." _

_"Should I call Robin onto this?" A repetitive sound of gunshots sounded just then and Artemis looked at the roof in exasperation. _

_"Nah he sounds busy." _

_"Why aren't you freaking out? You are strapped to a chair that's gonna blow you up soon." _

_"Because they drugged me and I'm pretty sure if it wasn't for daddy's training, "she said daddy in a cruel, sarcastic voice, "I'd be well and truly out of it." _

_"Okay," Kid Flash drew out on the word, sounding very concern, " Well I can get you out of there if I just-"  
_

_"Please, " Artemis said, sounding exhausted, "just do it." _

_"Okay." Kid Flash said again, still concerned. He lent over quickly, gave her a kiss on the forehead, dragged the tool box over the chair, pull out a wrench and starting doing god knows what to the side of the chair. Artemis slumped over on the chair and Kid Flash looked over concernedly and decided to keep up the conversation. _

_"What did he do to you." Artemis looked over to him, her eyes unfocused. Obviously she was on the verge of passing out. It took her a few seconds but eventually she started talking._

_"After the smoke bomb went off one of his henchman grabbed me. Put a rag over my face and I passed out. Next thing I know I'm awake here. The Joker comes up and apparently he wanted his bird - Robin obviously- not some 'stupid archer' . So he used his famous crowbar- cracked a couple of ribs and then drugged me. I don't know what type. I thought it was laughing gas but all it's done is made be exhausted." Kid Flash looked up in shock at the broken ribs part and started working with super speed his outline whizzed around the chair until finally the lights on in dimmed. The whirring noise stopped and Kid Flash stood in front of the chair, once again blocking the camera. _

"Nice ass." Artemis said in present time.

"Shh!" Robin called out from the other side of the couch. "We are watching here."

Artemis sighed but returned her attention to the TV.

_"Okay beautiful I'm gonna need you to bite this cloth." Kid Flash said. Artemis groaned and looked up and a ripped off piece of Robins cape. _

"Dude not cool." Robin stated to which Artemis got her revenge by shushing him.

_Artemis smirked at Kid Flash and leisurely bit the cape. Then Kid Flash picked her up, jarring her ribs and she bit down on the cloth hard, screwing her eyes shut.  
_

_"It's okay beautiful, we are going home now." Kid Flash said, then kicked the camera over._


	8. Tim's legendary school fight

**Tim's legendary school fight**

**Story based on Scribbled. Ink's story Jumbles and Junkyards (Go look it up!) **

* * *

Nightwing was training Bart and Jamie when Batgirl walked in dragging Robin. She looked absolutely pissed off and Red Robin looked terrified. Behind them was the rest of the team and some of the Justice League. Nightwing scoffed. Batfamily drama was always humorous to others. Batgirl reached them, let go of Red Robin, crossed her arms expectantly looking at Red Robin, who in return found the floor very interesting and shuffled his feet. Nightwing sighed.

"Batgirl report."

Batgirl looked at Red Robin one last time before exploding, "Red got in a fight at school."

Red Robin looked behind him, saw the crowd and turned bright red.

"And..." Nightwing prompted.

"And he's not allowed to fight at school. Nightwing tell your brother not to fight school."

Nightwing smirked thinking of Dami and Jason, who were both suspended for fighting at school.

"Baby bird no fighting at school." He said simply. Red Robin nodded then tried walking away.

Batgirl was quicker and grabbed him again before turning a bat glare on Nightwing.

"You can't just let him off like that. Where's the secret ID lecture? You always gave me one. Where's the justice." Batgirl argued

"Did you win?" Nightwing ignored the girl's growl of anger as he turned to his brother. Red Robin looked up and nodded. Nightwing held up his hand for a high five and Red Robin compiled happily.

"I see no reason to lecture him. Good job, there's my brother." Batgirl gave in to her anger and judo flipped Nightwing. He went down with no fight and she lightly pressed her foot on his chest.

"Besides," Nightwing continued, not at all fazed by suddenly being on the floor. "He will get the lecture from Batman anyway." The crowd that had continually grown throughout the entire thing (Nightwing reminded himself to find out whoever was on monitor duty because obviously they sent out a message) shuddered, Red Robin went pale and Batgirl seem very happy.

Suddenly the Beta Tubes announced, "Recognised Batman."

Batgirl looked happily at Red Robin, "Scram." The crowd took this to heart as well and soon afterwards combat training with Jaimie and Bart was off of Nightwings list to do today.

Wally was in the crowd that day. He took a photo which now is found in many superheroes homes and is proudly sitting on the wall of the Batcave. It's of when Batman finally reached Red Robin and had slung him over his shoulder. Batman's expression looked of one of rage but anyone who knew him would know that there was a tiny smirk on his lips. Red Robins face was caught in the middle of a scream with his arms and legs flailing everywhere. Batgirl was in the background absolutely pissing herself laughing and Nightwing had was gesturing to the Beta Tubes let an usher. And Dami and Jason never, ever let Tim forget that day.


	9. Maths Equation

**Maths Equation**

The reasons why the school called Bruce about Tim were always different. For example the time they called because Tim had made his own maths equation.

"Hello, this is Gotham Academy may we please speak to Bruce Wayne?"

"Speaking."

"How do you do Mr Wayne? May I just say that the donation you made to the school is heavily appreciated and we were wondering if you-"

"Is this why you wished to speak to me?"

"Oh no, no Mr Wayne. We have one of your children here up in the office for disturbing the class. I'm sure it was a mistake, of course but-"

"Which one is it?"

"Pardon me sir?"

"Which child is up at the office for disturbing the class."

"As I said it must surely be a mistake-"

"Madam may you please tell me which one of my children it is."

"Timothy Wayne it appears."

A muttered 'Tim Drake' was heard from the schools line, presumably from the said culprit.

"How do my son disturb the class?"

"Well Timothy-" a pause in which Bruce heard the 'madam' whispering angrily at Tim, "shut up, your name is listed as Timothy, I will call you Timothy". Bruce felt a surge of anger but the woman continue, "- disturbed the class by- er- by making his own maths equation."

"By making his own maths equation?"

"Ah yes that is what the note says."

"Tell me what is school for."

"Well Gotham Academy is all about-"

"No, no, sorry that was a bit vague." Bruce said even though he heard Tim quietly say education in the background. Gotham Academy, while being the best of Gotham always continued to advertise itself. Bruce sighed. "I mean what is the general use for schools?"

"Education?" The woman whispered,unsure of herself.

"Exactly. So if my son made an equation wouldn't that be consider as him being educated enough to-"

"Oh no Mr Wayne. As you know the school is very strict, mostly to keep the kids in line and-"

"Madam if I may ask. Why did Tim get sent up for the office if he was simply doing his maths."

"Well as I said before, he MADE an equation and cause an upset in the class."

"Tim is one of my most well behaved son, how did he cause an upset with his equation."

"Well the teacher came round and checked the work I suppose and Tim wasn't doing it correctly-"

"May I interrupt again. Did he get the answers right?"

A small yes was heard from Tim but the woman spoke over him, "No of course not. He was doing it wrong."

"May I please speak to my son?"

"Why of course Mr Wayne. The teacher has demanded Timothy to be taken home so you may speak to him once you pick him up."

"I wish to speak to him right now please."

A very forced cheerful 'of course' was heard from the woman before a small voice belonging to Tim was heard, "Hey dad."

"A maths equation?"

"I finished the work for me and Michael- the kid on the football team that beats me up if I don't do his homework remember?" A muffled squeak was heard from the woman and a whisking noise as Bruce imagined her snatching the phone from Tim's hand.

"I assure you Mr Wayne that we had no idea of this abuse Timothy was receiving. I'd like to apologise-"

"You have security cameras that I funded. Of course you've seen it."

"A generous fund Mr Wayne, that we are very appreciative for. But I assure you we've never seen it. Perhaps the bully had known the blind points. It would then fall onto Timothy to tell us about it." The woman pointedly ignored Tim saying 'I did' and continued on. "Then we would handle the situation."

"Madam if you so kindly give the phone back to my son."

"Of course."

"Hey dad, take two."

"Finish explaining."

"So I finished mine and Michael's work and then got bored so I started playing with the equation. Swapping the numbers and such. And then I had a completely new- and simpler- equation that even Michael could understand. So I went back through and did all the work again this time using my formula. And it got all the right answers. But when Mr Linathom checked it he went off because apparently I was breaking rules and trying to show up the teacher. Next thing I know I'm here. "

"Okay. I'm coming to pick you up now. Just trying to remember which ice cream you like best. Triple chocolate or mint and raspberry. Oh no that's right you love the strawberry. Silly me. I might take a while the line up is huge. Would you like two scoops or three? I'll get you three you deserve it." Bruce was only saying those things to annoy the bloody woman and the humf that sounded told him that his mission was a success. Tim understood though.

"Thanks dad."

And that's the story of how Jason started a fight in Biology because outside the window he saw Tim in Bruce's car, driving away while eating five scoops of strawberry ice cream.


	10. I promise

**I promise**

Wally had disappeared for three weeks. THREE WEEKS. The team were all in state of panic. M'gann fell back on her habit of baking ALL THE TIME and burning whatever she does bake. Conner takes Spere and Wolf out on walks so constantly that the teammates actually felt bad for them. Dick hadn't been sleeping at all trying to find his best friend with Artemis by his side although Artemis trains vigorously now in any free time she has got. Kaudar was at Atlantis for the first week but had taken up the habit of pacing in and out of rooms and glancing at the Beta Tubes every chance he got.

It was a lazy Saturday but the air was stiff in the Cave. Dick's latest lead just turned out to be a dead end so decided to take his anger out on his homework. Everyone heard various languages shouted angrily from his room. Every now and again it was a language that someone recognised and their smiled at the bird's choice of swear words. Artemis was practicing on her moving targets with her bow. If her hit was not a bullseye a string of curse words spewed from her mouth, most of the time English. M'gann had finally stopped Conner from taking Wolf out from a walk and instead occupied herself and him with cleaning him. Kaduar was working on paperwork, sending in reports of the Teams latest mission. It was around about lunch time when the announcement came through. " Kid Flash B03"

"Wally!" Was M'gann as she forgot all about Wolf and sped to the Speedster. He was slightly limping, had a bandage around his chest and head and one peaking out of his pants. As soon as he saw M'gann he stopped walking and threw his arms out to greet the Matian. Only to have a bird swing from the rafters, straight in his arms and knocked them both over. "Well that was overkill." Wally muttered as he tightened his grip Dick. "I had to get the first hug." The raven haired boy whispered back. They then laughed together and got up off the floor just for Wally to be knocked back down from a green skinned missile. "We were so scared." She whispered fitfully in his ear.

"Hey, hey you think I would leave without saying goodbye." Wally smile. Then he got back up just to be knocked back over by a enthusiastic Conner who forgot his strength just for a second. "Does no one understand I am hurt and should not be thrown around like this." Wally mutter to himself. "Yeah but we missed you." Conner replied. Then up Wally came again, expecting another attack. "I think Kaduar went shopping for lunch a couple of minutes ago which only leaves-" M'gann started but was cut off by Wally.

"Artemis."

"Yeah, she's in the training room. I'm glad to see you are okay Wally." M'gann said. Wally nodded then started hobbling off to the training room.

When he got there, he expected another hug- not an arrow flying quickly towards his face. Survival instincts kicked in and he rolled- painfully- out of the way. Then another arrow came and he ran a couple steps, the dodged another and another and another.

"Artemis?" He spoke out, quite puffed. Artemis was in the middle of the room, firing shot after shot at him. He was just impressed that she was so accurate in between the tears and shudders racking her body. "I thought you were dead!" She screamed at him, continuing to fire. "I thought you were dead." She whispered, then crumpled to the floor but not before Wally caught her. "I thought you were dead." She repeated, staring into his eyes. "And I- I realise one thing. One thing while I thought you were dead." Wally waited a couple of seconds then prompted her. "What?" She wiped her eyes and then glared into his. "That I cannot fucking live without you."

"Then I'm never going to leave you again."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

With that memory in mind Artemis stare hazily through the tears at where Wally just disappeared. On her knees in the snow, shivers racked her body but not from the cold.

"You promised." She whispered.


	11. Zoo trips

**Zoo trips**

Dick once took Damian to the zoo. After losing him twice, finding penguin eggs in his pocket- "Come on Dami, you know you can't take those, now we have to put them back"- and a near kidnapping, Dick just decided to have Dami ride on his shoulders the whole time. Damian was quite a sight, sitting there with a grouchy face that often turned into a smile, juice box in one hand, map in the other and often tugging on Dick hair to lead him in a direction he wanted to go in.

One time he was too tall to properly see at a habitat so Dick took him off his shoulders and the tour group watched in amazement as a he CLIMBED up Dick to sit on his shoulders when he was done.

At the gift shop he only wanted one thing. A cheap little penguin plushie. He was all embarrassed about it when Dick confronted him about it, turning red with a mummer of 'No Grayson of course I don't want the stupid toy. Toys are for babies.' Although he said that Dick couldn't miss the backwards glance of longiness at it. So when Damian went to the toilet he quickly doubled back and got one. Once Alfred had picked them up ("No Grayson I refuse to let you drive, father has shown me the scratches you put on the Batmobile") Dick pulled out the plushie and Damian nearly snatched it into his arms to cuddle. But he held himself back, even though Dick saw him jump and understood. He handed the toy to Damian. "No Grayson, I told you toys are for kids. I refuse to accept it." Dick, not taking no for an answer, placed it in Damian's lap, "What's it's name?" He asked softly. Damian looked up in his eyes and gave up.

"Widow." He stated simply as he held it.

"We are not naming it that. How about Mr-"

"We are not naming it anything starting with Mr." Damian stated firmly. Then in a quieter voice as he stroked it, "Besides its a girl."

"Mrs then."

"Absolutely not. I refuse-"

"What about Betty?"

"She is not a cow."I

"Sam. Short for Samantha."

"No."

They kept arguing about her name all through out the ride home. And up until dinner (although they were doing it subtly because Damian didn't want Drake or father knowing about his toy. He didn't want to seem weak) . And through out patrol. And that night he slept with it and Titus and finally his nightmares didn't seem so bad.

Eventually she got name emanon which is backwards for no name. Dick thought it was ingenious, really and Damian couldn't have the heart to tell him no.


	12. Drugs

Every now and then when a bat or bird gets hurt enough Alfred puts them on the really heavy drugs. And every person deals with it in a different way. Talking, eating or sleeping non- stop (or in Tim's case all of the above). These are just stories of how the family deals with them.

Bruce

"Pennyworth, where's father?" Damian asked. He was confused, he had checked the Batcave, the Watchtower, the Titans Tower and Mt Justice (just in case some other team has messed up and needed help) and the Wayne Tower. Where else could he be if he was not working.

"Master Bruce is sleeping off his injuries from last nights patrol Master Damian. He might be out for a while I must warn you. Why are you seeking Master Bruce?"

Damian shuffled his feet. He supposed Pennyworth was trustful enough.

"To apologise for my behaviour last night. Even though I did what I saw fit, I do realise how father might have taken my actions as reckless and uncaring. He would have never got hurt if it weren't for me."

"Wise words Master Damian. I must tell you to not be so hard on yourself for your actions. Master Bruce is hardly angry at you, if anything impress of how far you have come. He didn't even think twice before taking that bullet for you and I assure you that it wasn't the first time he has been hurt because a Robin has been reckless. I do suggest you rest from your wounds from last night as well Master Damian, Master Bruce will not be waking up for awhile. It's all he ever does when he is on heavy drugs- sleeps. Unless one of his own is also hurt badly. Then he leaves people scratching their heads over how awake he is."

"Thank you... Alfred. I will rest now." Damian walked up the bannister, missing the small smile that replace Alfred's usual serious face. He walked down the bedrooms until he came to a stop in front of a door. His fathers. Slowly he opened the door, then slid inside, closing the door behind him. He waited a few seconds to see if his father would stir before silently making his way to the bed and laying down on the other side of his father. After staring at his fathers peaceful face, he let himself slide into sleep.

Dick

"Make him shut up!" Tim shouted, two of the couch pillows firmly being pressed into the sides of his head to try and prevent hearing.

"We have a no kill rule." Jason yelled back, from the other side of the room.

"Unhand me Grayson!" Damian shouted, trying to wiggle out of the boy's death grip. Unfortunately he was fighting a losing battle so he just attempted to block his hearing like Tim did.

"Did you know that there is a saying about me?! It's, like, really me! Like, you can take the boy out of a circus but you can't take the circus out of a boy! Wow, so me right?! Look I'm upside down?! When did I get upside down?! Oh look Dami you're upside down with me as well! We can be upside down brothers! Wee!" A grave look suddenly appeared on Dick's, as if he just realised that he was only hanging onto a chandelier from one foot, had an angry Damian in his arms and if they fell they would both die. Damian hoped for once his brother would see sense but Dick just unwrapped one arm from Damian and pressed his hand firmly on his mouth. "But we can't tell the other brothers!" He shouted with big eyes. "Or they will want to join in! Shh, it's our secret!" Damian rolled his eyes, "It's bad enough when you get hurt Grayson, but I can't stand this." Dick held his hand (the one that was recently bitten by Damian) to his heart, "Why must you wound me in such a way?" He asked dramatically.

"Why must you not stop talking?" Tim yelled up to his brother.

"Oh yes, " Jason mutter sarcastically, "good comeback."

Tim stuck his tongue out at his brother, "It's three in the morning and he won't shut up. I'm tired give me a break."

"Dick, please get down from there." A new voice entered the echoing room. All heads snapped to a very cranky Bruce.

"Oh now you arrive." Jason muttered.

"Oh, Brucely, look! I'm upside down!" A huge gasped escaped from his lips as though he just realised the most important thing. "But what if I'm not upside down?! What if you're" (Slurring the you're)" the one that is upside down! Oh my god I'm the right way up! Yay for me! Yay! Yay! Yay!"

Four groans escaped the other boys. On one hand they had to stay there to much sure he doesn't fall. On the other they were gonna get absolutely no sleep. Another four echoing groans were heard over Dick's mindless babble. Tim got up to go make coffee while Bruce and Jason made themselves comfortable. It was going to be a long night, Tim thought. It could be worst though. He could be stuck in Damian's position.

Jason

"Master Damian I thought I asked you to get rid of your elephant."

The elephant as actually Dick's. He missed Zitka and all through out his years living in the manor wanted an elephant as a pet. So when Haley's Circus came back in town he told Damian about it and somehow Tim and Jason overheard and they all decided to help Dick steal Zitka. They managed to keep her away from Bruce and Alfred for a week before Alfred saw on the news about a missing Circus animal and Bruce saw how much they were spending on peanuts of all things. They quickly put two and two together and the boys had to say goodbye to Zitka. Which meant...

"We did." Damian said, glancing up from his book.

"Then what on Earth is that noise?" Tim walked round the corner just then, smiling. "It's Jason. He came in yesterday, already fixed just needing a nearby place to crash. He crashed his motorbike, said a few curses, eat everything sweet he could find, cursed about not having donuts and proceeded to fall asleep on the stairs, nearly knocking out two of his teeth. I, being the good brother I am," a mutter 'bullshit' was heard from Damian but was ignored, "carry him to his room."

"Oh yes I remember now. I suppose I'll have to make a trip to the supermarket to get donuts and painkillers now. I shall be gone about an hour, Master Damian, Master Tim, you know the drill if he wakes up. Hot coco and any other sweet things he hadn't already eaten. Master Damian don't listen to him, he just wants a fight and Master Tim, "an espsarated sigh, " make sure he has no weapons near him at all times."

Tim

"Timothy don't you dare pour that whole bottle of whipped cream into your mouth- goddamit Tim it's three in the morning do you have to do this now? Oh look at that you've ripped your stitches, bending back to properly pour whipped in your m- seriously Tim? A cherry? You missed, its not in the middle. Do you even care at all? Come on, I'll stitch you back up and then put you to bed. You have to sleep."

Tim was glancing back at the ball of fruit as Dick picked him up- sending whipped cream and a cherry all over his PJ top (Dammit Tim). As Dick walked pass the bedrooms he stopped at Tim's to kick on the door. "Jason you were meant to be watching him just in case he decided to make a midnight run." The snores echoing from the room broke off to emit a "Fuck you Dickhead" before continuing just as loud. Dick just sighed and kept walking making sure he was extra quiet going pass his door because "Dammit Tim I literally just got Dami to sleep after his nightmares please stop gurgling".

"Hey Dick-"

"Please not now Tim. Pretty please with the cherry that's slowly sliding down my back." Tim either didn't hear him or didn't care.

"I was wondering-"

"No Tim-"

"When the dinosaurs walked the Earth-"

"Please Timmy I'm begging you-"

"Did they ever-"

"Nope they didn't."

Tim pouted before saying, "Well that makes me think that they must have-"

He continued on talking despite Dick's interrupts. Eventually they got down to the Batcave to find Batman still typing away on his computer.

"Go to sleep." Dick told his father before laying Tim down on the infirmary bed.

Bruce rubbed his eyes tiredly, "Nah it's okay. Hey I got this. Go back to Dami." He said walking over to his two sons.

"How did y-"

"His screaming could be heard all over the house, even here. What do you think woke this one up?"

"Hmm." Was Dick's brilliant reply as he started was up the stairs.

"Besides I have cameras in all of your rooms."

"Well that explains a lot. Hey dad can you give Jason a lecture on watching Tim?"

"Already working on the script. It won't matter anyways. It seems the only people that don't listen to me are my sons." With this this he sent a pointed look at his eldest son. With another hum Dick walked up the rest of the stairs just as Tim stop talking about Dinosaurs and started on how Dr Freeze could have saved his wife in other ways. Bruce nodded his head and answered at the right times and in no time Tim was asleep again still blabbing in his sleep.

Damian

"I'm sorry for my existence Todd-"

"The fuck baby bird?"

"I know I'm not wanted by anyone-"

"Hold up where are you getting this from?"

"I'm going to leave in the morning. You're the only one I could bear saying goodbye to."

"Ah okay?"

Damian, in all of his ten year old glory, stood in front of Jason looking as insignificant as ever. Suddenly he leaped forwards and hugged Jason tightly. A running Dick suddenly came into view.

"JasonhaveyouseenDamiohthereheisthankgodDamiyougottastoprunningawaylikethat." Jason blinked twice, then translated it as Dick grabbed Damian out of his arms and into his own.

"Dickie bird you've been spending way too much time with Wally."

Dick looked up from patting Damian's hair. "It's not my fault Artemis popped out a couple of babies and they're having trouble."

Then he started whispering into Damian hair, "Dami you are not worthless, we don't want to get rid of you, we love you. Dami we want you here. Dami we..." As Dick went on Jason connected the dots. The only time Damian ever shown doubt was the same time he got overly affectionate. When they put him on something heavy. Dick carried Damian to the living room where the rest of the family was. They all had blankets and cups of something (tea-Alfred- coffee-Bruce and Tim- and hot coco for Dick and Damian). Alfred got up to make Jason a hot coco while Dick settled into the couch pulling Damian with him to snuggle in between him and Bruce. They did this every time. It was a tradition. They would tell stories about Damian. About how he did something particularly heroic or something that made them proud. Or even something small. Then they would watch all the videos that Alfred make of them from the news because sometimes the media is really good at catching you while your doing something funny. By the third cup run Damian would be happily asleep. And although he would deny with his life, he enjoys those evenings.


	13. Smiles

**I have this headcannon that Batman holds a training day every month and invites everyone in the family while Dick invites everyone wearing a bat. They train for a bit (in uniform for purposes) then just hang around, pull off they cowls and eat Alfred's cookies. So of course this story is on one of those days.**

**Smiles**

Kara thought the Batman was a sourpuss it was true. She did have every right to as it was all the personality he show her, other than his protective fighting. So when she heard he had kids- a little clan, she was skeptical. Of course that was ages ago. She had meet some of his kids, Red Robin and Nightwing but that was only in battle and for a short time. So when she woke up in the Batcave to an overly concerned Clark she was in for a shock.

Clark filled her in on how she got there while she watched in shock at the uncowled heroes training. When Clark had finished debriefing on how she was injured and he was in a state of shock so bad that he decided breaking into the Batcave was a great idea he noticed her staring and told her who was who. Batwomen, Kate, was having a shooting completion with Red Hood, Jason. Batwing, Luke, was sparring with Robin, Damian (and getting his ass handed to him). Spoiler, Steph, was sitting on Red Robin's, Tim's, lap on the master chair at the Batcomputer and somehow they were both typing at once, synchronised. Images of random people kept popping up and Steph commented then rested her head back on Tim's shoulder and promptly fell asleep while Tim continued working, smiling down at the girl. Nightwing, Dick, was welding a piece back on the Batmobile, while Oracle, Barbara, was laughing and commenting, "You broke it, you fix it". Finally Blackbat, Cassandra, was throwing knifes at a target.

Supergirl looked up at her cousin with wide eyes.

"They can't all be his can they?"

Clark chuckled, "By blood? Only one is. Can you guess which?"

Kara scanned the crowd again. Cassandra smirked as she split a knife getting another bulleye. Barbara, threw her head back and laughed as Dick turned around and removed the helmet to show his singed eyebrows and a goofy smile. Steph was smiling in her sleep as Tim put his fingers through her hair and gently kissed her forehead with a smile. Luke smile as he accepted to hand to get off the floor while Damian tutted and made a comment that included a few insults to him. Jason told a joke and Kate threw her head back and laughed. Kara knew for sure who the blood son was. "That one." She told Clark, pointing to the little boy who successfully pinned Luke down…again.

"Damian," Clark nodded, "How did you know?"

"He is not smiling."

Clark chuckled again, "No he is not. But he is learning."

"What do you mean?"

"His story is not my story to tell but these kids here have all been some pretty dark stuff. And with that dark stuff they have a choice. Carry it for the rest of their lives or move on and smile at the future."

"I don"t think Batman has learnt yet. He never smiles."

"He never used to. But look," Kara turned her gaze upwards to find a body she had missed before. Batman was up on a rafter, smiling proudly down on his children. "These kids, they taught him how."


	14. Adele

**Adele**

Adele always makes Dick cry. Always. Every fuc-"TIM!"- frigging time. It gets annoying. Like the one time he and Red Robin were kidnapped.

* * *

Red Robin was new to the suit- Robin had just arrived- so it wasn't technically his fault when he accidentally got both him and Nightwing captured.

Red Robin had come to ages ago to find himself hog tied to a chair. And his chair hog tied to another chair. And that chair hog tied to Nightwing. Facing back to back Nightwing's and his hands were connected. Okay Villains have got to stop doing that. It makes it much more easier to communicate. So after tapping Morse Code back and forth, sorting out a plan Nightwing finally 'came to' followed by Red Robin. He guessed they were in some sort of... perfume shop? Now he was aware of it the fumes were giving him a headache. He groaned and shook his head and body, all part of the act of waking up and secretly slipping a knife into his hand to start sawing at the bonds. He blearily opened his eyes, adding in a few more groans to the sort and peered at the capturers. They were obviously new to the whole villain business. He still had his utility belt on and his boots. And his mask. Damn! And there were weapons littering the floor beneath him. How dumb could these criminals be? Soft tunes echoing the shop, playing one popular song or another. He smirked when the guard finally alerted the others that they were awake, in a squeaky tone no less. "Alright," the fattest man said while rubbing his hands. He was obviously the boss, with thin, whisky blonde hair, a beer gut and a tiny knife holstered to his hip, too far back for him to reach it without twisting his upper half. "This is how it's going down. We," he gestured to him and three pitiful looking others, "are going to bash your faces in til you show us your secret ID." Red Robin heard Nightwing let out a small giggle- "Chuckle, Tim it was a manly chuckle,"- and he let out a sigh of annoyance. How the fuc-"TIM!"- freak did they let those get them. It happens to the best of them as the saying goes. The fat man seemed insulted so he tried to punch Red Robin in the face. It barely grazed him before the fat man stumbled and fell to the floor. Red Robin inhaled sharply in the sort of reaction that one would have if watching a fat man fall. Sorta between "That's gotta hurt" and "Thou alt gravity the heartless bitch". Fat man seemed to take this as encouragement because he got off the floor and started slapping Nightwing. By now the bonds were definitely off, had been for a while, but both boys were enjoying the show. Until it came on. Red Robin wasn't paying attention to the radio until he heard the opening lines.

_Hello_

_It's me_

_I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet_

_To go over_

The effect was instantaneous. The chair started groaning as large sobs were wracked from the older boy's mouth. "Dude you broke him!" The previous guard said, his voice cracking. "Holy shit. I can't have the Bat angry at me. This is your fault Bruno."

The fat man spun just as his 'friends' were running out of the building. Then spun back around as Red Robin knocked him out with a kick to the face. Then he awkwardly patted Nightwing's shoulder as he bawled his eyes out. As soon as the song stopped, so did the crying. "So who got the better of us?" Nightwing asked completely happy again.

" Fetus Greenvale, Nuils Rickwater, Mebal Richard and Bruno Mars." Red Robin said simply, "They all had some form of ID on them."

"Bruno Mars the singer."

"A coincidence unfortunately."

"Bugger."

* * *

Or the time he was at the supermarket with Damian.

* * *

Dick was reciting Green Eggs and Ham to Damian while they were making their way down the fruit aisle. Alfred was back at the house cleaning and cooking with Jason because Bruce Wanye was to hold the annual something party at his was cooking up a storm when he came to the conclusion that Tim was sneakily eating the cream from the can then putting it back in place, an impressive act all things considered. Now Damian and Dick were on a mission. Two cans of Leroys freshly made Cream. They had just walked out of the fruit aisle and into the meat section when the song came blaring out of the speakers. The result again was instantaneous.

_There's a fire starting in my heart_

_Reaching a fever pitch_

_It's bringing the me out of the dark_

_Finally I can see you crystal clear_

Damian winced as Dick fell against the steaks at started sniffling. He contemplated walking away like, "No officer I do not know this worthless hunk of a man." But he stay because- dammit- Dick was his brother and he cared for him. So instead he stood guard over his useless brother and glared at anyone who dared step forward. But the song was so long and eventually Damian got tired of staring down the baby. So he bent down to Dick.

"Why do you do this?" He asked in an exasperated whisper. Dick looked up in shock. Then he hiccuped back.

"Because," deep inhale, "it's, "deep inhale, "so, "deep inhale," relatable." He wined the last part and Damian was done. Brother or not he would not be subjected to such embarrassment. Dick later found him down the candy aisle and they both walked out of the store like nothing happened.

* * *

Or the last episode with Red Hood.

* * *

"Okay this shipment is crucial. I can't have you fucking up, got it?" Nightwing nodded while Red Hood explained the last of the plan.

"You're going to be just above so I want no noise. When I gave the signal you can make as much noise as you want but before then no. noise. Once we have taken the shipment from them meet up here." Nightwing nodded again, then ruffled his tougher brothers hair, "I got you, Jay."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT."

...

He has been waiting for so long. The goons underneath him were just playing flappy bird on their phones and he could see Red Hood feverishly looking down at the docks. All of a sudden the goons starting playing music. Nightwing wondered what the shipment was. Red Hood never told him, but he thought he outta know. These people didn't have guns and they wore a uniform. Crusty's something- Nightwing couldn't make it out. Why were they targeting someone called Crusty _? And were these guys just cocky enough to not bring guns? If it is what Red Hood says it is- an important shipment- then why isn't there more then just two guys? Nightwing racked his brain, trying to think of any gangs that Red Hood had been fighting but all he could of was one of Gotham's best donut shop, Crusty Donuts. Now he thought about it he could really go for a treat. After this was over maybe Jason could shout him some donuts, Jason loves donuts. A man came round the corner bringing a crate of boxes.

"Oi!" He said to the two guards, "Help an old man out. This shipment is the last one before my retirement." The two guards started grumbling about what to do with the music.

"Just put it on shuffle."

"I can't."

"What? Got something to hide."

"Oh shut the fuc-" He voice was cut off by a song coming on. Obviously he had just hit shuffle in retaliation to the jest.

_I let it fall_

_My heart _

_And you rose to claim it _

_"_Adele? Seriously?"

"Don't judge me!"

The grumbling mean walked over to the other old man and Nightwing faintly heard Jason give him the signal- A Robin's whistle (An old joke to them). But that didn't matter because-

"The fuck dickhead. I thought Bruce trained you out of this habit!" Red Hood screamed from across the warehouse because now all that could be heard from Nightwing was the bellowing cries.

"What the hell-"

"It's the bats."

"Why, this isn't even my illegal job."

"I dunno but I'm not staying to find out why."

"Gave the crates and go."

"Happy retirement." The men all said to one another then ran, the old man taking the crate of boxes with him. Red Hood sighed heavily but couldn't leave his brother. Landing beside him, he awkwardly put his hand on his shoulder. It didn't matter anyway, Crusty Donuts gets a new shipment each week. Even so Red Hood looked on heart brokenly as the crates were piled onto the van and sped away.

"My precious donuts. All gone."


	15. Team Texts

**Team Texts**

Texts from superheroes aren't quite like what citizens assume they would be like. Actually it goes along these lines:

**Batman: **I know what you did today.

**Robin: **Look it wasn't my fault! I swear it was KF's idea!

**Batman: **I was talking about the maths award you won

**Robin:** Oh

**Robin: **Okay

**Robin: **Then

* * *

**Kid Flash: **I totally caught a bullet today

**Flash: **That's great, brb, gonna go and brag about you

**Kid Flash: **Wait don't tell Robin

* * *

**Robin: **You know having the bullet stuck in your flesh doesn't count as catching it

**Kid Flash: **STFU

* * *

**Artemis: **So I had the weirdest dream last night

**Kid Flash: **I think you're talking to the wrong person

**Artemis: **No

**Artemis: **No I'm not

**Artemis: **You tell that troll of a best friend to stop controlling my dreams

**Artemis: **I'm not sure how he does it, if Batman taught him or something but it literally could not be anyone else

**Kid Flash: **How would you know that it's Robin control your dreams?

**Artemis: **Because it's about him and some Freshman that goes to my school.

* * *

**Kid Flash: **Dude she is onto you

**Robin: **Impossible

**Kid Flash: **Do you even know what I'm talking about?"

**Robin: **Nope

**Kid Flash: **Artemis is saying how you are controlling her dreams

**Robin: **Oh that

**Robin: **I'm leaving behind clues that I'm Dick Grayson without holding much evidence so when she finally knows she will be so pissed

**Robin: **Right now I'm whispering in her ears as she falls asleep

**Robin: "**You're in trouble, PSimon is after you and you have a deep cut on your leg when suddenly Robin jumps in front of you and saves the day, but when he turns around it's (In John Cena voice) DICK GRAYSON"

**Robin: **You know that kind of thing

**Kid Flash: **Dude I'm going to try that

* * *

**Kid Flash: ** ShE WOke UP!1!

**Robin: ** AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

* * *

**Miss Matian: **What does IDK, ILY and TTYL stand for?

**Zatanna: **I don't know, I love you, talk to you later

**Miss Matian: **Oh okay then I'll ask someone else

**Zatanna: **No that's not what I meant

* * *

**Batman: **You can answer this with yes or no. Do you understand?

**Robin: **I understand

* * *

**Kid Flash: **How do I tell a girl I love her?

**Artemis: **Just do it, nothing fancy needed, just tell her

**Kid Flash: **I love you

**Artemis: …**

**Artemis: **Not on the phone, you dumbass

**Artemis: ... **I love you

* * *

**Miss Matian: **What does IDK, ILY and TTYL stand for?

**Matian Manhunter: **Ask Batman


	16. Team Texts (Part II)

**Team texts (Part II)**

**The first phone call is based off Scribbled. Ink's story Jumbles and Junkyards (Go look it up!) **

* * *

This one is actually a phone call

**Roy: **"Hello?"

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"Go away Dickie."

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"What."

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"Another nightmare?"

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"Been kidnapped?"

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"WHAT?"

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"Oh no, no no no."

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"Not again."

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"No."

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"I refuse."

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **"I SAID NO."

**Dick: **"Roy."

**Roy: **A sigh, "What time."

**Roy: **"Persuasive bastard."

* * *

**Superboy: **Stop running away on missions like that

**Robin: **Thanks to you my cover just got blown

**Superboy: **Half the blame goes to Kid Flash

**Robin: **How did you know?

**Superboy: **I can here that stupid ringtone from here

**Superboy: **There's no way in hell you chose that for yourself

* * *

**Artemis: **Yoo

**Zatanna: **Hoo

**Artemis: **Big summer

**Zatanna: **Blow out

**Artemis: **What are you even doing on Zatanna's phone Dick?

**Zatanna: **What are you doing on Artemis' Wally?

**Artemis: …**

**Artemis: **Touche

* * *

**Artemis: **So after the movie I went back to Wally's house

**Zatanna: **Yass girl GET IT

**Raquel: **Omg gurl I need dets

**M'gann: **So how was it?

**Artemis: **And after the really warming introductions from his aunty and uncle we spent the whole time…

**M'gann: **What?

**Artemis: …**

**Raquel: **Gurl you are killing us with the suspense

**Zatanna: **WHAT HAPPENED ALREADY

**Artemis: **Iris (His Aunty) and I spent the whole time going through his photo albums

**Raquel: **…

**M'gann: …**

**Zatanna: **Seriously?

**Raquel: **You are literally my idol

**Zatanna: **I love you

**Artemis: **I got photos of the best of the best

**Artemis: **So all of you better move your asses over here rn so I can show you and explain how my night went.

* * *

**Superboy: **So I heard you got sick

**Superboy: **Who did it?

**Superboy: **Who did this to you?

**Robin: **Mother Nature

* * *

**Batman: **Team Evaluation Training Session is on Saturday

**Robin: **Really?

**Batman: **Don't pretend that you don't like showing off

* * *

**Dick: **Wally

**Wally: **Dick it's 5 am what's up?

**Dick: **Wally

**Wally: **Oh

**Wally: **Oh

**Wally: **I'll be over in five, make sure you have a hot mug waiting for me and I'm bringing the movies

**Dick: **Can we please watch Disney?

**Wally: **Of course Blue. Disney it is

**Dick: **Thanks Wally

* * *

**Superman: **So I heard you got in trouble at school today

**Superman: **What was that about?

**Superboy: **I get angry at the teachers easily

**Superboy: **And Robin taught he releases his anger at the teachers

**Superboy: **And it just so happens that my maths teacher speaks Spanish

**Superboy: **Not fluently but enough to know a few swear words

**Superboy: **And now I'm suspended

**Superman: **That's bad but maybe…

**Superman: **We could maybe, possibly

**Superman: **Spend time with each other…

**Superboy: **I'd like that

* * *

**M'gann: **XKSNUE GFENWIFEUGB FI BKAH SE K BSEF

**Wally: **Are you texting me to look busy

**M'gann: **Yes

**M'gann: **DNKJFEHWRE RE IAFEJ RFHJ G


	17. Mornings

**Mornings **

Dick was up first. Well actually Tim was up first because he didn't sleep at all but Dick was first to the kitchen. "Hey Alfred." He nodded at the butler who got to work on his breakfast after greeting him back. Halfway through his meal Damian walks down, yawning widely and rubbing his eyes. "I told you to sleep in Dami." Dick told him, concern, while sipping his hot chocolate.

"Tt whatever Grayson." Dami sat next to him and starting eating his salad, content with the silence. About a minute later come Tim. He dragged his feet and whined a bit but managed to make it to his seat across from Dick. After moaning a vague answer to Dicks concerned, "When was the last time you slept?" He promptly smashed his head into the table and starting snoring. Damian 'accidentally' flicked a whole chuck of honey into the sleeping boy's hair.

"My finger slipped." He told Dick who really didn't want lecture the boy because it was way to early. And also because now was the time Jason decided to make an appearance moaning and clutching his head.

"I have the hangover but I don't remember the drinking." He muttered then tripped on the steps, moaned a little more and sat dutifully at his spot. Then looked up with a smirk, "Oh wait." Dick rolled his eyes but finished eating as Alfred served the two arrived boys. Tim perked up at the smell of coffee, but got his hand slapped with a disapproving, "I have seen the mountains of cups in your room Master Tim and that was from only one day." Tim sulked but bit down on his toast. Jason eyed the cup Alfred say in front of him. With a dramatic pinch of the nose and a disgusted look he down the whole thing then gagged on the taste. "If you wish not to drink the cure Master Jason I suggest you don't drink the alcohol. "

"But where the fun in that Alfie." He shot back with a smirk. Dick smile at this moment. In the mornings when everyone is so tired it is possible to contain all boys in the small room without fighting. Of course this doesn't last long.

"Drake I pity you." Tim didn't reply for awhile and Dick almost let out a breath of relief. Maybe this wasn't going to turn into a fight after all. Until

"Shut up demon brat." Dick groaned and rubbed his finger to his forehead, completely ignoring the argument. He didn't pay attention to his quarrelling brothers until Tim lose it and stab the table to vent out his frustration. Unable to help himself Dick squeaked out, in a very high pitch voice, " That is mahogany."

And eyes were on him as Jason barked out a laugh, "Hunger Games, really Dick?" Damian looked up to Dick, his eyes demanding answers as Tim smashed his face back into the table.

"What's the Hungary Games?"

Dick face brighten up, "We could have a marathon."

But his voice went under Jason snort, "You never heard of the Hunger Games before kid. I'm surprise mommy didn't make you participate." A knife was embedded to the wall next to Jason face in the next second. Jason blinked and stated, "I think you are losing your touch, you only nicked me." Insults were soon thrown back and forth while Dick hummed a happy song and Tim snored on happily.

Bruce turned to Alfred, "I'm sad to say, I'm used to it."


	18. Batclan Texts

**Batclan Texts**

**Dick: **Okay I love you byeeeeeee

**Damian: **Don't say that word

**Dick: **Byeee?

**Damian: **No

**Dick: **Okay

**Damian: **No

**Dick: **You

**Damian: **Grayson

**Dick: **Why don't you like me saying love

**Damian: **Be it's disgusting. I want nothing to do with it

**Dick: **Whatever. I love you Damian and I can wait til you are comfortable with saying it back

**Damian: **Tt imbecile

* * *

**Tim: **Okay I've hacked into this kids Facebook

**Jason: **Okay now I want you to change everything to porn

**Dick: **He is 11

**Jason: **He tease Damian at school

**Tim: **Porn it is

**Dick: **Make sure he can never take it down

* * *

**Jason: **Okay there is no need to get violent

**Tim: **YOU FUCKING SHOT ME YESTERDAY

**Jason: **I was going to ask if you were still mad but…

* * *

**Tim: **What part of 'I hate you' do you not understand

**Jason: **The part where you hate me. Like how, I'm fucking amazing

* * *

**Damian: **Stop taking photos while I sleep!

**Jason: **Your just too cute!

**Damian: ***You're

**Jason: **Well fuck my last sentence you are not cute

* * *

**Dick: **Happy Birthday

**Tim: **My birthday was last week

**Dick: **Today's the 26th?

**Tim: **Yes

**Dick: **Fukk

* * *

**Tim: **I'm si j tired

**Damian: **I have no time for you

**Tim: **Why isd there sso muccch blooddd

**Damian: **What have you done you fool?

**Damian: **You went out on patrol didn't you?

**Damian: **I refuse to aid you in your ridiculous attempt to get yourself killed

**Tim: **So mmuch blood

**Damian: **… If father finds out this is all your fault

**Damian: **Where are you?

**Tim: **Rede is a rreally pretty colpour

**Damian: **I shall use your tracker then

* * *

**Jason: **You have to stop giving me food

**Jason: **I forget to eat it and now I have a mouse problem

**Dick: **I literally watch you get back in from patrol and pig out on everything

**Jason: **Yeah whatever…

**Jason: **Thanks

**Dick: **That is all I ask

* * *

**Jason: **Why doesn't Poison Ivy wear clothes. It's getting more and more hard to think around her

**Dick: **Just be glad she hasn't gone all natural yet

* * *

**Dick: **So remember how Tim has now started wearing glasses

**Bruce: **Yes…

**Dick: **I've just witnessed- in the middle of an argument- Damian calmly pluck the glasses off Tim's head and snap them in two.

* * *

**Red Robin: **Who painted my nails

**Nightwing: **In a fight right now

**Red Hood: **Can't this wait until we got home, you literally just gave away my position.

**Robin: **I did

**Robin: **I thought it would be more suiting to your personality

**Red Robin: **Bright pink Robin, bright pink

**Robin: **Exactly

**Batman: **No phones on patrol

**Red Hodd: **YOU ARE ALSO ON PARTOL

* * *

**Alfred: **Monopoly is now also banned

**Tim: **I suppose we deserved that one

**Jason: **Well it wouldn't be if Dick wasn't SUCH A DIRTY CHEATER

**Dick: **I DIDN'T CHEAT

**Dick: **YOU ARE JUST AN EXTREMELY SORE LOSER

**Alfred: **I rest my case

* * *

**This one is about nightmares and sharing beds**

* * *

**Dick: **I got Damian

**Bruce: **Tim just walked in a minute ago

**Dick: **So basically we are stuffed if Jason has a nightmare tonight

**Bruce: **Not exactly

**Bruce: **It wouldn't be the first time he went to Alfred

* * *

**Damian: **I love you Grayson

**Dick: **I love you too Dami

* * *

**Alfred: **Strip poker is now banned

**Dick: **I wasn't here

**Dick: **I want to hear the story behind it

**Jason: **Not much of one

**Jason: **I striped naked, Replacement blushed bright red, Demon walked in and Bruce had to explain what incest was

**Dick: **Huh, I thought you were straight

**Jason: **I am

* * *

**Bruce: **I've lose Damian

**Dick: **Where did you leave him last

**Bruce: **We were playing Hide N Seek

**Bruce: **I have looked everywhere

**Dick: **Check the vent in the third spare bedroom, second floor on the left wing

**Bruce: **…

**Bruce: **Thank you


	19. New Years Eve

**New Years Eve**

"Why have you kidnapped me and taken me to the Leagues New Years party?" Damian

"Shh- shh!" Tim

"Random question Robin. Do you know those types of kisses that grandkids normally call big sloppy ones?" Jason

"What kind of question is that?" Damian

"Wait for it." Jason

"Last minute." Tim

"I reckon he is gonna back out." Jason

"Betcha ten bucks he doesn't." Tim

The three boys were in fact at the Justice Leagues New Years party. They were hidden round the corner and their focus of attention; Batman. The League started counting down from thirty and the boys could already see Green Arrow snogging Black Canary, Green Lantern slowly edging to Hawkwomen and most importantly Nightwing sneaking in behind Batman. Slowly, with fifteen seconds left Tim (as Red Robin) hit the record button on the video camera and couched down to get a better view of Batman. Batman, with his batdad senses, of course saw him. But with five seconds left it was already too late. As soon as the timer went Nightwing threw himself on Batman- like a desperate women would throw herself on Bruce- and placed a big, wet sloppy one on Batmans cheek (the part that wasn't hidden from the cowl). Tim hit stop recording and sprinted to the Zetabeams. He was joined by Red Hood, who had slung Robin across his back and Nightwing who only just managed to escape with his life.

"You owe me ten bucks." Tim panted to Jason once they are in the safety of the Batcave. Damian smiled up at his brothers. They all beamed back down at him. It was a New Years miracle. There was a click and a flash of camera and the boys all looked at Alfred. "Agent A I demand that you delete that this moment." The boys smirked. It was a working process.


	20. Team texts- Background stories

**Team texts- background stories**

**Requested**

Roy was tired, life was being a bitch. He was still looking for the 'real' Roy and half the League had already dropped the task saying he was probably dead. Roy refused to believe that was true. He was currently laying out on the couch trying to count sleep. It wasn't working so when the phone rang he was glad for the distraction. Except he didn't check the caller ID which was his first mistake. He had been avoiding Dick and Wally because the League was going out of World and wanted a babysitter. And Dick was a persuasive bastard so.. yeah first mistake.

**Roy:**"Hello?"

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"Go away Dickie."

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"What."

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"Another nightmare?"

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"Been kidnapped?"

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"WHAT?"

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"Oh no, no no no."

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"Not again."

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"No."

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"I refuse."

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**"I SAID NO."

**Dick:**"Roy."

**Roy:**A sigh, "What time."

**Roy:**"Persuasive bastard."

Second mistake: saying yes. Now he was in Mount Justice slowing losing his shit. Third mistake: not taking away all the sugar. Wally was spinning circles around Dick, who was doing a handstand with one hand then jumping to the next, and Kaduar was reading what Artemis gave him (Fifty shades of Grey) but when Roy tried to take the book away from the horrific Atlantian he simply said he needed to understand humans more anyway. M'gann was cooking with Artemis, some Chinse dish but they burned it and now the mountain skunk. All the while Conner took Wolf for a walk… four hours ago. When the League finally returned Roy stormed off, saying never again, only to repeat the same incident not even a week later.

First mistake: Not checking the caller ID

**Wally: **Roy

**Roy: **No

**Wally: **Roy

**Roy: **Please no

**Wally: **Roy

**Roy: **Hell no

**Wally: **Roy

**Roy: **No

**Wally: **Roy

**Roy: **Fine

* * *

Yeah okay Wally way passed just sleeping. But Dick didn't need to know that. See, Dick has a system whether he realizes it or not (he does). If he has nightmares about villains he goes to Bruce. Whereas if he has the dreaded dream of his parents- well he had taken to calling Roy and Wally. But Roy was on mission at the time Wally got the texts.

**Dick:**Wally

**Wally:**Dick it's 5 am what's up?

**Dick:**Wally

**Wally:**Oh

**Wally:**Oh

**Wally:**I'll be over in five, make sure you have a hot mug waiting for me and I'm bringing the movies

**Dick:**Can we please watch Disney?

**Wally:**Of course Blue. Disney it is

**Dick:**Thanks Wally.

Wally got over there in 4:55 minutes, thank you very much and he was instantly let in by the butler. How Alfred knew Dick had called for him he had no idea but didn't care. He raced up the stairs to a familiar bird's bedroom and ran in without knocking. Dick was bending over the old Flying Grayson's poster, tears streaming down his face.

"Hey in all honestly you looked dashing in a leotard." Wally told his friend as he sat on the bed and carefully encircling his friend in a hug, being mindful of the old poster. He felt Dick snort against his shoulder. _Mission success. _After a few more encouraging words Wally pulled out his bag of Disney movies. "Brave or Mulan first. I reckon you'll say Brave because of her red hair. Am I right? Yes? Yes!" Wally pretty much kept up the one-sided conversation until the movie started. All through the trailers ("Man we HAVE to watch Finding Dory when it comes out, little kids be damned) and the annoying ads (But why Tinker bell? It could've have been Peter Pan or even Captain Hook could it?") he talked and provided a distraction while the movie was warming up. Then when the movie started ("Finally!) he snuggled up to his best friend and watched him the entire movie. He knew his friend's types of comfort and when he needed to give them. Right now Dick was begging for a distraction. Usually he's begging for someone to talk to about them but right now he just wants to be distracted. Around about the time Meredith wins the competition for her hand in marriage Alfred walks in, carrying a tray of cookies and Hot Chocolates. He then left and Bruce walked in already in business attire. He held Dick's gaze and Wally tried to interfere their conversation but he thinks he got it wrong.

_I could stay home _

_Nah I've got Wally _

_They were good parents Dick, really ate those nuggets_

At this point Wally gave up on reading them. He had a bird to comfort. They went through Brave, Mulan, Snow White, Frozen (Where Wally sang all the songs- badly) and Tangled before Dick asks if they could dee them now. Of course by them he was talking about his parents graves and Wally instantly agreed and they both set off for the old graveyard. After saying their bad-byes they walked back silently. Dick told him a few memories that he has of them here and there. They went back and Wally cheered him up considerably by accidentally recording himself run into a tree. they put it up on their youtube channel and sat up in their cubby house. Wally started telling him all these heroic stories about himself and Dick believe them all bullshit (they were). They then started watching absolutely ridiculous shows (The dress is right, My big Fat Gypsy Wedding, Keeping up with the Kardashians) and calling out stupid comments (Kim Kardashian crying in the background- "Me.", "No no Re that dress looks horrible, doesn't fit your curves at all"). By the end of the day Wally ran home and fell to his bed exhausted. Man cheering up friends is hard work.

**Dick:** Thank you

But it's worth it


	21. Babysitting

**Babysitting**

Artemis and Wally were the majority of people that weren't good at babysitting. At least the first time. But after looking after Lian while Jade was getting Roy back into shape they were unofficially dubbed as the gods of babysitting. Or God and Goddess. But as stated before it wasn't always that way. To tell it right we have to go back to the first time Lian was dropped off at Artemis' and Wally's door.

Artemis was feeling shitty. She was on her period (Yes even heroes get them) and had cramps and a headache. And just to top it all off she had to hand in a paper tomorrow about Newton's laws. At the time it seemed like a good idea to take a class to understand what Wally was talking about half the time (and because he took Viennese for her) but she understood jack shit. She was cooking dinner, deciding to procrastinate until Wally came home from his last lecture when she heard a noise. Contrary to popular belief she didn't stop being so damn paranoid when she hooked up the uniform so she grabbed a knife and spun around to find Chersire on her windowsill.

"Jade?"

"Look I've got to go sis, so I'll make this quick. Don't try to attack me because I'm holding a baby. I will still kick your ass but if the baby comes to any harm I would hold you responsible."

"You're holding a ba- You stole a baby!"

"Well actually…"

Five minutes later Artemis was holding her niece in disgust. Talk about too much information. Jade had left a baby bag with her and was long gone while Artemis cooed the small baby wondering what the hell she was going to do. Yet she smiled down at her sleeping niece as she slowly opened her eyes

"Oh aren't you so cute- gah! Why are you crying?" True to her word Lian was bawling her eyes out and screaming at the top of her lungs. Nelson came patting to the room to see what was going on but soon yelped, covered his poor ears and ran. Artemis sighed as she watched her dog ran out. So much for being man's best friend-

"The most loyal animal!" She screamed over Lian's and she panicked and starting ripping through Jade's baby bag. What she first came across were some toy swords. Internally sighing at Jade's antics she put the toys back but figured the baby wanted a toy. She got up, Lian still carefully in her arms and ran over to Nelson's bed trying to find a toy he hadn't already chewed up. Nelson yelped at her and she tried putting a cat head plushy on Lian's belly (it did no good).

"You've grown out of toys Nelson, shh!" She told the dog as she threw the toy down and stomped back over to the baby bag. Next thing she pulled out was nappies. _Maybe she has shit herself, _Artemis thought, ears ringing from the screaming.

One problem. Artemis didn't know how to change a diaper. The flaps and wipes and it was oh so confusing. Instead she decided to put her pride away and skype a friend.

"Artemis, you realize time zones make in 3am here in Gotham."

"Shut up Grayson I need your help. HELP ME!"

"Why did you steal a baby?"

"I didn't steal a bab- Help me she won't stop crying and I think it's because she shit herself."

"Okay you are gonna have to explain yourself though. Last time I checked you were still on the pill."

"I will ex- stop going through our stuff. Goddamit. How do I change this." To this she held up the baby.

"So you and Wally did have a baby together. She has your eyes. And his hair. His nose. Your shape of face. Not so sure about the clothes though. Doesn't seem like your style to dress a baby in assassin's clothes. Huh. How'd you hide the pregnancy so well? Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant. Or was it an out of the uterus baby. Those things always creep me out."

"Dammit Dick it's Jade's now would you help me change my nieces nappy?"

"Alright jeez. Lay the baby out on a nice, comfortable smooth surface, might want to put a towel or something under her, unless you want shit on your couch. Yeah like that, make sure the baby is entertained. Go grab a toy or something. So Jade had a baby, huh, would have to be with a ginger because knowing your family genes-"

He suddenly cut off and Artemis looked up from trying to soothe Lian in panic. Dick Grayson never stops talking. Something's wrong. Dick had gone completely pale and his eyes were the widest she had seen them in a while. Jaw slacked she knew was a perfect face of surprised. And since nothing surprised the bats she wanted to know what was it that had him looking like a cartoon.

"Dick?"

Dick locked eyes with her. "I knew the nose was familiar and I assumed it was Wally's. But it's not is it. It's Roy's. That's Roy's baby. I've got to go." He said and ended the call.

"Wait! DICK! I still have to change it- DICK!" She started swearing in Vietnamese at her computer and of course Wally decided this would be the best time to come home.

"Hey honey I'm home" He sung and normally she would laugh at his antics but right now all she saw was red. How was she going to explain this to Wally? "Babe?" Wally ask as he zoomed to the living room. Artemis look up, her face pained and the baby still in her hands.

"Oh shit!" Was his brilliant response. Artemis nodded. Wally looked at the baby, then at her, then at the baby, then at his reflection. "It's not ours." Artemis said when she figured out what he was doing. She then sighed, "It's my sister's."

Wally looked gob smacked. "Your sister- Your assassin sister who always threatens to cut off my balls if I get you pregnant _is a mother._" He whispered the last part like how a child would when they're not sure of an answer in class. _Just wait until you figure out who the father is, _she thought. But she pushed that thought aside for now and summoned her most pitiful look, "Do you know how to change her?" Wally looked up at her expression and his became one of determination. "Yeah babe, give her here." Artemis watched in amazement as Wally-somewhat- changed her niece. She thought he might've put it on backwards but she was not one to complain. Finally, Lian was changed and she was happily gurgling at Wally since Artemis decided to take it upon her to trash the soiled nappy. Artemis walked back inside to witness a very pure sight. Wally was cradling Lian and softly singing to her (even though his voice wasn't the best it was lulling). His eyes were soft as he looked down at her while she trying reaching up and grabbing his hair (which probably looked like fire or something equally exciting to her). She sighed as she looked at them both, for one second pretending that they were years in the future and Wally was cradling a child of they own. She sighed again, and Wally heard and turned to her. She smiled at him and his cheeks burned bright red, which seemed to make Lian happy as she giggled again.

And then Wally said the words that shattered it. "The father is Roy isn't it?"

Slowly she took Lian from Wally's arms and nodded. Wally nodded too. She knew it wasn't that long ago that they failed to talk to Roy. She smiled down at Lian "Wally I got some good news out of this though." He looked up at her and she only continued to smile at Lian. "Jade's working with Roy- she's fixing him. She said that showing Lian to Roy really snapped him into place and now she's returning him to his former glory." Wally looked in shock. She suppose it was a lot to take in. She decided to make a joke for him, "And the beard's gone." He looked up into her eyes and let out a small chuckle on her behalf. Then his eyes returned to Lian. "Can I- Can I hold her again." Artemis didn't know Wally was a sucker for babies but she held out Lian for Wally to hold again. Because he really did look cute. Until Lian started crying.

And what happened next Artemis will never let Wally forget. He drops her. He drops the baby. Only from a lifetime of heroing and fast reflexes does Artemis managed to catch Lian before she hits the ground. Straightening up, Lian still crying in her arms Artemis almost laughs at Wally's face. "I just dropped a baby." He said and then she started laughing. "I just dropped a baby" His face was still horrified and she continued to laugh and he sunk into the couch and put his head in his hands still muttering how he dropped a baby.

It took hours, _hours, _until Lian fell asleep. She cried the whole time which drove both Artemis and Wally up the wall. The couple of hours that she was crying there was many fights between the two, a noise complaint and some of the kids from the neighborhood thought it would be funny to slide condoms under the door. But Lian finally calmed falling asleep in between Artemis and Wally. Wally feel asleep before his head hit the pillow but Artemis stayed up, finishing her essay and watching the two. She could really see it. Her and Wally having a baby together. It shocked her though. Growing up with her childhood she never bothered to think about the future. Well of course her and Wally have talked about the future but never kids. She never realized how much she wanted one until now staring at the two peaceful bodies next to her. Now she thought about it she was drawn to triplets. She could imagine them now. Two little boys and a girl. The girl and one boy having Wally's thick hair but her eyes and the last boy having her hair but Wally's brilliant emeralds. Would they have super speed? Probably. Three little blurs whizzing around the house. Wally would teach them how to slow down and she would teach them how to shoot. Would they go into the heroing business? Could she let them go into the heroing business?

Artemis realized she was thinking way too much into this and decided just to go to sleep. She could finish her paper in the morning anyways. For now she just threw her papers off her bed and laid down next to Wally, Lian squeezed in-between them.

Artemis woke up in the morning like she would any morning. Cuddled up in Wally's arms. Except one difference. "Wally" She asked quietly.

"Mmmmhmmm."

"Why is there vomit on our bed."

"Because the baby vomited so I cleaned her up."

"Wally."

"Mmmmmm babe?"

"Are you sure you brought the baby back with you."

"Positive… why?"

"The baby is missing!"

Wally shot up like someone had told him that there was a free all you can eat buffet.

"The baby is missing?"

"Well she's not there is she."

"…shit."

So as it turns out Artemis did not finish that paper on Newton's laws. In fact she accidently missed the whole day. After a whole day of searching for her niece only late that night did she notice the note on the kitchen table. She called Wally over from where he was checking under the couch for the 7th time. The note read:

_Surprising good job at taking care our my daughter. Although next time it would be nice if you actually fed her. _

Artemis actually screamed out loud. "You know what that means right?"

Wally looked at her terrified, "Yeah, there's gonna be another time."

"No you idiot, we forgot to fed the fucking baby."

Eventually they got the hang of it. They certainly reminded to feed Lian.


	22. Wally's and Dick's texts

**Okay so some of this is mine an****d the rest is from tumblr**

* * *

**Wally**: "Dick why are you calling it's like... 5am! Dude!"

**Dick**: "I'm sitting in a pool of blood"

**Wally**: "... is it... your blood?"

**Dick**: "Yes I think so"

**Wally**: "Hold up I'm coming. Where is the blood coming from?"

**Dick**: "Probably the stab wounds"

**Wally**: "You've been stabbed?!"

**Dick**: "Oh ya definitely"

* * *

**Wally**: I've got a masters degree in being ignored

**Wally**: ...

**Wally**: DONT IGNORE ME

**Dick**: I'M GETTING MIXED SIGNALS HERE

* * *

**Dick**: Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse the firstborn suddenly I'm a jerk

**Wally**: you are a jerk

* * *

**Wally**: Cheater

**Dick:** Will you get over that?

**Wally**: YOU CHEATED. I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST THIS FRIENDSHIP BUT YOU CHEATED. YOU CHEATED YOUR ASS OFF.

**Dick**: It was Jenga how could I cheat

**Wally**: You suggested a weak point to me and then blow on an angle and it came crashing down

* * *

**Dick**: You could say that the definition of a cannibal is someone fed up with someone else

**Wally**: ...

**Wally**: I GUESS

* * *

**Wally**: I have a unique art style

**Wally**: it's called 'I tried'

**Dick:** No it's called 'I recreated my uncle's experiment and gain superspeed and I do not have the patience to even try for longer than 3 seconds'

**Dick**: or IRMUEAGSAIDNHTPTETFLT3S for short

* * *

**Dick**: So I just watched Civil War

**Wally**: ...that isn't...

**Wally**: has that even been filmed yet

**Dick**: And...

**Wally**: NO SPOILERS

**Dick**: I love the little subtle hints of a romance brewing between Scarlet Witch and Vision in Age of Ultron!

Makes me excited for when Avengers 3 comes out and it's revealed that Vision has a family he never mentioned at all and Scarlet Witch falls in love with Thor for some reason.

**Wally**: dude

* * *

**Wally**: '"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH THE GREEKS AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"

"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"

"oh rad bring it in"'

**Dick:** Or as I like to call it 'the murderous piñata

* * *

**Wally**: Everyone in this universe is either a potato or not a potato

**Dick**: ...

**Dick**: I GUESS

* * *

**Dick: **I can almost always tell when the movie doesn't use real dinosaurs

* * *

**Wally: **Sorry just got your text now, do you still need to go to the hospital

* * *

**Wally: **Spelling Bee would be so much less lame if the kids said 'to the' between each of the letters

**Dick: **BRB

* * *

**Wally: **DUDE I JUST SAW IT ON THE NEWS DID YOU REALLY DO MY IDEA?!

**Dick:** And I won too

**Wally: **You've started a trend in my school

* * *

**Wally: **Genie: And your third wish?

Me: slamming down my fork after finishing my second cheesecake: Take a wild guess bubby

* * *

**Dick: **So today Barbara was away

**Dick: **And we had an English substitute

**Dick: **And I got a dentition

**Dick: **And then I got kidnapped

**Wally: **Oh complain, complain, complain

**Wally: **You know when life gives you lemons…

**Dick: **I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE LEMONS

* * *

**Dick: **I'm

**Dick: **not

**Dick: **even

**Dick: **a

**Dick: **double

**Dick: **texter

**Dick: **I'm

**Dick: **a

**Dick: **decatexter

**Dick: **like

**Dick: **I'll

**Dick: **impulsively

**Dick: **send

**Dick: **10

**Dick: **separate

**Dick: **texts

**Dick: **instead

**Dick: **of

**Dick: **fitting

**Dick: **it

**Dick: **all

**Dick: **into

**Dick: **one

**Dick: **who's

**Dick: **gonna

**Dick: **try

**Dick: **and

**Dick: **stop

**Dick: **me

**Wally: **Pls stop

* * *

**Wally: **'No homo' is probably the most disappointing to hear sometimes like no homo? Not at all? Not even a little homo?

**Dick: **Everyone is a little bit homo


	23. Short stories

**Short stories**

* * *

Training was Batman's excuse for most things. For example:

The game had been going on for too long. After Red Hood had been drenched on a mission and deemed with a fatal fever, he went to the only place he knew would take him and look after him; home. Damien had found him under all the blankets after he had been treated and insulted the older bird saying how he was delicate and an imbecile. That triggered the idea and soon after Damien was accidentally locked into a shower with no way to escape and negative degrees water. After nearly killing Jason three times over with his hidden swords and being banned from being close to him, Damien resolved to the next best thing, hurting Tim. And by hurting Tim he, on purpose (he admitted it), pushed Tim into the Gotham docks in the middle of winter. When someone held they're hand out to help Tim out, Tim - freezing cold and blinded by rage- pull the person in with him. The person was not Damien like he had expected but Dick. And that's what how the war started.

How it ended was one of the best stories the Justice League ever tells. It all started when Alfred decided he needed to go shopping because Jason had eaten most the food so Bruce had to look after Tim and Dick, who were recovering from their dip in the Gotham Docks. But Batman had to attend a meeting so he decided just to hologram call from the Batcomputer. All was going well and boring for a good ten minutes before things on his side of the call got out of hand. Jason was on one side of the Batcave training and Damien was on the other side of the Batcave training, Tim had decided he needed to finish an assignment on school and Dick was needed to represent the Young Justice team at the meeting.

It's better off if the story is told from a point of view from the other side of the call.

The Flash was bored. This meeting were boring. He thought he could count on the Batboys to somehow humour him but apparently he was wrong.

That was until a flying knife was threw from one side of the Batcave to the other.

"Oi you fuckwit-" an angered voice called from the side that the knife had disappeared to.

"Swearing jar Red Hood." Nightwing called out in a bored tone. He held out a massive vase that was filled to the brim with coins and notes. A knife thrown from where Red Hood apparently was came and shattered the glass vase in Nightwings hand, sending money everywhere. Nightwing hissed as he cradle his bloodied hand into his chest. Many of the newer, fresher Justice League members watched on in horror as Batman kept droning on about the updates needed to be done to the monitor duty rooster. The elder member simply watched on with smiles as Nightwing promptly excused himself, stood and walked over to Red Hood and punched him right in the jaw. Some heroes gasped and gawped as Red hood tackled Nightwing to the floor. Nightwing cried out in pain as Red Hood clawed at his injured hand and suddenly a figure dropped right in front of the two fighting heroes.

"Unhand him at once Hood or I will shove this knife so far up your ass-"

"Swear jar Robin." On the other side of the video call the Flash was finding it humourous to watch the new members gawp at Red Robin who seemed not a bit put off by his fighting brothers but still working on his laptop. That was until the knife in Robins hand found itself lodged into Red Robins screen. Red Robin screamed enough swear words to land $100 in the swear jar before realising.

"I didn't save it." This lead to a full out war with all the boys. The Batman literally growled when his voice was lost in the mix of all four boys and started typing his message on the Bat Computer but otherwise did nothing about his fighting sons.

All of a sudden everyone froze. The Flash thought the computer had frozen for a second until he heard the voice.

"What is going on here Master Batman?" The Batkids ran off to different sides of the room, scrambling to not be caught near each other. This soon found Red Hood at the chair that Nightwing had recently sat at, Nightwing throwing knifes at a target, Red Robin punching a punching bag and Robin looking exasperated at a laptop that had a knife through the screen.

"Training." Was Batmans gruff reply

* * *

Damian was taken out of patrol last night to get some sleep and look after Titus who had to have stitches for an adjoined kidnapping with him gone wrong. So Nightwing and Red Hood went in for him with Batman and Red Robin. Damian woke up that morning to an interesting sight. Bruce was sitting up like normal, with his head slumped down, loud snores echoing throughout the lounge room. Tim was laying across Bruce's lap, his chest on Bruce's legs, his feet up in the air, his arm off the couch. Jason was the reason as Tim feet were up because he was sitting were Tim's feet would go and he had Tim's legs on his shoulders. Dick was half laying on the head board of the couch, each breath drawing him more over the edge until Damian was sure he was defying physics and gravity. They were all still in uniform with the cowls drawn back. They weapons were scattered across the ground beneath them in addition to Jason's helmet. Damian smirked at his brothers and father. Piled on to one another they looked strangely innocent. Still smirking he grabbed the remote and sat down in front of Bruce, leaning on his legs.

"It seems that it was a busy night last night. Not only the Joker and Harley Quinn but Killer Croc and Poison Ivy rampaged the city last night. It took the efforts of Batman, Red Robin, Nightwing and the police force to get them back under control." Damian snorted at the last one and the fact that they had left out Red Hood. He then snugly fitted himself on the ground next to Bruce's feet and change the channel to Disney.

* * *

The Young Justice all just lounged around in the... well lounge. Robin was laying on the back while Kadur, Conner and M'gann all were sitting on the actual couch. Artemis and Wally were both sitting on the ground their heads leaning on the couch. M'gann was flipping through fan videos of them. Them as a team, them as individuals, them as couples and them with their mentors. They had already been through the Flash being an overprotecting mentor, Green Arrow's and Artemis' funniest fails, how Superboy managed to accidentally flip off an entire crowd of spectators, Miss Matian's late night spotting of grabbing Oreos from Walmart and Aqualad's speech about the freedom of fish that he once harassed a poor fisherman about. Now they were trying to find an embarrassing video of Robin. It wasn't that hard- there were millions of them. No the hard part is finding one they hadn't seen yet. M'gann finally came across one called 'Batman and Robin's greatest TV presenter mishaps of all time'.

"Well what you waiting for sweet cheeks? Put it on." Wally said. She did and Robin groaned. He hated how they took joy in his fails. Just because he had been on the field for the longest.

The words Fatman came on the bottom in the screen before a scene came up. A big, happy looking man came on the TV, holding a microphone with a younger looking Robin- perhaps ten years old- standing next to him and the building behind slowly collapsing.

"So Fobin," the big man started, but his speech was slurred as if he had a accent. Or was extremely drunk, "you faved the day once fagian."

Robin was trying not to laugh, anyone could tell. "Yes the building was evacuated." He said in a composed voice.

"And Fobin, could you flease tell us where Fatman is."

Robin burst out laughing. He kept laughing even when Batman dropped down, picked him up and slung him over his shoulder. Just as Batman was running away the cameras picked up Robins voice. He spoke in a high shrill. "Oh Fatman you've come to save me. Oh Fatman how ever shall I repay you. Oh Fatman..." Slowly his voice disappear as the camera turned back the the extremely drunk big TV presenter. "Well fhere you fave it folks, Fatman and Fobin."

The whole team started laughing but stopped instantly as the next video started. Wally leaned back to Robin," How long were you grounded for that one?"

Robin replied in a bitter voice, "I had to clean the Batcave."

The word Sir came on the bottom of the screen and Robin groaned again. Because he knew this one.

An eight year old looking Robin was walking across the street, whispering quickly and quietly, obviously to the person in his ear piece. He looked across the road as he crossed but still had to flip out of the way when a car come zooming past. He shot the car a dirty look and continued on. Once he reached the other side of the road, still whispering in his ear piece a women came running up to him with the camera following. Once up close they heard the words, "But Batman it was an accident." Then a pause followed by, "Yes, how can you not believe that I accidentally took the Bat Mobile out for a spin then lose it? It's happened to you before." His words suddenly cut off as he saw the woman. Panting from her ran, she faced the camera. "Hello ladies and gentleman, this is Kendall Swan from the 7 News. And today's topic is our beloved little Robin. What are you doing Robin?"

Robin was pale and looked fearfully at the camera. "I'm looking for the Bat Mobile." He squeaked out, looking very uncomfortable.

"Has Batman left you?" The woman asked.

"No, no sir- I mean madam- I mean Miss- I mean I have to go." With that he shot a grabber line and shot up to the top of the building.

"Okay that was the first time I ever talked to a TV presenter with out Batman. Do you know how scary it was?" The whole team laughed. They all spent the afternoon there, watching Robin and Dick Grayson videos which is shockingly entertaining.

* * *

Nightwing was on babysitting duty. With Bruce taking a long needed break he was posing as Batman again and Alfred just pawned Tim and Damian to him. Logically thinking Dick instantly said a day at the cave would be nice. Nothing to break, friends to keep them in line and different people to interact with. But Damian had never been to the cave before. Sure everyone knew about- some even met him- but Dick didn't want to put pressure on the little guy. So as soon as they donned on their uniforms Damian crawled under Dicks cloak and wrapped his arms around his legs. He didn't partically want to interact.

The whole day Batman walked around with some sort of limp and everyone assumed it was some kind of battle injury that comes with the job but it's just Robin hiding underneath Batman's cape being antisocial

* * *

Some bad guys were actually pretty kind to the Bat kids- NOT the Batman but the bat kids.

Like when Poison Ivy saved Damian's life.

It was almost pathetic how easily she took them all down. It was like she didn't even try. They were going fine until Robin got stabbed. Then it was a game of keep away with a very unwilling ball. Nightwing studied Robin hard now. All five of them were hanging upside down from vines which had taken all their belts and boots and such. Batman was completely untouched except for a few leafs in his hair, Red Robin had a couple of scratches- nothing bad- Red Hood had a big scratch up his arm and his left shoulder was hanging limply but was swearing at Ivy so ultimately okay. But Robin was hanging there limply, blood oozing out of his stab wound and turning paler by the minute. Nightwing had tried to think of any plan that would help but all he could think of was Jason's funeral. Out of all options he turned to Ivy who was simply petting her plant and watching them all. "Ivy- Ivy my brother- he's dying- I can't- I can't lose another one." Ivy looked shocked but she studied Robin noticing the puddle of blood watering her plants. "Oh I like this one- he's always nice to nature, especially animals but I can change that. Hmmm," she seem to ponder what to do before waving her hand and dropping Nightwing harshly. He quickly stood up as she gently guided Robin into his arms. The vines lingered a little while longer before unwrapping him. Then a path cleared through the maze right to the Batmobile. She then continued, "You better bring him back alive. Until next time Wing." She waved him off and he nodded at Batman. Once Robin's life has been saved he'll come back to help.

Or the one baddie that didn't even bother.

Coming home to all four of the Bat boys scowling at you would be pretty intimidating, Brad guessed. He sighed as he put his bag of groceries down. He suppose they were here for information. He does one drug bust and suddenly he's a target. He reminded himself just to get a loan next time. They were still all scowling at him. The one with the Hood- Red Hood was it?- was sitting on his desk twirling two pens around his fingers at a rate that made Brad's head hurt. One of them was sitting in Brad's chair at his desk fingers flying over his keyboard. That was was Red Robin Brad reckoned because he looked like a bird but the Robin was the small one. Brad silently prayed that he hadn't been looking up porn last. Nightwing was standing behind the chair with his arms crossed. That boy he remember, he saved his life once. Lastly was the little one who had a bandage around his waist with his arms crossed to cover it. "Are you fit for the field yet sonny?" Brad asked Robin and the glares only got harder. "Alright, okay, yeah yeah, I know I know, you're here for information." Brad looked up for confirmation and Nightwing nodded once and deeply. "Umm I don't remember where they said it'll be but it'll come back soon!" He said that last part in a rush with his hands thrown out because Red Hood just shifted as if he was going to jump up and hurt him. When he didn't Red Hood smirked and Nightwing motioned him to go on. "Yeah, ummm, they said the deal was inbetween the Cat and the Penguin-"

"Why is Catwomen in on it? And Penguin too?" Red Robin thought out loud.

"Nah The Cat and The Penguin not Catwoman and Penguin. Completely different." The Red Hood said. When given a questioning look he sighed and went on, "Some groups have been naming themselves after Villains to cause this type of confusion. I'll show you the files later." Robin then gave the 'go on' gesture.

"Well I know it's happening at the docks, round the part where that one nasty fight went down last week but that's as far as I was told I swear."

Nightwing nodded once then smiled brightly. "Thanks." He said with enthusiasm.

"Now," Nightwing continued, looking onto Robin, "go home. You were only allowed for the interrogation."

"But he didn't even fight back!" Robin growled back.

Brad snorted, "As if I would fight one of you alone, let alone all four of you. Wanna a cookie?" He offered to the small one. Surprising he took it but gave it the the other small one still sitting at the computer chair. "Anyways we better go, thanks for the information," Nightwing said as he open the window and pushed the small and smaller one out of it. The Red Hood went next and Nightwing winked at Brad then jumped himself, "byyyyyyyeeeeeeeeee." He called out the window. Brad snorted, only in Gotham.

* * *

Jason had just woken up from a nightmare. Little shits they are. He may or may not have been sobbing when his door cracked open. To his utter surprise it wasn't Dick that walked in but Damian. He walked straight up to Jason and crawled into his lap. Jason stiffen in surprise, had Dick really taught this boy to love in the short time that he had seen him last?

"Grayson has just been put to sleep Todd so I require you to calm down." Any other day Jason would have strangled the kid but that night he realise that that meant that he was here for him. All of a sudden feeling the urge for my human contact Jason scooped the little boy up, held him in his arms and and laid back down. In his arms Damian was little a medium sized teddy. Damian tutted but relaxed into his embrace. In seconds the ankle biter was asleep. Jason snorted. So much for the 'I'm the bad, unpredictable guy so you should sleep with one eye open' thing. Jason realised he may need to rename that. But he understood what the gesture meant. He was trusted. And somehow that thought banished the images of the joker and washed away the sounds of his screams and vanished the the feeling of waking up in a coffin. Snuggling more into the tiny boy he smile into his hair.

He woke up the next morning to an empty bed but he understood.


	24. Prom

**Prom**

It took months of begging, but Wally finally got Artemis to go to his prom. His arguments ranged from 'To keep all the girls off the Wallman' to 'To prove to my friends that you existed'. Nevertheless, what finally convinced (read forced) her was when he (purposefully) blurted out the idea to her mum, who instantly wanted her daughter to go after Artemis completely shut down the idea of going to her own prom. Now Wally was suited up (in an actual suit) and was waiting for Artemis to come out of her room to go. Artemis had compromised the request by stating that if she were to go they would get ready and return to the Mountain. Therefore, there was no parents and photos. Unfortunately for her, she forgot about the overly excited Martian who happens to live there, alongside fashionista Magician. They had all three been locked up in Artemis' room for the whole afternoon and during that time many weird things were heard such as 'I am NOT wearing those' 'Oh come on, everyone knows what happens after Prom, it's tradition', 'Honestly Artemis, if you're not gonna wear my heels, you're better off going barefoot', 'Now don't drink the punch or eat the berry cakes, trust me, been there done that' and Wally's personal favorite, 'Ah for fuck's sake Artemis, NO WEAPONS.'. He wished he could say it was a cliché from a movie where they're running late and she comes out of her room and everybody is shocked especially him and he twirls her around and says some smooth comment and she laughs and kisses him. Unfortunately, no such thing happened. When the door opened it wasn't Artemis that stepped out but Zatanna complaining about Artemis whining. Then M'gann who somehow had gotten makeup all over her skin, standing out on her green tone. Finally the door opened for the last time and Artemis scuttled out, looking very annoyed with the fact that she's even doing this. Again Wally wished it had been like a cliché but all he did was stare at her. Because she looked beautiful.

Her dress was true to her culture. High collar, long green sleeves, long green dress itself, a split on each side up past her hip to reveal a white long skirt underneath, the entire dress patterned with gold symbols. Her hair was pulled back into a braid and Wally silently thanked M'gann for however long that would've taken. And he couldn't help butbealittleturnedonbyher because…wow. She held out her arms with a little shrug of the shoulders which seem to say 'Now are you happy?'. Yes, yes he was. She looked stunning. And try as he might he could not form any words to tell her so. So he just stood there, staring dumbly at her as she tried to warrant a response from him.

He was sad to report that it took him ten minutes to recover from his shock and form whole sentences. And now they were really running late. They managed to get there just as the photo crew were packing up. Unfortunately, they had already put away all their cameras but one of the ladies felt bad for them so she set up one of the smaller cameras to take their photo and gave them a USB that contain it. She then winked at the couple and left with the rest of the crew. Once they got inside it was packed. The dance floor was buzzing and the band was playing. There was a teacher positioned at the punch bowl, obviously to make sure no one spiked it but an a student came out from under the table behind the teacher and poured two whole flaks in. The student looked over at them and waved while Artemis did a double take. "Is that Dick?"

Wally waved back at his friend, "…yes."

Dick approached while Artemis looked up at him with her eyebrows raised. "And why would Dick Grayson be at your Prom."

Wally smiled at the story, grabbed Artemis' hand with one hand and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck with the other. "Well a while back he enrolled here for an undercover mission. People just think he is an on again, off again student. Sometimes he comes by for the day and we wreak havoc upon the school. By the way here he goes by William Smith."

"How do people not notice that he is Dick Grayson."

"Oh I hide in plain sight. The school website has a page dedicated to the conspiracy that I'm Dick Grayson. Of course I'm the one that writes most of the theories on there." Dick had arrived, smirking and winking at any of the ladies looking at him- most of them dancing with their partners. "Anyways," Dick clapped his hands together, "I've spike the punch, ensured the power to go out twice and paid the band to swear as much as humanely possible even if it's not the lyrics of the songs. You too love birds have fun, I'm going to go find me a date."

Wally turned to Artemis once he was gone, "May I have this dance?" He asked, offering his hand (That wasn't already in his hand) and bowing down.

"Hmmm," Artemis smirked, "No I think I prefer creepy dude sitting by the punch over there that is eyeing me." Wally turned to the direction she was facing, "Earl? Babe come on seriously? That's a low blow. Seriously Earl?" She laughed and pulled him the edge of the mass on the dance floor.

They dance and dance, jumping around, swirling their bodies, laughing and ignoring the world. But like all Proms eventually a slow song comes on. Artemis wrapped her arms around Wally's shoulders and nuzzled her head into his neck while he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her forehead. "You know," Artemis says, her words muffled against his skin, swaying with him, "This almost makes me want to go to my prom. Almost" She repeats after seeing his expression, "Wally almost, not really, get that idea out of your head." Wally shrugged, feigning innocence as he looked over at her head at the other couples. "Wow, Harry has really put on some weight to full out his suit."

She laughs, "Where?" They spin so she can see. She laughs again, "Wow, Becca really went all out this year, are those pasta pieces she wove into her dress?" They spun again so Wally could see and he made another comment about another article of clothing and so on and so forth until it was a game between to two as to who could pick out the most faults before they spin again. Artemis won with her keen eyes and sent Wally for snacks while they sat down.

By the end of the night Wally had Artemis laughing until her sides ached. Most of the time they spent dancing but there were brief periods of time when they had breaks and watched everyone. Especially the drunk teachers who had still believed that the punch was cleaned. They did not go home to the Mountain like Artemis compromised they would but Wally dropped a drowsy Artemis home, having to walk her to her room to make sure she just there. He might of-accidently- have given a cup of punch to her during the night. Let's just say she wouldn't exactly pass a breath test if the cops pulled them over. He gently put her down on her bed after having to carry her up to her apartment and then into her room. "God dammit Artemis." He whispered as she shifted, her dress straining. Knowing this dress was a gift from her sister and therefore important to her Wally carefully stripped it off of her then finding the most comfortable clothes (also finding several of his shirts he hadn't even known had gone missing) he could, he dressed her and tucked her in, smiling down at her. Gently kissing her forehead he walked towards the door, with every intention of going home and pigging out on pizza. But just as his hand reached for the door handle he heard Artemis shift behind him, "Wally?" She sounded drowsy but aware.

"Right here babe." He said turning towards her.

"Stay." Was all she said. And that is what he did. Kicking off his shoes and jacket he shuffled in under the blankets in her ridiculously small bed and fell asleep, content with her in his arms.


	25. Babies

**Babies**

Surprisingly it was Dick that guessed it. When Artemis fell pregnant the League- like it usually did- made bets. There were bets on how many there were(Conner won that one after randomly blurting that Artemis had three heartbeats). There were bets on whether the twins were going to be identical or not, boy and girl, girl and girl, boy and boy, what hair, whose eyes. But the most important question was whether they would have super speed or not. Wally hoped so. Artemis hoped not. But on August 3rd when Artemis had her two babies the League begrudgingly handed their money to Nightwing who guess that the twins would in fact be two boys, have Artemis' hair colour but Wally's thickness, Wally's eyes and DID in fact have superspeed. Which meant not only did Artemis breastfeed but they needed an addition of two more bottles of milk. The first week- month- hell year- was hell. The boys- respectively named Barry and Aaron ("NO WE ARE NOT NAMING OUR CHILDREN DASH AND SPEED DAMMIT WALLY")- woke up at all hours of the night, respecting no sleep schedule and would not calm down unless BOTH parents were rocking them back to sleep. Dick, after visiting them once and seeing the eyebags, the rumpled clothes and the distinct 'No the house hasn't been cleaned in weeks," smell, decided to help. He made camp on the couch and clean the house throughly, making the unwanted trips up the stairs to calm the boys down at 3am in the morning ("Dammit you boys are worst than Tim on drugs and that's an impressive feat"). Surprisingly Dick turned out to be a great babysitter and in no time the boys were sleeping to a pattern, only needing one parent to go to sleep, and they loved Dick. Wally was personally jealous but Artemis counting it as a miracle. But, of course, Dick had his own needs and couldn't stay long. Which made 'Uncle Dick's' visits so special.

Age 1.

The twins laid contently in Artemis' arms while she sat on Wally's lap, leaning on his chest having fallen asleep hours ago. Wally was reading the twins a book and always chuckled when one would 'talk' in their weird baby language and the other would converse back. Suddenly Aaron started wildly 'talking' and clapping his hands together. Looking up Wally realised why. "Oh hey Santa Claus." He causally said to Dick, who indeed was dressed up in a big red suit and had a full sack over his shoulder. "Merry Christmas," Wally yawned, glancing at the time, "Isn't Santa meant to have white hair and a beard." Dick smirked down at him, before dropping his 'sack of presents' onto the ground and picking up the now screaming for joy babies. Trusting Dick to look after them for a while, Wally picked up Artemis and carried her up the stairs to their bed. Giving her a sweet kiss on the forehead he left the room to find out what had happened to his offspring. Dick was sitting down and had them in his arms, rocking slowly. Wally smiled down at the sight. Between nappy changing, waking up at 2am and bottle feeding he hadn't had much time to realise that these were his children. He created these small people. Dick looked up at him and offered one- Barry- to him but he shook his head preferring just to sit and watch Dick do his magic. It wasn't even five minutes before both the boys were out, sleeping happily, clutching their Kid Flash and Robin (the first addition) teddies (Dick's Christmas present- Wally couldn't agree more) and drooling, which Wally was sad to announce was a trait from him not their mother. Wally grab Barry from Dick and carried him upstairs with Dick and Aaron trailing behind. Then him and Dick sat in front of the fire, content just to lean on one other. Dick broke the silence first.

"Barbara is pregnant." Wally was shocked but he knew why Dick told him, "You're gonna be a good parent, you know that right? I mean look at our boys. Superspeed and bossy but you handled them well. And if any trouble arising it'll have Uncle Wally and Aunt Artemis to look after it. Do you know what it is yet?" Dick look relieved at the speech but shook his head. They went back to silence.

"I want it to be a girl. My little princess. But I'm scared Wally. My-our- line of work isn't cut out for raising a child. What if I'm not able to survive next time a bomb explodes. What if next time the Joker comes to finishes the job he actually shoots her in the heart. What if-"

"Look man you're thinking about it too much. What if the whole of Gotham blew up. What if chickens kidnap the baby. What if you're long lost crazy great-aunt Margret turns up claiming it's her child." Dick groaned. "That was sarcastic. Look everything will turn out alright. Maybe start cutting back on your workload. Stop taking so many risks. Move back to Gotham. Don't let your dad go anywhere near the baby otherwise you'll have Robin no. 6." Dick heaved out a sighed. "I can't stop being Nightwing."

"I'm not asking you to. Once the boys have grown up Artemis and I are going back out as Huntress and Speedforce."

"Always hated that name."

"I know." Dick sighed again, slowly getting up. He smiled at his friend, a true smile, "Well I'll see you around."

"Yeah." Wally yawned, watching his friend climb out the window. Then he started slowly walking up the stairs. Passing by the boy's room he peaked inside the open door to find Aaron rolling over Barry stealing most the blanket on the way in their joint cradle. Wally sighed before moving in to the cradle, straightening the boys so they won't hurt their delicate bodies moving around at night. He then went to his bed to find an archer taking up all of the blanket. Wally sighed again, "He gets it from you." He accuses as he slips in under the blanket wrapping his arms around his wife.

Aged 2

Dick got his wish. Sophie Grayson was born on the 7th of June. She was an absolute delight. Seemingly receiving her fathers trait to please a crowd she's always the centre of attention, giggling and demanding affection. Every month she comes over for a play date with Aaron and Barry who have now learnt how to run. Now everything in the house is bolted down after the many disastrous attempts to run. Unfortunately because of their genetics Superspeed comes into play and therefore the boys must remain in the house until they have learnt how to control. Not because of Artemis and Wally being scared of the general public learning their secret but because they are afraid of the boys one second being beside them and the next out on the road in front of a truck. So in the house it was and sometimes, when that got too cramped or the causalities of Paula's Vietnamese Pots got too high, the mountain. The team always finds joy looking the ankle biters, always playing hide and go seek or tag. Nevertheless one play date with Sophie the boys run into each other, which was bad for them but Sophie find hilarious. Barbara and Dick laughed alongside their little girl as Wally and Artemis dove for a child each, to see the damage and to calm them down. Wally had to admit it was pretty funny. The boys weren't hurt at all just shocked. They were all too used to running into objects- especially walls. Then Dick's and Barbara's phones go off and their faces turn utterly serious. "It's the Joker again. Found another bomb. Is it alright if Sophie stays for a sleepover?" Barbara informs them. They nod, of course they would help. "Good, thank you. I've got her baby bag over here just in case. She'll be alright sleeping with the boys though. We'll be back as soon as this is taken care of." They nod and she pulls Sophie up upon her lap. "Hey darling, daddy and I are just going for a while but we'll be back soon. In the mean time Uncle Wally and Aunt Artemis are gonna look after you." Sophie look up at her mother, grabbing a strand of her recently cut hair. "We'll be back for you baby girl." Dick kissed her head and brought her over to Wally. Wally knew the look in his eyes. "You'll came back Dick. You always do." Dick gave a small, sad smile, nodded and wheel Barbara out of the house. Wally and Artemis with Sophie in their hands walked to the window to see a car pull up, Dick and Barbara get in and then the car speed off. If it was anyone else's baby, Sophie would've started crying immediately but she was fine. She must be used to being left behind. Kinda sad but ultimately worth it considering what happened to Lian. Speaking of which they hadn't seen her in ages.

That night they put the boys and Sophie to bed after making sure that they wouldn't hurt her by moving during the night- courtesy of the superspeed ensuring that they bodies must always be moving. Then Wally and Artemis sat down watching the latest news in Gotham. "-bank being robbed by the Riddler but in other news a new development has been found in the Batclan's fight against the Joker. After the surprise ambush from Harley Quinn that took Red Robin out, Nightwing is back on the scene. You know what that means people. Red Robin is okay. They say the fight is occurring in the Stathrust Park. The surrounding area had been evacuated. Footage is coming in now from our helicopter. Justine, what's going on down there?"

The screen switch to a young ladies tightly holding onto a rail and microphone, as the wind whips her hair and clothes. The scene of a park is beside her, out the open door of the helicopter.

"Well John the fight has been going on for over an hour now. Batman and the Red Hood are currently facing the Joker while Robin and Nightwing are going against Harley Quinn. Both sides are fighting ruthlessly and- down goes Harley Quinn courtesy of a kick to the face from Robin! Now the four of our beloved heroes are facing against the Joker and what's that? The Joker has pulled out a switch! I repeat the Joker has pulled out a switch! We can't see what's being said down there but there's no doubt the switch is to a bomb maybe even bombs, hidden across Gotham. We were right with the theory of bombs hidden across Gotham as the Batboys have split up and are traveling at amazing speed, no doubt to find and disarm the bombs while Batman is staying behind to fight the Joker. We currently have helicopters trailing the Batboys to report. Jordan, how's Robin going?"

The screen switch to a man, sweating heavily, the wind also roping at his clothes and hair. In true Gotham pollution style papers flew and hit his body because sliding off and flying away.

"Well Justine Robin has disappeared into the Wellfore Bank. We have seen glimpses of him through the windows and we can judge that he is on the second level, hopefully disarming the bomb. Ladies and Gentlemen it appears he was successful. We now witness Robin coming out of the roof and swinging to the next building, returning to the park. How's is Red Hood doing Josh?"

The screen cut to a hasty video of another man but it kept glitching.

"It appears-Jordon-technology problems-Red Hood- successful- returning now." Then the video cut out. The screen had gone back to Justine who was obviously listening to someone beyond the camera. "For the viewers who didn't catch that, Red Hood was successful at disarming his bomb." She informed the camera. "And now to Justin who was trailing after Nightwing. Justin?"

The screen changed to another man who was outside of the helicopter and on top of a roof looking over the docks.

"Yes Justine it appears the last bomb has lead our original Boy Wonder to the Western Docks. We've just witness him go into one of the warehouses and-" the screen was filled with flames and a defending explosion as a warehouse, knocking the camera down.

Wally was up in no time. Picking up Artemis' and his masks, not bothering with suits and but grabbing her bow. Finally he picked up her and sped over to the Western docks of Gotham. He might not arrived in time but he would be faster than anyone else. Once they reached there, he dropped off Artemis with the news crew to evacuate everyone to safety while he went to find Nightwing. He found him on the outskirts of the explosion gurgling blood. Once he saw Wally he grabbed onto Wally's shirt tightly.

"Tell her I love her." He said before going limp. Wally was unsure whether he meant Barbara or Sophie or both. The Batmobile suddenly sped into sight. Out jumped Robin and Red Hood. They tried to take Nightwing from him but he wouldn't have it. "I'm faster." He told them and sped into the Batcave. He dropped Nightwing in one of the beds, Blood still oozing out of the hole in his chest. Alfred and Barbara came hurrying over, desperately feeling for a heartbeat. He heard the roar of the Batmobile and sped out of there. He couldn't stay a moment longer. He picked up Artemis on the way, who was being harassed by the news crew. At home he refused to talk but stay awake all night waking his best friend's daughter.

Aged 4

"Tell me again," Sophie begged.

"Yeah," Aaron and Barry demanded, "Tell the story again. Again, again."

Wally sighed at the children. They've heard the story a million times. The only reason they want to hear it again is because Dick keeps changing the ending.

"Well," Dick said, smirking at Wally, "After you're daddy," he addressed the twins, " ditched me at the bed with a gaping hole in my chest, your mommy," he addressed his daughter, "kissed it all better. The End." Wally sighed because that is not what happened. After he left what he thought was a dead Dick on the bed in the Batcave Alfred and Barbara worked for weeks endlessly trying to fix him. He flatlined three times but after the first week they finally stabilised him. Somehow. During all that time they never told Wally, maybe afraid to get his hopes up. Wally and Artemis looked after Sophie for the weeks he spent in recovering, visiting every now and then. Finally Dick was all healed up and Sophie went back to her family. Despite his near death Dick still patrols as Nightwing, joining Huntress and Speedforce in Star City, Central City and even the easy side of Gotham. He took far less risks and always got home earlier. And he never stops teasing Wally about leaving him on that bed. Wally sighed at Dick's teasing glances. "Righto." He told the children. "I reckon your mummies have finished hiding all the eggs. Go!" He told them. Watching how his boys ran into the room, ran back out and then waited for Sophie who they knew was slower than them. The whole afternoon the two sets of parents watched and gave out tips as to where to find the eggs in the Wayne's backyard. It wasn't surprising when Uncle Damian joined in but he was mostly stealing the eggs out of the children's baskets to find them again so the game would last longer. "Training." He told the parents when they sent him questioning gazes. Eventually Sophie figured out what he was doing and constantly trailed him, knowing that where he was, there was bound to be eggs.

At the end of the day the kids all settled in their beds at the Wayne Mayor while the parents sat up with the rest of the residents.

Aged 6

Dick opened to the door to find Thing 1 and Thing 2- sorry, Aaron and Barry at his door. They seemed particularly upset about something so he let them in and made them food while they sat in front of the heater trying to escape the winter chills. Barbara was at work and Sophie was at school and baby Andrew (the newest addition to the family) was having a play date with Grandpa Bruce. "So what's up." He asked the boys, as he handed them plates of food. "Do you think, now that's mommy is pregnant, she'll forget about us?" Aaron spoke up. Dick was shocked. Yeah he knew about Artemis being pregnant but why would the boys think this. "No of course not." He told them, "We still care about Sophie even though we have Andrew. We love them both the same." The boys seemed relieved at that and without a goodbye, they got up and zoomed out of his door. He chuckled as he closed it. Then he answered the phone to a hysterical Artemis, assuring her that her boys were safe.


	26. Christmas

**Christmas**

Christmas was never the same with Damian. When Damian wasn't part of the family the Bat family would have a Brunch with Business Bruce, Lunch and afternoons with their respectable teams and Dinner with their Bruce. With opening the presents which start right after desert and usually take until they need to go out on patrol. With Damian it was a little different.

Like how he set up traps to catch Santa.

"I am not an idiot you imbecile," Damian stated proudly after Tim had asked what he wanted Santa to bring for Christmas, "I know that Santa doesn't exist. We have the records of every famous MetaHuman and there is no record of a fat one with immortality and super speed. It is a ridiculous trick."

Tim took a step back and raise his eyebrows with a bitten lip to keep from laughing.

"But what if we don't have his records because Batman has never caught him."

Damian opened his mouth to argued, closed it again, than finally spat out, "Santa Claus is NOT real!"

Dick, who was hanging the mistletoe (no one understood why he demanded to decorate on Christmas Eve but whatever) wearing the most Christmassy outfit (red sweatpants with green Santa faces, green shirt of Christmas trees, Christmas hat tilted slightly to the left, clown nose (for rudolf) and an apron of a portrait of Mrs Claus with batter remains still clinging to the edges) and singing carols, nearly fell off his ladder, shot Damian the most horrified look and exclaimed, "Santa Claus is real!" He turned to Tim for support.

"He's right Demon, Santa Claus is real."

Damian looked from one boy to the other then rushed off without a word. Dick got back to work while Tim stood there working out why he ran off. He always wanted the last word. What happened? Perhaps they had convinced him after all-

"Santa Claus is real right?" Tim rounded on his brother and with a small laugh nodded his head and went off to get some eggnog. The evening went without any problems which is surprising for the Batfamily especially now that Jason has come home (three cheers for Alfred for finally convincing him). Tim realised earlier it was because of Dick. No one wanted to disappoint him especially now that it's his favourite holiday. Nevertheless Tim was grateful for Dick coming home for the holiday, it certainly kept Damian off his back.

He was up late, just finishing some files for Bruce when he heard an enraged shriek. Racing down the hall his feet suddenly slipped from underneath him and a rope tightening around his body savaging roping him to the ceiling. And then he found the source of the scream. Jason was similarly tied up his eye burning from his normal green to a bright red, as his eyes did when he got mad (Thank you pit for the warning). Damian's eyes did the same but he was barely ever enraged, mostly just his normal shade and on special occasions a pinkish colour. But at the moment all he could think of was: I'm going to kill Damian. It was obvious it was him. So when small footfalls came running across to them Tim started struggling because Jason's eyes had just gone a neon red, glowing in the dark, extremely terrifying actually. Tim knew the only reason Jason was so angry is because he had been holding it all up while Dick was here, again not wanting to disappoint the only one he calls brother. As soon as the Demon approached them he huffed really loudly, "You guys sprung the trap!" He shouted at them, obviously annoyed. But Tim was watching Jason carefully. He had started huffing, which only ever happen when he was actually thinking about murdering one of them. Tim had never seen him so angry. He was praying Dick would come so they could salvage something from Damian's remains. "Now how are we going to catch Santa Claus?" Damian yawned. And Tim watched in amazement as Jason's eyes changed from neon red to red to pink to his green as he laughed. "Kid nobody can catch Santa Claus. It's impossible." Jason told Damian, who huffed and started working on the ropes to get them down. Tim watched in amazement as Jason and Damian walked off together. "But what if we got the entire Justice League-"

"Nobody catches him. It's impossible." Slowly their voices drowned out and Tim walked back to his room. Or at least tried to. But then his feet slipped off from him and rope tightened around him and he was savagely ripped to the ceiling. He sighed, concluding that he would sleep there then, there was no bothering asking Damian or Jason to let him down and he was very tired. They found him in the morning... Eventually.


	27. Short Stories (II)

**Short Stories**

Bart and Jaimie adopted a little girl. She had a superhero mum and a dad that was on his dying bed. Unfortunately her mother died saying Bart's life with her last words being 'Take care of my Princess'. After receiving the news of his wife's death her father loss his will to continue fighting. So after many months they finally brought Princess home to live with them. Whenever people came over they were usually shocked at her level of intelligence. This was a common occurrence:

"Wow you've created a genius!"

"No it's more that we had to schedule when she would listen to Bart's science CD's and when she would listen to my Spanish CD's. Eventually it cause an argument and we resolved by putting on science CD's translated to Spanish."

* * *

Whenever Jaimie listens to Sacrab his eyes move to the right as if he is trying to look at it without turning. Most of the team find it weird but relieved that they now know when it's talking to him or when his replying. Bart reckons it's so crash.

* * *

Dick loves ranting in French because it's the language he can speak the fastest therefore getting more words in a less about of time. Most of the arguments between him and Bruce are in French

* * *

When Batman put a curfew on the boys patrol hours the whole lot of them complained. To think that all he did was put a 11pm ending on the boys who were still in school would cause such at uprise.

"How come they get to go home early when we have to stay out til 3am. I knew I should have stayed alone-"

"I am not a child Father-"

"I'll get no work done. I won't be able to finish everything-"

"I wanna have the curfew too-"

Bruce just sighed and gave up.

* * *

When Wally falls asleep with his shirt Artemis kisses all of his freckles. It became a competition to her to see how many freckles she could kiss before he woke up. He believes waking up to that was one of the things he missed most went she went undercover.

* * *

One thing about Wally. He has absolute chicken scratch as handwriting. Why? Because his brain works much faster than his hand which says a lot because he is a speedster. It's truly painful for him in class, especially if he knows the topic already.

* * *

The funny thing is everybody on the team had been de aged in front of each other...except for Robin.

Conner was first. In a desperate attempt to terminate him the previous Kansas workers hired a low life magician to turn back the clock so all that was left of Conner was a couple of Superman's skin cells- just how he was started. Unfortunately for them they were unclear with their instructions and instead of turning back the clock the magician simply turned his body younger. He had all his memories in tact- thank God- but for a week it was absolute torture for him to get used to his younger body. M'gann loved it though.

When M'gann was de-aged the bad guys messed up again. There was this big plot that was suppose to end with Robin handing over secret files and to achieve this they kidnapped M'gann and threaten to turn back the clock 16 years because they believed that was her age. Unfortunately M'gann is actually over 100 years old and she didn't mind if they took a few years from her age. In fact it is one of her favourite ways to introduce herself.

"Hi, my name is M'gann and I don't know if I'm 103 or 87."

When Aqualad got de-aged, by Atlantic magic, apparently Aquaman looked after him the entire time, but it was really the King along with Artemis and M'gann and occasionally Roy in Mount Justice. There are many embarrassing (cute) stories because Aqualad didn't retain his memories until after the whole ordeal was over. Including the one time when Kaduar freed Wally's goldfish that he kept for an experiment. Wally was enraged because he had spent months on that experiment but no one could stay mad at "I surry Waaally." That he said with a little lisp. Which led to a bunch of questions and finally Aquaman told them that Kaduar did in fact have a lisp when he was younger.

Wally's experience was a mess. The team learnt not to play tag, to make sure they feed him and to NEVER, NEVER let him out of their sights. Wally had fits of having his memory and then losing them, causing the team to have to tell him who they all are again. Wally's case was weird though because he de-aged from vibrating which messed up his body and mind and after many tests Batman finally fixed him.

But Artemis' experience was by far the most memorial. She was de aged by Zatanna after promising to help her practise a few spells. Her memories were not in tact and they had to put the whole mountain on lockdown and dragged half the Justice League there to even find her. Eventually she was brought out into the open to which she made her feelings clear by kicking Kid Flash in the genitals and telling Batman to 'Fuck off'. She was instantly taken to the interrogation room where she exercised her right to silence. The only thing coming out of her mouth was her tongue for when she blew raspberries at Green Arrow. Zatanna's Magic eventually wore off but everyone agreed to never let Artemis be de-aged again. Even if that meant jumping in front of a spell.

* * *

There was fifty ninjas and only one of him. Oh and three ex- Robins and a really pissed off present Robin. So yeah piece of cake. Until more ninjas started coming.

_I do not understand why you cannot seem to comprehend that I required my sword in battle Father_

Batman flinched as Robin's voice sounded throughout his head. Then sighed. It had been four weeks since they had all had the curse put on them. They can all hear each other's thoughts. What originally started out as an annoying thing became useful when Tim- not Red Robin- was kidnapped and now the five men zone out the voices to a hum at the back of their heads. Unless spoken directly to. Batman sighed inaudibly again but Robin's thought had reminded him of his routine.

_Batboys?_

_Nightwing here and doing amazing_

_Red Hood here and kicking some major a-_

_Red Robin here and on top of things_

_Robin here and- and needing my sword_

Batman quickly finished the three that were on him and threw a smoke pellet to the floor then disappear in search of his youngest. A small smile grace his face as he saw the other boys trying to as well.

_Where are you Dami? - Nightwing_

_No names in Uniform -Batman _

_This is in our heads -Nightwing_

_What if we were facing a mind reader –Red Robin_

_Shut up Tim – Red Hood_

_Head's up. You're gonna feel that in the morning Red Hood – Nightwing_

_Fuck off- Red Hood_

_Robin? – Batman _

_Outside the back entrance – a very weak sounding Robin_

_Batboys? – Batman _

_I'm near the front but coming over now – Red Robin_

_Yeah I'm coming from the offices, left side- Red Hood _

_Overhead walkways. Hold on Dami, we are coming – Nightwing _

_No names in Uniform – Batman _

With that he sweep over to the back entrance to watch an injured bird fighting off five ninjas with batarangs. Red Robin swooped in and took two of the ninjas out with his bo staff while Red Hood shot two more (Rubber bullets, still even to knock out not kill) And Batman grabbed the other one while Nightwing grabbed Robin and swung him up to the recently cleared Overhead walkways.

_Take him home- Batman_

_I'll be back- Nightwing_

It took another half an hour to finish up the rest of the ninjas and another half to find the villain behind the whole ordeal. They got random updates from Nightwing who stayed with Robin and being asked to (He was really excited that Damian- DAMIAN- was asking him to stay). It was a breath of relief when they heard

_He's stable- Nightwing_

in their heads. After Penguin was defeated they all rushed back home to their bird.


	28. Water World

**Water World**

"Family bonding!"

Funny how those two words got the three boys on their feet and sprinting, desperately trying to hide. Jason watched in amazement as Damian jumped on the curtains and spider-monkey crawled up to the ceiling and leaped the ten metres to the chandelier. Sure he used to do it himself but watching someone do it he finally realised why they stressed so much. Tim had simply crawled in behind the couch, his feet just slightly poking but were suddenly pulled in, in a fashion of the couch eating him. Then he remember he had to hide too. Lucky there was enough time to dive into the (unlit) fireplace when Dick came bouncing in. "Found you!" He told Tim as he dragged him out from the couch. Tim grumbled but pulled himself off the floor and straighten his clothes up. Jason admired his bravery, the kid didn't even run. He wouldn't get far before Dick catches him but- "Found you!" Suddenly he was hauled out of the fireplace, dragging soot everywhere. He sighed and started attempting to cleaning before an impatient Alfred took over. Dick, for the life of him, the poor fella, couldn't find Damian. Tim and Jason smirked at each other before pointing in opposite directions, "He went that way." They told Dick to which he just sighed. Then came the unmistakable sound of diamond clicking against diamond. Jason and Tim ran out of the room just as Dick started climbing the curtain in a similar fashion to Damian. "I found you Damian!" They heard him shriek before diving into the nearest room.

Jason hid an unused bedroom for half an hour, listening. It had been a noisy half an hour. He had never heard Damian scream in such terror even fighting against villains triple his size. There had been many, many bangs and crashes nearly right outside his door. So when all the noise suddenly stopped Jason held his breath. Footsteps echoed down the hall in a fashion that reminded Jason of a horror movie. It was working too, Jason's heartbeat was pounding to his ears. _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. _

Jason quietly hid in the closet, holding his breath. The door creaked and Jason's heart stopped.

"HERE"S JOHNNY!" The door of the closet slammed open and Jason let out a high pitch screamed. Dick grabbed onto Jason and he didn't even fight. He had to calm down his heart. He was led back into the living room where he found Damian and Tim struggling against the duct tape that wind them to very expensive chairs. Seeing Jason, they both started screaming against their gags in his imagine saying, "Break free, save yourself." Seeing his brothers Jason tried to escape, for their sake's, but Dick's hold was too secure.

He found himself choking on duct tape as well as the others while Dick beamed at his handiwork. Only now did Bruce turn up, in his swimming trunks no less. Having already figured it out Tim started struggling more, flipping his chair to the side. It took Jason a little while longer but once he got it he starting struggling just as hard. NO WAY! He was not going. Granted it was boiling hot but they had a pool. They didn't need to go to the new water theme park that just opened. Plus it hadn't been hit by a villain before and that has to happen at least three times before it's deemed safe. Damian must of picked up what was happening because he started savagely trying to chew off the duct tape placed upon his mouth. Tim had started screaming against his. "I've got Tim." Bruce sighed. "Dick get Damian. Alfred you've got Jason." Jason groaned. He couldn't fight against Alfred. He knew Bruce overpowered Tim and that Dick would give puppy eyes and Damian would do everything he says.

In little over an hour the family found themselves in a cramped rental (the most expensive rental Jason had ever seen). It was probably for the best. Between Damian's hidden knives, Dick's beaming, Tim's near hostile mood and Jason's attitude there was bound to be some fighting in the HOUR ride that takes them Water World. Finally, FINALLY they arrived. There was little crowd because as said before, villians had not hit yet. Thus why their uniforms were packed in the boot. Also why Damian was allowed to bring his sword and coincidently why Jason, Dick and Tim were bleeding out of small cuts from their ride. Jason deduced they looked like a were given only a small amount of time to get change and get ready. Damian was wearing a full bathing suit, brought by Dick, which was all black except for a little Nightwing symbol on his left hip. But his hair was a mess and he had cat hair all over the left leg. Tim was wearing board shorts and a long sleeve swimming top and his eyes were bloodshot plus he had a particularly nasty cut from Damian on his calf which would sting once they got in the urine filled water. Dick was beaming wearing exactly what Damian was except his had a Robin symbol. How civilians never figure out they're the famous bat clan Jason would never know. What a bunch of fuckheads. He himself was wearing skins as bottoms and a swim shirt. They couldn't really wear much less. Their scars were too noticeable. Bruce was wearing the same style as Tim and Alfred was in his usual suit.

They were attacked by the paparazzi like usual but managed to find their way inside the water park in no time. To find nearly no one there. A handful of people were scattered around the wave pool and some were on a couple of rides. "Okay boys, huddle up." Bruce announced and they all huddled, Alfred included. He handed out a landyard each with three cards. Blue for Dick, Red for Jason, Green for Tim and Yellow for Damian. "Tuck these into your shirt. One is the card you need to scan to get on the rides, another is a key card with $1000 on it, the code is your birthday, and the last is a tracker. Stick with each other." And with that Bruce and Alfred walked off to the supervision area. Dick grabbed Damian's hand and basically pulled his arm out trying to get to the wave pool fast enough. Jason and Tim locked eyes. "Last one to get to the Dryer is a rotten egg!" Jason screamed sprinting at the famous ride. Tim just beat him only because on the way he 'accidentally' got pushed into a hot spa with a bunch of old ladies. Dryer is a ride where eight people were strapped to a cylinder like platform and spun viscously while being dropped from a massive height. The whole ride was told to be five out of five stars for scariness by all the critics. So obviously Tim and Jason wanted to prove themselves. It couldn't be scarier that falling from an exploding plane could it?

it wasn't. It was pretty boring actually. The boys actually found the joint slides better where they joined up with Damian and Dick and spent the entire 500 metre water slide racing each other and sabotaging the others. And the water Dodgems. Basically Dodgem Cars but in a lake on boats. They played so rough that Tim was actually thrown from his boat and had to swim back to get in. Damian started threatening the poor worker who wouldn't let him get on a water rollercoaster. Eventually he was let on and they got drenched... again. After another ride on the Dryer, which at least throughly dried them, they went to have lunch, hair looking like they had been electrocuted. The food was expensive and nearly $200 later they were all happily munching on their burgers and chips.

The afternoon was spent in the wave pool playing vicious games of Marco Polo. When Dick was it they all decided to get him back for the treatment that morning and got out of the pool and went to the gift shop, key cards in hand. But when Jason looked through the window Dick was playing with a bunch of attractive girls so who was the real winner? Finally Dick joined them (25 phone numbers later) and insisted that they all brought a Water World shirt, "Before this place gets ram shacked."

On the ride home Tim would not shout up about the physics of all the rides while Damian was reporting that he in faact had won all the slide races (Because Jason tackled Tim and Dick gave him a push at the end- every time). Jason was holding his new fish plushie (respectably called 'Fishy") and Dick jaut sat in happiness because he loved when all his brothers got along, the smile only fading when someone hit his sunburnt face.


	29. Relationship Goals

**Relationship goals**

Everyone knew in the mountain that M'gann and Conner were the cute couple. The sort of couple that is also allowed to hang out for sleepovers and such because they were so innocent and adorable. Zatanna and Dick were the on again, off again couple. The type of couple that you're not sure you can call them a couple but there's definitely _something _going on there. But Artemis and Wally were Relationship goals. The type of relationship that lonely girls cry about at night.

When they first started dating it was awkward because Artemis wasn't used to the idea of someone whole heartily loving her. Like, yeah, Ollie loves her but he loves Dinah more. And her mother says she loves both of her girl's equally. But Wally's love was constantly on her. Sometimes she couldn't deal with it and ran away from it all because, "It's too much Wally. It's too much." She would tell him, crying. Once her father learnt about their relationship, he threatened Wally and she completely broke it off because, "I will not let you get killed over me."

Nevertheless through all the fights ("That's what makes us passionate beautiful") and the tears and the pain they are still together and have become relationship goals. Just ask their teammates:

* * *

Conner

Conner was working on the bikes with Artemis. M'gann was off at some school funraiser and Artemis offered to work on the bikes, "Because," she told him, through giggles, "Apparently you constantly need a female there to assist. Namely a green skinned female." He let the jest go because what was the point in getting mad? Plus he won't complained about a helping hand. Artemis was currently fixing hers after a couple of missions ago when she accidentally drove it into a lake, trying to shoot the evil robot. "Don't shoot and drive." Wally had teased as he rescued her before she went down with the bike. They hadn't been able to fish the thing out until the mission ended and by that time it wouldn't work. Artemis swore under her breath as the bike wouldn't turn on. Suddenly a blur came and left and Artemis was gone. Conner just shrugged, assuming Wally had taken her. He was proved right when the blur came back, not fifteen seconds later the blur came back and put Artemis back on the ground, this time in her uniform. "-your sister." Wally was saying, fiddling with his goggles.

Artemis nodded, "Well my bike is screwed so I'm taking yours. Are you sure you can keep up?" Wally looked like he was about to whine like he always did when she jokes about his skills but instead just zoomed off and back again, holding her helmet. He sweetly kissed her on the forehead and pulled the helmet on, "Just you try to keep up." Conner's superhearing picked up. Then he flipped the visor down and zoomed off. Through X-ray vision Conner saw Artemis blush bright red, then swear and clip the helmet on, muttering about stupid boyfriends as she straddled his bike and zoomed off after him. Conner just rolled his eyes.

* * *

Dick

Dick was doing his homework with Artemis. After finding out they had the same classes for most subjects they decided to ban together and help each other. Dick hated English. Artemis hated Maths. It had a beautiful workout. Once they helped each other, they just continued to work on other subjects. Dick was working on Physics while Artemis was working on Art. A quick glance found that she had a bunch of childlike drawing of a bunch of hearts, each split up with different names. Wally walked in the room and instantly came up behind Artemis, hugging her waist and laying his chin on her head, trying to work out what she was doing. Artemis sighed after awhile. "For Art our project is to show our childhood. Since handing in a jar of blood is apparently not what the teacher wants I'm forced to do this absolutely stupid thing I did as a kid. I used to believe that you split your heart with the amount of people you loved and they each have an amount of room in your heart. So I'd draw down my heart." A quick study shown that when the drawings got better and better (=When Artemis got older) She felt less love for her father and sister and more for her mother and her bow. It was somewhat sad to see. "And part of the task is to reconnect it with our lives now. So some people have a photo of them doing a thing and they recreated the photo. So I'm making a new heart."

Wally nodded along the entire time. "So where's this new heart?"

Artemis blushed (she had been doing that a lot since they started dating). "You're not seeing it." She argued. Papers went flying and Wally stood at the other side of the room with a piece of paper in his hands. Artemis' heart. Artemis growled and jumped up from her seat. Wally frowned, "Me, Dick, Meg, Conner, Kald, Zatanna, Raq, Mum, Jade, Ollie... Where is the love for yourself." He looked up, genuinely confused.

"Wally!" Artemis screeched, jumping at the fool. And only reaching thin air. She bent down and picked up the paper Wally left, straightening it out and putting it back in her file. Wally zoomed back in, with a paper of his own now. He sat it down in the file with hers and zoomed off again. Dick, because he was curious, looked over and saw that on the paper was a messy heart drawn with Artemis' name in the middle. Words were scrawled on the back as she flipped it over.

_It's okay if there's no room left in your heart for you, _it said, _because you've got all of mine. _

Feeling a grin slide across his face, Dick fake pouted and said, "Why are you so selfish Artemis, WHERE'S THE PART IN YOUR HEART DEDICATED TO ME WALLLLLY?"

* * *

M'gann

M'gann tried not to smile at the two. But they were too cute. Artemis was sick with the common cold and Wally, claiming that his body temperature denies him of such luxuries, is trying to help her get better again. And failing. He tried to make soup and then eat it all, thought that painting her nails would make her feel better and ending up spilling the polish on him. Made soup again, burnt it. Kiss her 'to make it better', got sneezed upon. Attempted to give her a massage, got vomited upon. Made soup again, gave up when she said she actually want ice cream. Now they were both just snuggled up on the couch watching a horror movie, Wally's spew stained shirt on the floor and her comfortably dozing off, cuddled firmly in his bare chest.

* * *

Kaldur

Wally could ran across water. He called himself Jesus because of it. While everyone found that hilarious it also meant that they team was saved at the expense of buying a speed boat. Wally hated it but every time they went to the beach they hooked a harness up to him and make him take them on rides on the floatable disks. Black Carnary simply called it practiced. Wally called it hell. Running on water was hard enough, but having to carry people behind him? Torture. As the years pass, he got better at it though. They strapped a go pro to his back and replay all the great fails and he threw them off at a speed that once sent Conner flying up the sand bar. But if he threw them off, Wally always tried to catch them, because most of them weren't nearly indestructible. His favourite person to throw off by far had to be Artemis because holding on was all about upper body strength and she had a lot of it. It was always a victory to throw her out.

The team were spending another day at the beach. They had had a bunch of fun all day and now the sun was setting. Conner and M'gann were sadly packing up anything while Dick was having fun destroying all the sand castles they made. And Wally was taking Artemis out for one last spin. Her screames of joy were the only sound against the calm evening. So it was a shock when they were suddenly cut short. The team all looked out to the ocean to see the inflatable disk and the harness floating and a dot quickly disappearing in the horizon. Kaldur smiled to himself, bringing the harness and disk back in with his magic, they would be back in an hour or two.


	30. Timmy's Trends

**Timmy's trends**

Tim works a lot on the computer. Therefore he sees most memes and trends and stupid videos before they even become well known. Not to mention he always works better noise in the background so he usually puts on the latest movie out and accidentally memorises the quotes to say later. Eventually everyone notices that he has a habit of predicting when things are about to be popular and he himself becomes a meme. Here's some of the favourite stories:

Tim and Damian often get in fights at school. There's an entire section of the betting pool for these fights. When, how, who will win, who will bleed first, what type of insults, so on and so forth. Even the teachers bet on it because teacher's pay sucks and the Joker just blow their house... Again. Nevertheless it wasn't a surprise at lunch when the

when the two started screaming at each other. It went silent after awhile, with Tim looking like he had won. Then Damian proudly said, "Well you can't dance." (Seriously was this argument about Just Dance AGAIN?)

To everyone's surprise Tim calmly got up on the table in front of everyone, SLUT DROPPED, saying, "What's this then slut?"

The cafeteria rioted. Even the guards started pissing themselves laughing.

It became popular instantly with everyone doing it, with context or none. Walking down the hallway, many people slut dropping, almost screaming out the words, "What's this then slutttt?" The footy boys seem to especially love it which was weird and it even became a part of the cheerleaders choreography. The video of Tim got more views then the actual video itself.

* * *

They were at another Gala, this one for Easter. Damian had gotten out of it because of a head injury from last nights patrol, Dick ran off as soon as he heard about it and Jason looked as grumpy as Tim was, in a suit, talking to the old women about Jesus. Jason had walked off to a girl and started chatting her up while Tim's head was running wild with the idea of heaven and God, all the while nodding his head along to the old lady's story. Tim wanted to (politely) ask Jason about the matter because- well Jason had died before and he would surely know if there was a heaven or hell. Politely excusing himself Tim walked over to Jason, who after seeing the look on his face, bolted. Tim sighed and started talking to the girl. "Well this is boring," he told her, "wanna come to the gardens." He finished, thinking of how he could ditched her at the fountain and go down to the Batcave. It was a perfect plan, the adults would see the two leaving together and assume intercourse and then wouldn't think twice about it if he didn't come back. And the girl would be found as Bruce leads a tour in the garden. The girl humpfed, "I'VE got a boyfriend." She told him matter-of-factly. Tim, with his thoughts still on Heaven stated back, "So do I." Jason, who was standing a couple of metres away, lose it. The video of him instantly became popular again, mostly because of the girl's face, who was later recognised as a homophobe.

* * *

"Good evening Gotham, this is Katana Shim, from Channel 13 news. The weather this evening seems like it will be a quiet one for once, with Joker and Harley Quinn finally put back where they belong. A recap for you all, Harley Quinn broke the Joker out of jail and they set on a rampage in Gotham in both the North and West sides. It took the combined effects of the Justice League and our beloved Bat Clan to finally bring them down. Although we are worried for Red Robin who took a hit to the head- Is that him there?"

Sure enough when the camera swung from Katana to the dark alley Red Robin swooped down and started running full pent at a wall. He was still in costume but had a heavy bandage wrapped around his head. Suddenly he stopped and screamed, "I CAUGHT YOU MANKEY!" Under further inspection the boy also had a phone in his hands and was playing Pokemon Go. He then ran past the camera shrieking, "GOTTA CATCH THEM ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!" He voice fading away as he ran further and further away from the camera. The camera was about the swing back to Katana when another figure came jogging out of the alley. "RED ROBIN WHERE THE -BEEP- ARE YOU!" Red Hood screamed, looking around for the hero. Then his phone went off and he had to dig around a bit to pull it out of his jacket along with a packet of smokes, of which he lit one. Answering the phone, he finally saw the camera and flipped it off (which was blurred out of course). From the distance only Red Hood's answers could be heard. "No I'm not smoking B, what I want to know is who got Red Robin high on -beep-ing drugs and decided it was a great -beep-ing idea to give him Pokemon Go. I mean who the -beep- does that?"

In the distance a shriek of 'Gotta catch em all' is heard and Red Hood swears, angrily flings down his cigarette and pockets his phone before running in the direction it came from, muttering under his breath, "I'M gonna catch you"

* * *

There's an amazing video of Tim Drake being kidnapped and during the ransom video Batman, Nightwing, Red Hood and Robin come to save him and the entire time someone puched someone Tim, who was heavily drugged and placed in the back of the room, would refer it to 'whipping'. At one point Nightwing started Nae Naeing and the criminals joined in with Tim singing it in the background.

* * *

There's another video of Tim and Damian in school, captured by the school security cameras. They were walking to class, peaceful for once when a jock boy rammed into Damian's shoulder. If one has keen eyes they could see Tim pinch Damian to remind him that any other ten year old boy would fall to the floor with that kind force. Damian angrily snorted but dropped his books. This all happen in half a second and would not seem suspicious to anyone else. But then the Jock spun around, "Watch where you're going little boy."

Damian's eyes burned and Tim nudged him to remind him that there was a camera there. He turned so his back faced the camera and so no one would see his eyes flashing a pink (Thank you pit for the warning). Again this all happened in half a second so it wasn't suspicious.

"Ahh," Jock continued on stupidly, "Is the baby gonna cry now? Do you also get mummy to wipe your bum?" He must be new here, especially if he didn't recognise them.

"Triggered." Tim whispered to the camera as Damian jumped on the poor soul.

* * *

Another famous one is when Bruce filmed Dick's birthday and he was opening his presents. He got a vacuum cleaner from Alfred, money from Bruce, a gun from Jason (which was edited out of the video), a new laptop with a bunch of new systems from Tim and a unicycle from Damian. After opening Damian's present he excitedly jumped up announcing, "I know just the thing for this," running out the door. The video continues with everyone sending questioning looks at Damian, obviously from his present to Dick. Suddenly there was a crash and the camera span over to the bannister where Dick was unicycling down the stairs with a frog mask on. It was silent from shock until Tim turned to the camera, true office style, and said, "It's dat boi.


	31. Wally

**Wally**

**(I've realised that Jason wasn't back from the dead by the time Wally 'died'. And that Damian doesn't even come into it yet and that Tim is still Robin but I'm mixing it all up. Sorry) **

Dick laid awake trying to think of the many 'what ifs' of his life. What if his parents were still alive. What if Bruce didn't take him in. Wwhat if he never became Robin?

But right now the most pressing one to him was what if Wally is alive? It's been months since that fateful day but his funeral was that day and Dick left halfway through. He couldn't stand to watch Artemis- strong, brave, independent Artemis- be reduce to a crying mess for one minute longer. He also could not watch the Conner continuously look at all the original teammates, his thoughts of '_We're all in the same place for the last time' _written clearly across his teary face. He also could not take the pitiful glances his brothers were giving him and regretted inviting them to 'help him (grieve)'. But most of all he couldn't stand the empty coffin. The no proof of death. He has been working in this line of work long enough to know that no body equals no proof of death.

So what if Wally was really alive?

Well first he'd have to find where Wally went. Luckily, from being trained with the Batman for long enough, he had even sense to have thought of everything and taken a sample on that day. Of the snow, of the air, anything that could help him. And pictures. He had taken plenty of pictures. He just had never had time to look at it all yet. It was just sitting in another unopened file in his desk. Between subtly checking up on Artemis, Barry, Iris and Bart and work, both police and Nightwing, he just hadn't had the time.

So you don't even have the time to found if your best friend was dead?

He growled at himself and the time. It was time to patrol but he was so tired. So tired. He was tired not having Wally around, tired of being Nightwing, tired of everyone he loves being taken away. He was so tired. He was already working himself into the ground and the guilt of not researching what happened to Wally losing him sleep. He tried desperately to think of solutions. Maybe he could call in a couple of sick days but still go out as Nightwing (to throw people off his back) and spend his days getting rest and working on this case. Because he knows for sure that people have already given up. Or he could ask a Leaguer to look over his city at night while he played Police Officer and worked on this case.

Or he could-

Or he could maybe just-

Or he could maybe just go home. As much as he hated to admit it perhaps going home would help him this on. Maybe he could go for an extended break from the police, ask Bruce to continue paying his rent for the apartment and come back home. Maybe that could be his conditions for coming back home. It's not like Bruce already puts money in his account but he always ignores it because that money is the difference to whether his card declines or not getting coffee. Dammit, his life was a wreck. And Wally…

Dick couldn't accept that he just died. Wally has just gone for a vacation too. Dick barely saw the two anyways so he would have an easy time believing that lie while he worked on bringing Wally back.

Yeah that would work. But right now he needed to patrol.

Tonight was a quiet night. Dick felt like he was jinxing that by saying it but it was true. Maybe the ruthless way he stopped the first couple of crimes of the night scared the criminals back into bed. He caught a reflection of his face as he swung past a window. Oh yeah. His face is definitely radiating the 'don't even try' look he normally sees on mother's faces. But quiet nights were bad. Quiet nights means time to think. And he hated what he was thinking. He would need help. On his case. To bring back Wally. He couldn't ask anyone that didn't know Wally. He couldn't ask Roy. Roy was well on his road to recover thanks to Jade (Dick mentally reminded himself to buy her flowers) and the news of Wally's death hit him hard. Jade has to repair all the work she's done that was ruined now. No definitely not Roy. For Lian's sake. And as much as she would have helped Jade couldn't help him either. Trying to lay low from the league of Shadows, repairing her clone and looking after Lian all at once is hard enough and while she deeply cares for Artemis it would be too much to ask for. Maybe the occasional ask for help. Which also leads to Artemis. He couldn't ask Artemis because as much as he hated to admit it there was no guarantee and he didn't want to raise her hopes. No it would be best to not even mention this to her. Asking any of the original team would be suicide. The girls would throw him into intense counselling before he could even say that he didn't need it. Artemis was already in it because she refused to pack up Wally's things. And as much as Conner and Kadulr love him and Wally they would inform the girls and again- counselling. Nah he couldn't do that. If he needed any tests to be done with superspeed he could convince Bart to do it with some lie that would throw him off but otherwise the Allen's were in the same boat as Artemis. His brothers would probably find out what he is doing (if they don't already have some idea) but he couldn't ask for they full devoted attention to his case either. Maybe they could help him a little bit but Damien and Tim were still in school and Jason always had his own shit to deal with. And he won't give Bruce the satisfaction of needing him. No it had to be someone but not those people. Who?

Dick sighed as he swung down onto a gang assault silently cursing himself for jinxing his quiet night.


	32. Wally (part II)

**Wally (part II)**

Artemis laid in bed counting down the seconds it would take until the other side of the bed would turn cold again. She like to play this game with herself where she round onto one side of the bed until it got warmed up by her body heat and then switch sides and slid her hands in the warm patch she created earlier and pretend it was Wally who left it there. Because he was going to the toilet or he was getting something to eat and he would be back soon.

He would be back soon.

She always cursed herself for doing this but in the time that the bed got cold she would always switch sides again. Sometimes she even got angry with herself. It was this denial that got her three hours of counselling every Monday through to Friday, to which she would return home and then instantly be taken out for some bonding trip or another. Dinner with M'gann, Connor sometimes tagging along. It was nice to see that they were back together again but sometimes Artemis just couldn't deal with seeing them as a couple without thinking of how much she missed Wally. Tuesdays was Ice cream with Zatanna. Since a default topic for them to to talk about was boys, bitching over Dick and Wally, it was also a painful activity. As a part of his and her counselling Bart and Artemis spend Wednesdays together both agreeing to train with each other instead doing worthless things like walking on the beach and talking about their feelings. But once again Wally crosses her mind, remembering the way they used to train together all too easily with Bart's superspeed. Thursday was swimming with Kadulr where she remembers Wally's and her's long chats about the future that can never happened on that the beach. Friday was watching a stupid chick flick with half the girls from both the Justice League and the young team. And weekends she could look forward to spending the entirety of it locked up in the Watch Tower. If she was lucky there would be a mission. Kadulr sometimes even goes out of his way to create a mission although he also demands that someone goes with her.

What overkill. She was fine. Black Canary even said so in the last counselling session. In fact she said that it was the lack of grief she showed that made everyone anxious.

She sighed again as she rolled over to face the window just in time to see a shadow jump from her roof onto the gate and jump to the next one. Really? That was the third time this night. First Dick than Dick's little brother (for some reason, maybe tracking Dick) and now this. Judging from the catlike way of moving it was either her sister or Selena (of whom she had bonded with ages ago in a case). More likely her sister since she did this every night and as far as she was concerned Selena did not have a child strapped to her back that waved at her as she saw her through the window. Artemis silently waved back. She missed her niece but Jade had taken it upon herself to ease up on the babysitting duty. Maybe that was Artemis' fault. Jade had come to drop Lian off when Artemis had thrown an utter tantrum after finding an engagement ring in Wally's sock draw when packing up some of his stuff as a compromise for afternoons to herself and only one hour of counselling instead of two. As it turns out her little tantrum got her even more counselling and a roommate. Yep, that's right. They went one step further and assigned someone everyday to watch over her while she slept. Tonight was Zatanna's night but they had come home from a massive mission (That they absolutely did not need Tigeress' help on, thank you Artemis) and Zatanna came to watch over and promptly fell asleep on the couch. Artemis felt bad for her. The League has given her some time off to grieve but that's exactly the opposite of what she needed. To be walking through place memories flashing through her head. Oh this is the place that Wally fell asleep after writing a massive assignment, Oh this is the place where Wally and her had an intense highlighter war (which she won thank you very much). Oh this is the place- it was driving her head up the wall. So maybe that's why she did what she did. Checking on Zatanna (who was still asleep) she donned her Tigress uniform and climbed out the window (after leaving a note of course). She was done with the sessions, done of the pitiful looks, done with everyone treating her like glass. Using Wally's old motorbike instead of hers, she sped her way to the local Zeta Tube, her fingers itching for something to hit. Only to find Zatanna already there. "What the fuck." Artemis swore under her breath and she violently braked to avoid hitting her friend. Doing so flung her off her bike but she landed on her feet. "Are you tracking me?" She asked angrily. As if it wasn't enough that she was constantly watched 24/7 she had a tracking spell on her! Zatanna looked weary and tired but she nodded nevertheless. "Why?" Artemis nearly shrieked but she controlled herself. She felt the spell lift off her almost as a way of apology but her expression remained furious. How dare they! She was willing for the counselling, she gave up her afternoons and she occupied a housemate for them! So they would stop worrying about her! So she could get on with her life sooner. She was making process goddamit!

"Because we worry about you Artemis. What if you decided this world isn't worth living without Wally?" Artemis lost it then. She had keep her cool around her friends because they were also grieving. Because they missed Wally too. But enough is enough. Councelling, babysitters and now they thought she was suicidal. Enough was enough.

"Well maybe it's not." She walked over to the bike, picked it up and revved it so Zatanna would get out of the way. When she didn't Artemis sighed and spun it 180 degrees. She would go to the next Zeta Tube then. Or maybe she would just drive. Anywhere and everywhere. Just to get away from the fucking mess that is her life without Wally.


	33. Wally (part III)

**Wally (part III) **

Dick had finally gone to sleep when he was woken up by the ringing of his phone. Glaring at the Caller ID he picked it up on the final ring. "What Tim?"

"BartactuallyIstoleTim'sphoneandhelooksmuderous."

"What do you want Bart?"

"Artemisismissing."

"Come again?"

"Artemis is missing."

"Fuck"

Dick swore no one- not even the Flash- had been able to move as fast as he did just then. Up at the Watch Tower Zatanna was sobbing into M'gann arms. From the looks of it she was trying to use a location charm on a shirt to find Artemis but it was glitching up.

"What does that mean? What does that mean!" Bart was screaming being restraint by Jaime. They had pulled up a hologram of the world and every time Zatanna would use the spell the little dot flicker from Antarctica to Gotham which was making no sense.

Zatanna tried it once more and broke down in M'gann's arms, Bart doing the same. Thus ensured chaos. Someone was screaming to get relatives, someone was yelling about how they had to get a squad on it but it was Bart's shriek that really broke everyone's hearts.

"What if she's dead?" He sobbed into Jaime shoulder. Dick frowned, he hadn't realised they had gotten so close. Everything was so confusing and everyone was crying and he felt the beginning of the pain he felt when Wally died.

Until Dick saw the shirt properly.

"Zatanna, give me the shirt." He demanded but she was so much of a mess he had to walk over and gently pull it out of the quivering girl's hands.

"I can't lose her too, I can't-) She was sobbing but Dick paid her no attention, forming a plan. He looked up again to watch the dots flickering.

Gotham and where Wally died. Then he looked back down at the shirt that was causing so much anguish. It was Wally's old track shirt. Across the back WEST was written with the number 15 while on the front was their University.

"Zatanna why did you pick this shirt." Dick asked slowly picking the dots together as he watched the hologram.

"It was what Artemis threw on the ground when she was putting on her uniform." She managed to hiccup.

"These are her PJs?"

"Yes, why?" Everyone was quieting down, confused but eager to what he had to say. He showed her the back of the shirt where everyone could clearly read the WEST.

"Technically this is Wally's shirt. But now it's Artemis'. Meaning it's both. The dot in Gotham is Artemis."

Which means the other dot is Wally. And from previous missions they know that dots for people don't show up if they're dead. Which means Wally has to be alive. He looked around to see if anyone else made this connection but they all just seemed so happy that Artemis was alive. He didn't realize how many people were up there until now. There was Bart and Jaime in PJs- were they together? Must be- and Tim who was looking up at his brother through the lenses of his glasses. Batman was there which explained why Tim was here. Tim hated being alone in the house with all it's empty rooms and echoing hallways, reminding him too much of his childhood. And especially now since a muderous Damian was also there. Hawkman and Hawkwoman. Black Canary. Conner and M'gann. Flash was also there, looking battered maybe from a mission next to Hal who was looking the same. Dick watched as Flash disappeared then reappeared holding out a necklace. "Try this, "he said, "It's solely Artemis'." Zatanna tried it and it pinpointed the dot in Gotham. Dick mentally memorised where the dot was then he disappeared. He was going to find Artemis because no one survived that part of Gotham by themselves. He raced to get on his uniformed as quickly as possible and rode out to where he last saw the dot. Because no one ever came out of that side of Gotham without being beaten up. Dick followed the dot to a supposedly abanonded warehouse. To find an interesting sight. Jason was on top of the roof looking in the human sized hole. Dick quickly joined him and looked down to see Artemis beating up a whole gang of people- savagely. "Damn." Jason whispered, "You've got some pretty interesting friends. She's doing all my work for me." Dick nodded as he watched on. Artemis wasn't using any weapons and it was at least thirty on one but she was smashing them.

"Why is she doing this?" Jason asked looking up at him as Artemis finished off the bad guys and calmly walked to a motorbike- Wally's by the look of it- and drove off leaving them all moaning and groaning around.

"She's finally snapped." Dick said quietly watching her go. The two boys went after her the whole night. They watched her beat up countless gangs and stop countless assaults, robberies and rapes. And every time she just left them. Artemis did see them tailing her through out the night but she seemed to respect the fact that they weren't joining in or anything. Zatanna and M'gann tried countless times to find her and pick her up but Dick always put them off track and he counted on Tim to miss up their GPS and tracking. Eventually Artemis got tired. Exhausted even. She nearly collapsed after her last battle. Dick said goodnight to Jason and watched her go home to basically the whole team sleeping on her couch. He watched her look at the mess of people and sigh before heading to her bedroom and locking the door, even though they all knew that doing so would not prevent any unwelcome guests. He watched her pull off her suit and collapse on the bed, drifting off before she even landed.

That decided it. He was going to go home to the Manyor and find Wally. He had found new evidence this evening with Zatanna's tracking spell. He had to find Wally. For Artemis and Bart and Barry and Roy. And for him. He needed his best friend back.


	34. Wally (part IV)

**Wally (part IV)**

Bart woke up in Jaime's arms. He sighed in relief that his nightmare had just been that- a nightmare and snuggled closer into Jamie's neck. Just for the alarm to go off. Jaime's amor activated at his panic of the noise and Bart laughed as he subdued it and blushed.

That had been his morning for the past couple of weeks. Just after Artemis snapped Bart couldn't imagine going to bed by himself. So they spent the night at Artemis' for her return, joined by a dozen others and for the rest of the nights they had been spending in Jaime's room (Bart's was too messy). For the entire couple of weeks Artemis had been locked up in her room at the Watch Tower only coming out for training or counselling. And Tigress was permanently off missions for a while. Bart felt sorry for her. But he knew it was for her safety. In her training sessions with him, she was vicious, and banned from sparring after she broke Conner's nose. The Superboy's nose. Of course she had also broken her hand doing so.

The Leaguers whispered that she was off the rails, completely broken but no one that knew her personally believed it. Artemis was strong, too strong to be off the rails but everyone heard her heaving sobs at night, a clear demonstration of a broken heart. And Bart didn't understand why it hurt him so much. Maybe because he should've stopped it somehow, should've slowed down or maybe because he feels obliged to look after Artemis since Wally wasn't here to. His heart breaks every time he has to suit up. Which was right now.

"Beta squad, you've got Lex's assistant to look after. Keep her busy while Alpha takes Luthor down."

Bart didn't even know what the mission was about and he was about to ask Jaime before a booming voice sounded over the chatting teammates.

"Actually I need Bart to stay behind for another mission."

Everyone looked taken aback but Aqualad nodded, clearly confident that whatever Nightwing wanted him for was a good reason. Bart stepped aside and watch the team be beta'ed away before turning back to Nightwing, who was already walking to the training room. Bart held his silence, a shock for all, and waited for Nigtwing to speak first.

"Look, it's on a need to know basis but I'm currently uncover tracking another speedster." Bart frowned. Shouldn't he be able to feel another speedster? But then again the Speed Force had been all messed up since Wally had died. Bart nodded along.

"And to do so I need to do some research on your abilities." Bart nodded again, completely convinced in Nightwing's lie.

They did tests all afternoon to which none raised Bart's suspicions until he saw the folder that Nightwing was recording his results in. It was marked with Wally's name.

"Hey Dick," Bart hesitated, seeing Nightwing's face, "why is Wally's name written on the folder."

Nightwing glanced in confusion at the folder then he said, "Oh, I've just got Wally's results of when we did tests on him on his abilities-"

With a swish of the papers Bart held the folder in his hands and started reading through, his eyebrows knitting together with confusion.

"When you said you were tracking down a speedster." He said slowly, "You meant Wally. You're in denial."

Nightwing made to grab the folder from his hands but Bart evaded his grip, still looking through the folder and evidence. His eyes widened as he came across the part about the tracking spell flicking before they filled with determination.

"I'm in." He told Nightwing, handing back the folder. This was a way to help Artemis. To make Wally proud of him. And he would be damn stupid if he didn't take the opportunity. Nightwing nodded and Bart realised the whole thing was staged, that Nightwing meant to have Bart read through the folder. He huffed. Bats! They just couldn't simply ask for help.

"Wally's still here. He's running all across the world, so fast even you can't see him. Here's the thing, speedsters all use the same energy and he has been using yours. Haven't you notice you're slower?" Bart nodded, he had but just shrugged it off as still being shaken. "Well Wally's so much of it that every millisecond he is back where he disappeared. He never stopped running just went faster." Bart sunk to the ground, unable to take in some much. His brain whirred at the information. He looked up at Nightwing, "What do I have to do." Nightwing nodded at his bravery and calming put his hand on his shoulder.

"I need you to use the energy that you all shared. I need you to use so much of it that he'll slow down enough for us to catch him, to bring him out of whatever he's in." Bart nodded again.

"Why can't we tell the League?" Referencing to what Nightwing had said early about the uncover mission, "Surely they'll help?"

Nightwing shook his head slowly, "Look at what they did to Artemis. Look we'll need to tell Barry because you couldn't possibly take up enough energy by yourself and we… will need your great grandpa as well."

"Jay? He's retired."

"We need to steal enough energy that Wally will slowly down enough for us to catch him. Meaning we'll need a lot."

"Who's we?"

"My family. They've all agreed to him me keep him stable until we can get proper help."

"Keep him stable?"

"Bart he hasn't eaten, drank, slept or stopped running in months. That's bad enough for anyone but for a speedster. He's going to crash, hard. The only thing that's on our side is the fact that the time is so messed up in the speed force that it could only be a couple of hours for him."

Bart hunched over, wishing for Barry or Jaime or Wally. Someone to tell him it will all be okay. "When will we do it?"

"As fast as possible. I need you to tell Barry and Jay, show them the folder while I set up for Wally."

Bart nodded and took the folder before running off to his grandparent's home.


	35. Bat rules (part II)

**Bat rules (part II)**

(I f**eel the need to add this in because it's utterly disrespectful not to. Yes Stephanie has added her own comments to the bat rules. In fact all members that have ever been part of the bat clan has added their own comments to the bat rules. The only reason their comments are not shown is because there are many volumes of the bat rules and this particular volume has only been in the hands of the characters below (Read: I feel I do not have enough grip or experience writing the characters to show their personality properly))**

Damian was going through Tim's stuff. No, he was investigating the mess that just so happens to be Drake's room. Why? Because Titus had gone missing and it was really concerning Damian and his last request for Titus was the go and pee on Drake's bed. Now he realised why Titus hasn't returned. The room was a mess. It was messier than a mess. It was a mess mess. Nevertheless he was loyal to his dog so Damian screwed up his nose and dove in. As he waded through the clothes and papers he noticed that all the papers on the floor were neat and unwrinkled. Except for one. Curiosity burning up inside of him, he pocketed the old piece of paper for further investigation later.

An hour later he pulled it out again, lying securely on Titus' side, after finding him in Tim's closet. He read through the paper twice before understanding what it seemed to be.

A legacy passed from Robin to Robin. He could easily recognize Dick's hurried writing from Jason's messy and Tim's neat writing. He felt a bit insulted that this hadn't come to him sooner but nevertheless added his own comment under the rest in the old, dirty, stained Bat Rules list

**What you are about to see is a high case security level piece. This is only shown to Bats and anyone who looks after a Bat. The information shown here shall never be shown to another without permission. But without further ado the Bat rules.**

The actual bat rules

_Robins' comments (In order of the (boy) Robin's Dick, Jason, Tim and finally Damian)_

Bat rule no.1

Never tell/show your identity to anyone. Unless you trust them with your life.

_Or if you have searched up their history, political status, skills, anger management classes, music taste, favourite colour, roster of their work, search history, favourite flower, weaknesses, murders (just kiddledes) and last but most their opinion on Miley Cyrus' new hair cut_

_Or if SOMEONE is smart enough to find out. We aren't as sneaky as we hope you know_

_Or if it could be a potential future Robin. Like moi_

_Or never. It was purely flawed luck that allowed Drake to catch onto our guarded family secret _

Bat rule no.2

Bat cave cannot and will not be seen by anyone

_And by that it means The bat cave must not be seen by any mortal and live_

_Yeah not happening_

_HAHAHAhAHAHAH WHOOPS_

_This is actually a rule? Father this rule has never been followed throughout my life here_

Bat rule no.3

Chewing gum is not permitted. ANYWHERE AT ANYTIME.

_Bbbbbbuuuuuuutttttt bubble gum is an amazing loop hole_

_It's either chewing gum or cigerattes. I mean, your chose_

_The choking hazard is near to none when your career is literally fighting people with weapons _

_What is chewing gum?_

Bat rule no.4

Your names in uniform are your hero names. No exceptions.

_Yeah but some idiot calling out dick as an insult is another excellent loophole_

_Does Jay Bird even count?_

_This is literally how I became Robin_

_You are all imbeciles for not following this rule_

Bat rule no.5

Strict no murdering rule. We protect not destroy.

_sometimes this rule can be very tempting to break_

_^Agreed_

_^Agreed_

_^Agreed_

Bat rule no.6

No one- NO ONE- can drive the Bat mobile other then Batman

_And you think a tiny little rule is going to stop Robin? The boy wonder? Please_

_NOT IF I STEAL ALL THE WHEELS BYEEEEEE_

_But what if you're hurt? "Robin, I'm dying, take me to Agent A." "See, nuh uh, because only you can drive the Batmobile. Soz."_

_I know how to drive Father_

Bat rule no.7

No speedsters are allowed in the cave if they have had any intake of sugar, energy drinks, caffeine or all three in the past 48 hours

_This actually includes both Wally and Barry, unsurprising, after an experience with all three restrictions and a giant penny_

_^That was the best security footage I've ever seen_

_And Impulse now too_

_Why would anyone let speedsters have any intake of sugar, caffeine or energy drinks at all?_

Bat rule no.8

No feet resting up on the bat computer. Not even if a broken leg/ ankle/ foot is in the picture

_If you are watching a movie on the bat screen this rule might be tempting but refrain yourself and propped them up on the bat mobile instead_

_Or the bat plane_

_Or the bat submarine_

_Or on the floor you dirty imbeciles _

Bat rule no.9

When working on an investigation with the police never tell them all the details for one of them may be a double agent

_Also they are too stupid to handle our beautiful intelligence_

_Also they usually tell the news_

_Also they try to get in with what you're doing_

_Also they won't understand half the words we use because they're mostly all codewords_

Bat rule no.10

If the city is quiet patrol may be cut but only around 12:30am

_And if you're lucky you only have one assignment to work on and get to sleep around about 4:30am_

_And if you're lucky you'll only have one project to work on and get to sleep around about 4:30am_

_And if you're lucky you'll only have one report to work on and get to sleep around about 4:30am_

_I am not a child and can therefore stay awake longer despite the patrol being quiet_

Bat rule no.11

If you hear a scream always rush to see who's in trouble

_Actually this rule has been deleted for Robin after a horrible experience with a shower, Batman's terrible singing, an innocent assuming Robin and a Batman with a no suit on. NAKED. GOD DAMN IT I SAW BATMAN NAKED_

_This rule has also been deleted for Robin #2 after a horrible experience with a prank war, flour and paint_

_This rule is still for Robin #3 as he is the one they push forth when someone is screaming from another room _

_This rule is still for Robin #5 as he isn't a little wiss_

Bat rule no.12

Every 60 hours at least 2 hours of sleep is in order

_Yeah well there was this incident with an English assignment, Joker &amp; Harley, nightmares and a GODDAMN NAKED BATMAN that prevented sleep for 61 hours. Such a rebel_

_...nightmares_

_NOPE_

_Father I once witnessed you stay awake for 264 hours trying to rescue Red Robin from a mess_

Bat rule no.13

Saving cats for trees is NOT something Batman OR Robin must do.

_But stake outs are BBBOOORRRIIINNNGGG_

_IGNORED_

_It humanizes us_

_If an innocent animal is in any danger I will risk my live to save it_

Bat rule no. 14

The catch phase 'the goddamn batman' is to never be used

_It got you top hits on the news_

_It's what we're gonna write on your statue. Bruce Wayne blah bla bhal blah blah THE GODDAMN BATMAN_

_It is quite catching_

_It has been years still that first started Father and it is as strong as ever _

Bat rule no. 15

Agent A's cookies are always split evenly

_YOU ALWAYS STEAL MINE YOU THEFT_

_Oh no I forgot how to count but you can have five while I have twelve_

_Depends on what you count as evenly _

_Father you are a rotten theft when it comes to this instance_

Bat rule no. 16

No using people like monkey gyms

_Unless it's an enemy, you have ask permission first or they are quite used to you antics. This is the rule I hear about the most I swear..._

_Unless it is THE GODDAMN BATMAN_

_Why would you do this in the first place?_

_^For once I agree with younger Drake_

Bat rule no.17

Passwords are to be change every day- twice a day

_My password right now is Robinrocks1234567890!And tomorrow it's going to be Robinrocks1234567890!_

_YOU USED UP ALL THE POSSIBLE ROBINROCKS PASSWORDS SO NOW IM STUCK WITH "ERASER12" and "horse7"_

_Actually I've updated the security so now we don't have to_

_Who could possibly hack us anyways?_

Bat rule no. 18

Hacking into the Justice League data frame for fun can only happen twice a day

_Did you know Flash still sleeps with a teddy bear_

_Twice for fun but three times for curiosity_

_I upgraded it so it's only possible for us to hack in more than once a day _

_It's been quite a while but Flash still sleeps with a teddy bear. It's human sized, isn't fluffy, breathes and answers to Iris. _

Bat rule no. 19

Don't use people as spring boards

_Ah another bat rule I'm used to hearing. Gave Green Lantern a heart attack with this one_

_Use the enemies as spring boards. They can't handle your sudden weight_

_Use the walls as spring boards. They won't collapse underneath you _

_Don't use anything for a spring board_

Bat rule no. 20

Always help a hero who is hurt

_Unless it's just their ego_

_Or if they shoud just suck it up_

_Or if you are also hurt_

_Or if you just don't care_

Bat rule no. 21

Bat glare is only used on villains

_And friends, and the innocent and the guilty and everyone but Agent A otherwise no cookies for you_

_Once you master it, you get EVERYTHING_

_Honestly it's like my resting face right now_

_I am the definition of a bat glare_

Bat rule no. 22

Always keep track of where you went as your secret ID and where you went as a hero

_Okay there was that one time_

_What's the point? We go everywhere anyways_

_This one is hard to keep_

_No one is ever going to know specifically where we went and who we went as. Except Drake because he was a stalker _

Bat rule no. 23

Always obey your superior

_For Robin, Batman. For Batman, Agent A_

_Everyone calls to Agent A_

_EVERYONE^^^^^^_

_For Robin, Red Robin. For Red Robin, Red Hood. For Red Hood, Nightwing. For Nightwing, Batman. For Batman, Agent A_

Bat rule no. 24

No uniform to be worn in mansion

_Except Robin trying on Batman's cowl and Cape_

_Try me_

_What about getting changed in your room and heading down to the bat cave?_

_Father you hypocrite _

Bat rule no. 25

Never let your guard down

_Your guard is a good man- a bodyguard for you. Never let him down_

_Unless they say there's free candy_

_Unless you're really REALLY tired_

_Unless you're dead because that's what you will be if you let your guard down_

Bat rule no.26

Never answer any of the media's questions

_My most favourite one "Where is Batman?"_

_"Are you original Robin or are you a new one?"_

_"Are you another Robin?"_

_"What number is this? The fifth Robin?"_

Bat rule no.27

Never be caught by the fangirls

_Easy for you to say. Robin has at least triple the amount of fangirls then you do_

_Except when they're offering doughnuts _

_They actually made a terrible kidnapping of me that one time_

_I don't have any fangirls I can't handle_

Bat rule no.28

Never signed an autographs

_Unless there are any creative reasons why_

_Unless it's on their boobs_

_Unless it's the cheque at a store_

_Unless it's branded into your enemies skin_

Bat rule no. 30

No texting in the bat cave

_Calling is a great exception_

_You'll never catch me alive_

_But it could be something important_

_You cannot take my property away from me. It's mine_

Bat rule no. 31

No texting in the bat mobile

_Calling is a great loophole_

_Just try and stop me_

_What if it's important_

_You can't take it away. I don't believe in groundings _

Bat rule no. 32

Never down play the extent of injuries

_"Yes I got a broken knee cap, pulled a muscle and a couple of splinters" __"From running into a tree again Wally" __"Yep."_

_"I stained my ankle" "Suck it up Princess"_

_"Help!" "You'll be fine"_

_I am not a child Father_

After Damian was satisfied with his responses he left them in his drawer and went downstairs for dinner. The ragged piece of paper was soon found by Alfred as he lovingly showed Bruce what had happened to his beloved bat rules.


	36. Wally (part V)

**Wally (part V)**

**Sorry for the filler chapter**

It was all going too fast. Before she was training with Conner and then she was stolen at superspeed which reminded her of the way Wally used to pick her up and travel someplace else. The flash of yellow and red almost made her believe that it was Wally. But it wasn't Wally holding her but Bart. As quick as she was swept off her feet she was put back down. In the last place she wanted to be. Antarctica. Her eyes swept the area, not actually looking for the sake of her sanity. She marched over to Dick to whom she saw through the fuzzy snow. Probably because of his Nightwing suit that had been dyed green. Neon green. By the famous brothers she supposed.

"What is this?" Minding her language after glancing at the little boy who was currently sitting upon her friend's shoulders. Was that a brother?Dick looked up at her from a bunch of papers and frowned. "Haven't you been receiving my messages in morse code?"

"I have, I've just been ignoring them because they're all lies. Wally's gone Dick." She added in a sympathetic voice, remembering of the morse code taps on her door. The taps that told her that Wally was alive and she was going to see him again. What bullshit… that kept her awake all night with the possibility.

Dick rolled his eyes, "I brought you here because you'd kick my ass if this worked out and you weren't here. I'm not asking you to believe me, I just want you here." Artemis was going to argue further but the little boy riding Dick's shoulders gave her a really intimating glare and she gave up.

"So what's your plan?" Dick looked up at her, eyes full of gratitude. Her gaze swept the area that she was in but hadn't bothered to look at before. Rookie mistake. There was a massive, expensive looking tent, right next to the batplane (Did they steal it?), and inside, only seen through the opening flaps when Robin stepped out, was a medical bed surrounded by many machines and heaters. Robin approached them quickly, pulling his winter styled cape more tightly around him, reminding Artemis she was in workout gear and they were in the snow. She shivered slightly and waited until Dick started explaining.

"Wally is moving at a pace so fast that he's transparent. So Bart, Barry and Jay are going to help us reduce his speed even to catch him." Artemis nodded, seemed easy enough.

"Once he's stopped we're going to have to stabilise him and get him proper care before we can even think about moving him. Hence the get together." Artemis nodded once, shivering along with it.

"I'm going to need you to be the one to talk to the speedsters while we wait for Wally."

Artemis nodded and shivered once more, not for once believing his story but playing along. After this she would make sure he got the proper care needed. Not as full out as what they did to her, she wasn't a monster, but even just a full night's sleep and maybe a break from being Nightwing. And he should maybe keep a journal, those helped heaps. Wally was dead. Black Canary helped her realise this. Maybe she could help Dick realise this too.

She walked into the tent finding all three speedsters there, stretching their limbs and eating. Artemis was shocked at their activities and thinness of their uniforms. Usually heroes just burst into action, no need to stretch mainly because if there is a robbery going on there is no time to stretch. They've all dealt with the cramps and aches that come with not stretching. "They will be running faster and harder than what they've ever run before. And we decided to save weight and remove any armour to their uniform." Dick explained after seeing her shocked face. "From previous experiments and missions with the Reversed Flash we've figured there's an end to the supply of energy speedsters are supplied. If it was possible to do so without risking your lives we would have made the Reversed Flash also run."

Artemis noticed the speedster group was nodding along, bored, meaning they've already heard it before. Which means Dick was either rambling from nerves- a habit she thought he broke out of- or filling her in politely.

"So the plan is-" Dick supplied, "you three, "He pointed to the speedsters," are going to run across the world on the same route that Wally is, which I've already pointed out to you and set beacons so you know you're on the right track.. And you three, " He spun around pointing to three boys ranging in sizes and ages, obviously his brothers," plus me are going to wait for Wally to start appearing. When his appearance lasts longer than ten seconds we're going to trap him to get him to stop running and bring him here to stabilise him. For our years of experience of doing just that. "He shared a hard look at the boys, no doubt remembering them on their deathbeds.

"And Artemis," he said finally turning to her," you have the job to talk to them while they run and inform them of everything that's happening." Artemis nodded and seated herself in front of a monitor with three heartbeats, obviously Bart, Barry's and Jay's. Bart's was a bit sped up whether because that's his natural state, he was excited or nervous. She smiled encouraging at him and he smile back, a little shaky. Nervous then.

"Are we ready?" Dick asked, clapping his hands together and jittering as if he was also nervous. Everyone nodded with her and watched through the flaps as everyone got into positions.

If this worked…

Which it wouldn't

But if it did…

She wouldn't be so lonely anymore

She looked up in shock as Dick dropped a massive jumper on her, remembering only then that she was cold and probably shivering throughout that into meeting? Pep talk? Whatever it was.

"So since when did you become Santa's new elf?" She gestured to his neon green uniform.

He sighed, "A drunken bet with a sober brother." She smirked.

"Okay guys let's do this." Dick said into the microphone that she was to use when addressing each speedster. With a whoosh of a biting cold wind they took off and Dick walked out of the tent. Artemis watched the heartbeats slowly speed up. Artemis sighed.

It was all going so fast.


	37. Superhero texts

**Superhero texts**

**Green Arrow: **Soooooo

**Green Arrow: **Someone needs to rewrite out the roster duty at the Watchtower

**Green Arrow: **And the fridge needs re-stocking

**Green Arrow: **And the training rooms needs cleaning

**Green Arrow: **And the showers

**Green Arrow: **…And Red Tornado is off world so someone needs to be den mother for the young heroes

**The Flash: **Fuck it, I'm becoming a stripper

**Green Arrow: …**

**Green Arrow: **This isn't-

**Green Arrow: **This isn't even your paying job

* * *

**Damian: **What does LOL mean?

**Tim: **Lemon or Lime, definitely

* * *

**Batman: **Who did it?

**Robin: **You're gonna have to be more specific

**Batman: **Who did something against the rules and defied my orders

**Robin: …**

**Robin: **You're gonna have to be more specific

* * *

**Red Arrow: **I'm uncover in this cult that sacrifices virgins and I need back up. Any unvirgins here?

**Aqualad: **I have lost my virginity

**Robin: **Ages ago

**Kid Flash: **Yeah… I'm gonna have to sit this one out

**Red Arrow: **pussy

**Kid Flash: **Hey Red I thought you were recovering after that fight with Killer Frost

**Kid Flash: **…

**Kid Flash: **There was no uncover mission, was there?

**Kid Flash: **You all are assholes

* * *

**Zatanna: **Rachet ass hoe

**Zatanna: **I don't fuck around

**Zatanna: **If you fuck with my man

**Zatanna: **I'll burn your house down

**Zatanna: **nwod esuoh reh nruB

* * *

**Red Hood: **Holy duck

**Red Hood: ***duck

**Red Hood: ****DUCK

**Red Hood: **What the shut

**Red Hood: ***SHUT

**Red Hood: **Why can't I ducking swear?

**Nightwing: **Didn't Red Robin promise to get revenge about that ice bucket challenge you did to him?

**Red Hood: …**

**Red Hood: **I'm gonna kill that motherducker

* * *

**Robin: **WHAT ARE YOU DOING

**Kid Flash: **LAUGHING TOO HARD

**Robin: **SAVE ME

**Kid Flash: **I can't- the fangirls just disappeared

**Robin: **I AM BEING KIDNAPPED

**Kid Flash: **OH MY GODDD

**Kid Flash: **THE FANGIRLS HAHAHAHAHA

* * *

**Damian: **What does LOL mean?

**Alfred: **I believe it means Loads of Landry Master Damian

* * *

**M'gann: **Conner you left your phone back at the Mountain

**M'gann: **Conner?

**M'gann: …**

**M'gann: **Hello M'gann

* * *

**Artemis: ** Ksdi

**Artemis: **ekd

**Artemis: **hh

**Artemis: **ui

**Zatanna: **Gurl, what?

**Artemis: **ejej n

**Zatanna: **Okay honey

* * *

**Damian: **What does lol mean?

**Jason: **Loss of life

**Jason: **Specifically yours

* * *

**Artemis: **I WAS TRAINING AND MY PHONE WAS IN MY BRA

**Zatanna: **Guess we can say your boobs did the talking

* * *

**Wally: ** Wanna come over

**Artemis: **Yeah what do you want to do?

**Wally: ** Well it involves pillows and sheets

**Artemis: …**

**Wally: **WE'RE GONNA BUILD A PILLOW FORT

**Artemis: **Oh thank god

* * *

**Artemis: **Crap I just got pulled over

**Dick: **Okay, step to step guide on how to not get a ticket

**Dick: **Pull open a couple of buttons of your top

**Artemis: **It's a girl what do I do

**Dick: …**

**Dick: **Pull open a couple of buttons of your top

* * *

**Dick: **So I'm on top of your roof

**Dick: **You gonna come out or what?

**Dick: ** I'm gonna start tap dancing soon

**Wally: **Dude shut up!

**Dick: **Success

* * *

**Damian: **What does LOL mean

**Dick: **Lots of love

* * *

**Damian: **Father, from research I have conducted you are either telling your workers loss of life, loads of laundry, lots of love or lemon or lemon.

**Bruce: **Remember what I taught you

**Damian: **Never use my brothers as research sources

**Bruce: ** Exactly

**Damian: **So what does LOL stand for?

**Bruce: **Loads of Liquor


	38. Wally (part VI)

**Wally (part VI)**

Usually while Bart ran he thought of many things to occupy his mind. Usually songs or movie quotes. Sometimes even poems. Sometimes he'd make up stories or remember the bedtime stories he was told as a kid. Sometimes he even went over customs of this time period, just as a review and reminded of his mission.

Just anything to occupy his thoughts because while running was moving him as fast as it could physically it didn't make his mind run slower. He just got bored so easy.

But now he didn't have the energy to think about anything but running. And how sore he was. His legs, his chest, his arms even. He couldn't remember song lyrics or make up stories because all he could think about is how his legs felt like they were melting. He could barely remember his own name. All he knew is that if he stopped Wally would never be saved. Just like Artemis, Barry and Jay were only willing to be out here for a day, just to 'play along' with their theory. If it didn't work today they would never be able to convince them again to do it.

They had been running for an least ten minutes. It didn't sound like long but running at his top speed, Bart was panting and sweating. He was running alongside Barry, needing to measure himself as to how fast he had to be running. Jay had fallen back slightly but from the history books it told that Jay was never as fast as Barry so it was to be as expected. Barry pushed himself farther, speeding up. Bart watched him speed ahead and tried to do the same. Tears leaked out of his eyes as he felt the pressure in his chest burn, harder than it had before. He refused to wipe away the tears and came level to Barry again, pushing this new speed. He had never run this fast before. Tears were streaming out of his eyes now. His feet hurt. His lungs hurt. They were turning to lead. He couldn't breathe anymore. The oxygen wasn't passing through his lungs. He couldn't bre-

Suddenly he heard Artemis' frantic shriek. "It's- It's Wally." She nearly shouting into his ear through his earpiece. He could clearly hear the disbelief in her voice. For a second all the pain disappeared. Wally was appearing. He was slowing down. There was a smile on his face as he looked at Barry but Barry pushed faster, obviously using Artemis' words as motivation.

So Bart did the same.

Wally was appearing.

Wally was alive.

He was saving Wally.

His ability to create stories appear once more and Bart pushed to Barry's speed while painting pictures out in his head. He first imagined finally stopping just to see Wally alive again. Then he imagined the team's disbelief, their tears of joy. Wally would be ever grateful. Bart being in the front row of Wally's and Artemis' wedding. And then a baby- no, no three babies. Triplets. And one would be named after him because he saved Wally from the Speedforce. And he would be their Uncle. Or at least that would be what they called him. And-

"Guys, it's really Wally," Artemis' voice cracked, shattering Bart's illusions. "Nightwing says you guys need to give one last push. Wally's appearing." She stated, mostly to herself. Bart looked again, up at Barry, who was already looking down at him. They shared a grim smile before Barry pushed forward one last time.

Bart couldn't even feel it anymore. The pain of his legs. His ever closing lungs. He faintly remembered one of Batman's lessons when he was taught that you knew you were dying of starvation when you didn't feel hungry anymore. He kept zooming over the ocean, then land, then more ocean. Surroundings burred into a constant stream of colour. He had never ran this fast before. He hoped he would never would have to again.

Artemis' voice crackly yelled into his ear. "Slow down! They've caught him! Slow down!" But he couldn't.

"Bart! You're heartbeat! Stop!"

"Stop!"

Stop!

Her words were echoing in his mind but he couldn't stop. He couldn't slow down. He felt like his brain was detached from the rest of his body. In his head he was panicking. He couldn't slow down. But his body still ran on.

Faintly he could hear Barry call out his name. He had to stop. He had to stop.

But he ran on.

Perhaps he had broke Wally out of the Speedforce just for him to fall into-

Pain

Wet pain

Blood?

He tried to breath only swallow a mouthful of salt water. Wet pain of water. And probably blood.

* * *

He would be told later that he was fazing out, like how Wally had. He would be told later that in a desperate attempt to save him, Barry tackled him into the ocean. But crashing at the speed they did…

Jay nearly died retrieving them from drowning. He barely managed to drag them above the water and swim the way to shore before running to the nearest zeta tube and begged anyone present to help them. From where he had hit the water, patches of Bart's skin had peeled back, Barry's shoulder had popped out and both of them had inhaled enough water for it to have to be pumped out of their lungs. From the excessive amount of exercise and little energy Jay fell into a coma.

Bart was told later that the worse part was the panic. Three speedsters were dropped off on their deathbeds and needed desperate medical attention. But how and why? And the confusion only continued as a bloody bat family zeta tubed up calling for medical attention for Wally after they had successfully stop his heart from continuing to flat line.

It wasn't for 48 hours- 48 whole hours, three surgeries for Bart and Wally, a seizure from Jay and a meltdown from Barry who then slipped into a coma, for Artemis to explain to everyone what had occurred. And how Wally was alive.

It wasn't for a whole month later that they were stabilised and every one was satisfied that no one was going to die.

It wasn't for a whole month later that Bart smirked up at Wally. Jay had been discharged and sent back home to recover with his family after his condition had significantly improved after he woke up. Barry often disobeyed orders and left bed rest to return to work. This was one of them periods where they counting down his freedom before a concerned friend dragged him back. The longest he had lasted was a whole day before Batman brought him back. Nevertheless Wally and Bart were the only recovering speedsters left. Bart apparently only had another couple of day to make sure his new skin drafts had settled in properly before he was allowed to leave. Bart was still smirking, much to Wally's annoyance.

"What?" He asked finally. While most teammates would be shocked at the impatient tone, especially when Bart had saved his life but any team mate who was close to any speedster would know that spending a whole month in the same room with impatient, annoying, healing speedsters would drive anyone insane.

"Well I was just think about the years of grovelling you have to do now."

Wally sighed, "I know, thank you so much-"

"No, I meant to her." Bart interrupted, referring to the blonde archeress whose head was laying getting on Wally's raising and falling chest. Wally smiled down at her, untangling his hand from a dozen tubes to stroke her hair lovingly, of which she had cut shorter, a bob actually.

"I have got lots to make up from. Did I miss another Valentine because she'll back me pay for that." Wally then smirked, looking up at Bart, "What about yours?"

Bart smiled. In a similar fashion to Artemis, Jaime was spread out on top of him. The poor boy had returned from school and instantly fell asleep, obviously stressed from school, the team and… well him. Artemis was pretty much the same. Except with Uni and her father stirring up trouble. And Jade had gone MIA leaving a very distraught Roy and Lian. Sometimes they were allowed out, rolled around in wheelchairs. Wally got to visit his statue before it got taken down. Favourite quotes from the experience was

"You heroes and your dying so let's build him a statue, but oh wait, he's back alive, let's take down the statue."- One of the mechanics entrusted to check up on the Watchtower and fix anything.

"What a fine piece of ass."- Wally to his own statue.

"Wait, come back, I can't wheel this by myself."- Wally, after Artemis left him for his previous comment.

Bart smiled back up at Wally, "I'm glad you're back."

Wally smiled at him, "I'm glad to be back."

**I think I'll add one more chapter onto this mini series. Maybe from Wally's view. **


End file.
